Gossamer
by DarkAngel2112
Summary: Needing help, a young woman makes a deal with Morgana & Morgause - Seduce Merlin and trap him somewhere he can't escape from. But when she tries to back out, she finds she is bound to her task. Destiny will prevail. A telling of the Lady of the Lake.
1. Over From The Start

**Gossamer: Author's Note & Prologue**

Author's Note:

Greetings, Merlin fans! Yes, it's true; I've started a Lady of the Lake story. This is just some information prior to the story that's not life-or-death-you-MUST-read-it, but it would help both you and I if you did. :) It explains a bit about the story before you read it and some information about why I came up with certain ideas. So, any avid fans of the Arthurian legend probably watched episode 2x08 of Merlin and looked at their TVs with an expression quite like this:

O.O

…Wow.

It reminded me more of Elaine of Astolat, to be honest. You know, with the boat bit and all… I was actually really confused until the excuse they gave me in the series 3 finale.

Anyway, I did some more research on the Lady of the Lake, and wrote a story based on my findings. (Slight AU, so bear with me on this one!) The Lady of the Lake is part of a legend with so many different tellings and aspects of it that it would be nearly impossible to fit it all into one story. (Some even have Morgana as The Lady!) But I am determined to do my best to fit as many parts of the legend into this story, even if most of them will appear _incognito._ This story is set after series 3, although we're going to disregard Merlin's placement of Excalibur in the stone and we're gonna say he just threw it back in the lake, deal? And Freya is obviously not The Lady in this story.

This tale features a young woman named Lena, who is, of course, The Lady. In most legends, her name is either a variation of Nimueh or Vivian, but they've used both names in Merlin already, haven't they? But I read that in some legends, Merlin was said to have a wife by the name of Gwendoloena. Obviously I can't call her Gwen, so I just took four other letters out of that name. No, I'm kidding, but it made more sense than having another woman named Vivian/Nimueh/Gwen. Lena's father's name will be Dyonas, which is The Lady's father's name in certain legends. When he is her father, she really _is _a lady of the court, but I've already done that. (Every Rose Has Its Thorn, anyone?)

Now, in some legends, The Lady is evil personified. She seduces Merlin and traps him in a cave, tree, or sometimes, an invisible tower. However, there is a poem which gave me inspiration for this story up the wazoo. It is called _Merlin _(real original, right?) and it's by Edwin Arlington Robinson. You should definitely look it up if you have some spare time, it's really quite good. (Part V was the most helpful to me.) In this poem, The Lady (here she is Viviane) is not an evil woman; instead she is a beautiful maiden whom Merlin truly loves and would do anything for, which includes him leaving Arthur and going away to Broceliande with Vivian_._ Here, Lena is not truly evil, just a conflicted woman. Oh, and sometimes, The Lady is the lover of Pelles, the Fisher King, but if you all remember, he was the old dude that Merlin killed (kindly) in series 3. So, yeah, I'm kind of completely forgetting that bit.

...That was him, right?

Anyway, this story is really an inner dark vs. light battle that I think is pretty common, but hopefully can be pulled off once more. Lena's destiny is to trap Merlin, and to be the death of him, but she wants to escape that… or at least she thinks she does. When it begins, Lena is rather Guinevere-like, I suppose you could say. Family-based, nice, sort of shy, and has a relaxed crush on Merlin. It's nothing serious until her destiny comes into play. As the story goes on, you see her becoming darker and darker, and people around her begin to notice this change… it is sort of like Morgana in series 2, in all truth.

I have to be honest with you all right now. In most of my stories, the characters usually stay the same the whole time. If they're sweet, they stay sweet. If they're bitter… well, I suppose you get the point. They might have some sort of epiphany, but this is my first time writing a character that goes through such a change over the course of the story, so if you're reading and there's something you think I could improve on involving this I welcome your opinion. I'm truly quite nervous about this.

So, people who have gotten this far, if you read on, I'd be most obliged, and if you reviewed… well, I'd be ecstatic. So, future readers of this story, I hope you enjoy!

~The DarkAngel

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue: Over From The Start<strong>

Lena looked at her reflection in the hand mirror, scrutinizing her appearance. She was not a vain creature, for one's looks was usually the last thing on one's mind when working on a farm.

_But we're not on a farm anymore, _Lena reminded herself. Her mother, Bethany, had passed away a few years back, and it seemed as though Lena's father's good fortune and healthy crops had died with her. So Dyonas, who was a father to the nineteen-year-old Lena, the twelve-year-old Adam, and the nine-year-old Olive, had packed up their belongings and moved their family to the kingdom of Camelot.

Dyonas hoped to become a blacksmith, as he had heard that the kingdom was in need of one. He planned to teach Adam his craft so that his son could one day take his place in the world. As for his daughters, well, he was sure Camelot could use two more seamstresses, even though Olive was somewhat underage.

Although being a seamstress (or a maidservant, if it came down to that) was not what Lena would have chosen for herself, she knew she had to find a way to make money. Olive was still too young, and although she would grow, the family needed money right then.

This was the reason for Lena's early-morning conflict. Should she wear her hair up or down? She had only two dresses; which would look better? Normally Lena would not have troubled herself with such trivial matters, but she was going with her father and siblings that morning to seek an audience with the king, and the family could not afford to make a bad impression on the court. Lena doubted that whether her hair was in a ponytail or a braid would make much of a difference, but if the king accepted her family, they would be given a house and possible futures in Camelot. Lena smiled at the thought. All her family had at the moment were a few bags with their possessions and two sickly horses.

Lena's dream was to change that. She wanted to change _all _of that. Her moss-green eyes shone with hope as she pushed her brown hair onto one shoulder. She supposed she looked all right, at least by her standards… she was just worried that the king would have other ideas. Now, about Olive…

"Lena!" As if on cue, the energetic child came sprinting over to where Lena was putting away her hand mirror. She treasured that hand mirror, for it was a family heirloom that she had been given by her mother on the eve of her sixteenth birthday.

"Father says we're going to see the inside of a castle," Olive chattered away happily. Lena smiled lovingly at her sister, and let her talk. "Do you think we might be able to see real jewels?" At this, Lena's smile grew. She knew Olive had a certain infatuation with jewels, especially the dark, richly colored ones.

Looking off into the distance, Lena saw the castle, which appeared to be sparkling, and she couldn't figure if it was her imagination or a trick of the light.

"Judging by _that_, yes, Olive," the older girl answered. Olive grinned.

"Do I look all right, Lena?" she inquired.

"You look beautiful, love. Just like Mother." Lena sometimes envied Olive, since the younger girl did resemble their mother in many ways. Olive had their mother's blue eyes and light brown hair, whist Lena resembled their father a bit more. Adam was a perfect mix of their mother and father, as far as Lena was concerned. He had their father's messy black hair and their mother's blue eyes that were much like Olive's.

Lena stole one last glance at herself in her hand mirror. She wrapped it carefully in cloth, placed it in her satchel, and continued listening to Olive talk.

_Yes, _Lena mused, _I can change our lives for the better here. For Olive, for Adam, for my father… and for my mother. I am sure it is what she would have wanted me to do. Yes, we are in Camelot now, and it is time for a change._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**_ One last thing. I am looking for a beta for this story, so if you're interested in proofreading the remainder of this fic, please message me or tell me in your REVIEW!_


	2. Caught Me At The First

**A/N: Here's our first real chapter! I hope you enjoy. :) Thanks to Alactricity, who is now my beta. Please review!**

_Never was a girl with a wicked mind, but everything looks better when the sun goes down..._

**Chapter One: Caught Me At The First**

It was midday when Adam, Lena, and Olive found themselves standing in the corridor outside of Uther's throne room. Lena stood as still as a statue, silently pondering their uncertain future. Adam seemed fascinated with the knights standing outside of the throne room, and Olive was focused on keeping still, for the young girl had endless energy. Lena had warned her about being too rambunctious before entering the castle.

Worrying her lower lip with her teeth, Lena stroked Olive's soft hair in an attempt to calm herself; although she convinced herself she was doing it to calm her sister. The younger girl wasn't very nervous, however.

"Lena?" Olive whispered. She knew something was wrong.

"Yes?"

Olive realized she didn't really have anything to say, but she knew she had to keep the conversation going.

"Um…" the younger girl struggled to think of a topic. "Why… um… why do you push your hair in front of your eyes?" Olive saw Lena raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Well, you, um… you always push your hair in front of at least one of your eyes… why? Mother always said that the eyes were the windows to the soul."

By this point, Lena had figured out what Olive was up to, but figured that she might as well play along. She didn't know how long they were going to be waiting outside of the throne room.

"I have my reasons, Olive." It was a vague answer on Lena's part.

"What are they?"

_Perhaps I do not wish for anyone to see my soul, _Lena thought bitterly, nearly saying the words in front of Olive. She sighed. She tried to think of a way to speak her thoughts without saying something that would surely be a bad influence on Olive's innocent mind. She had never lied to Olive, and she wasn't going to start now.

"Livvie…" Lena began, using her pet name for her sister, "I think that, if the eyes are windows to the soul, I want mine to be stained glass. A bit harder to see through, and it requires a bit more effort… do you know what I mean?"

Olive nodded, even though she was still a bit unsure of the significance of Lena's words. All she knew for sure was that her sister hardly trusted people, and in turn, not a lot of people trusted her. But Olive loved Lena, and she believed in her sister. She knew she could.

After all, Lena had never lied to her.

* * *

><p>Lena watched as Olive pondered what she had said. And while she loved Olive, Lena needed some time to think about the dream she'd had the night before. It had been quite an unpleasant night…<p>

_Lena wanted to get out. She was trapped, and she didn't quite know where she was. But she was drowning. She was drowning in blood. Lena ignored the fact that this was disgusting and frightening and focused on getting out. She felt as though she were bound to the floor by some unseen force._

_Lena shuddered as the blood she was drowning in suddenly became cold. And she was bound, still bound…_

It hadn't taken her long to figure out the meaning of her dream. _Killed in cold blood, _she thought.

Letting her eyes wander around the corridor, Lena's gaze met that of a knight, who grinned at her and sent her a wink. Lena felt a slight blush creep onto her cheeks and looked the other way. This did not go unnoticed by Olive.

"Papa thinks you should marry soon," she piped up. Lena could not help but scoff.

"I have plenty of time to get married, Olive." She ruffled her sister's hair fondly, and Olive smiled.

"You will marry for love, won't you, Lena?" was Olive's next question. Lena looked down sadly and tried to smile. The innocence of the question was almost painful.

"I will… do what is best for our family," she finally answered. Olive looked at her, shocked.

"You would give up marrying someone you love for our family?" she asked. Lena shrugged.

"Family comes first, Olive. That's the way it is."

"Oi! Girls!" came Adam's voice. Olive and Lena looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Lena pushed some hair behind her left ear, and let a few brown locks stay over the right side of her face. Lena then lifted her chin, and watched Olive do the same out of the corner of her eye. She took a step forward with Olive following a bit behind her. _One foot in front of the other_, she reminded herself as she was greeted with the bright lights of the sun shining through the windows of the throne room. The corridor had been a bit darker, and Lena needed a moment for her eyes to adjust.

She stole a glance at her father, who gave her a nervous look. Instantly, Lena felt a sense of panic. Had it not gone well with the king so far? Lena was sure she had to be careful now. Taking a breath, she walked up to a respectable distance in front of the king, and sank into a deep curtsy.

"My lord," she breathed, trying to ignore the unpleasant feeling of her sweaty palms.

"You may rise," Uther commanded.

Lena clasped her hands in front of her and looked anywhere but at the king. She looked over his head, to the right of him, to the left of him, and she –

Oh. _Oh_.

She'd heard tales about Prince Arthur. She'd had a friend back on the farm, Ivienna, who'd been to Camelot and happened upon the sight of the prince once. Ivienna had raved about the golden-haired man for days, and Lena had rolled her eyes the whole time. Seeing him in person now, though, he was definitely not bad to look at. She supposed that, if she were still a farm girl, she would have wanted to talk about him for a while to her friends, too.

And then her eyes wandered to the raven-haired man standing off to the side with another gentleman who looked like he could be the former's possible grandfather. A dark-skinned serving girl stood by them in a lavender dress, looking at someone… perhaps the prince?

Lena wondered if perhaps this girl was more of a dreamer than even Ivienna. She had doubted if that was even possible.

Lena forced herself to look back at the king. She felt a slight tug on her skirt, and stole a sideways glance at Olive, who seemed to be just as nervous as Lena now. Being judged by a king sometimes did that to you.

"What is your reason for coming to Camelot?" Uther asked, the question aimed at Lena. The green-eyed girl cleared her throat, feeling as though her father had probably answered the question. Perhaps the king was searching for a different answer. But she noticed he wasn't even looking at her properly. He was staring over her forehead with an expression on his face that Lena couldn't place. She felt like she was missing something… but she had a question to answer.

"Our farm was destroyed… all our crops died. My brother and sister…" Lena saw Adam standing over by their father, and Olive was still right by her hip, "I feared that they would not survive for long. I knew of Camelot's prosperity, and I suggested that we come here." Lena looked back at her father. Was that pride in his eyes? She hoped it was. She felt her self-confidence get a little boost.

Lena expected Uther's ego to inflate a little at her mention of Camelot's good fortune, but instead his gaze misted over. "Go on," he prompted her. He looked nearly angry.

_Oh, hell, oh, hell, oh, hell..._

"Well… I was hoping to perhaps become a seamstress or a maidservant… anything that you need, really." Lena tried to keep a pleading tone from creeping into her voice. "My sister, Olive… I could teach her what to do. My father caught wind that your kingdom was in need of a royal blacksmith, and I believe he and my brother would be very good at that," Lena finished, inhaling sharply. She was nervous again, and she felt shaky.

Uther didn't say anything for a minute, and there was an uncomfortable silence. Prince Arthur cleared his throat. "We will have to give the matter some thought. There is a house you can stay in for tonight while the decision is made," Arthur said. He paused, and added as an afterthought, "I must make sure that you and your family are clear in understanding the laws of Camelot." The king looked over to where Dyonas and Adam were standing while his son continued to speak. "Magic is outlawed, and if you are found guilty of practicing it, you will be sentenced to death."

Lena gulped. No one in her family was magical or practiced magic, as far as she knew. She felt that they were safe.

"Yes, my lord," Dyonas answered, bowing his head. "Thank you for your generosity."

Lena stole another look at the prince, wondering why he'd had to step in. She caught his eye accidentally, and turned away the moment she realized she had. He looked as though he had a lot on his mind. And she hadn't missed the look – what it was a look _of_, Lena still didn't know – that flashed across his father's face upon the mention of magic.

Oh, the king. Powerful? Clearly he was. But he had hardly been able to look Lena in the eye, which made her question everything she'd heard about him. He seemed as though he was trying to put something back together… his kingdom, his life? Lena couldn't fathom what it might be. Had she missed something? Was Camelot not in the good state it had been when Ivienna had been there? Why was the king so… distracted?

_Well,_ she considered, _those who have everything have the most to lose, I suppose._

Her eyebrows furrowed together. She had been told she thought about pointless things too much, and read too deeply into them. She forgot her musings for the moment and followed her father and siblings out of the throne room, where two guards were apparently leading them to their temporary home.

Lena swallowed what was left of her fear as she heard the large wooden doors shut behind her. She looked down, seeing Olive still somewhat clutching to her.

"It's over now, Livvie," Lena soothed. "You're all right."

"I know, but was what the prince said really true? If we were magical, we would die?" Olive asked, eyes wide.

"Magic is a crime here, and, yes, the punishment is death." Lena watched as Olive's blue eyes widened even further. "But we are not magical, and we will not practice magic, so we will not have anything to worry about, okay?"

Olive seemed to relax a little bit, and then she asked another question. "Was magic illegal where we used to live?"

"No."

"Then why is it not okay here?"

Most of the time, Lena had the answers to Olive's questions. But this time, she found she didn't have one. Or at least, an answer that Olive was probably looking for.

"I… I am not quite sure, Olive. The king thinks it is wrong."

"Is it wrong?"

Lena sighed. "You are so full of questions, love. I cannot say if it is wrong or not, as I have never known anyone who practiced it, but it is what the king thinks, so we have to follow his rules."

Olive didn't ask any more questions, and for this Lena was grateful. She was also happy, for that night she would get to lie down in a bed instead of the forest floor.

This was a new beginning. And Lena was determined to make sure nothing got in the way of her family's future.

* * *

><p>Lena spread a quilt across the bed that she was to share with Olive, touching the material delicately. She'd made it with her mother when she was ten, and although Adam and Olive were too young to remember, ever since it had been in their family, things had been better.<p>

_And then Mother died and everything turned out horribly, _Lena thought sadly. She took a deep breath, placing her hands on her hips and surveying the house. It wasn't as big as what they'd had on the farm, but it was nice. She'd have to keep Adam and Olive on a tighter leash in Camelot, but they would be fine.

_Olive is going to grow up here, and she is going to be beautiful, _Lena thought, able to picture their life already. _She _is _beautiful._ _Adam is going to be the apple of all the women's eyes. He will marry a lovely girl, and the whole family will adore her. Olive will be strong, just as I am teaching her to be. She will certainly give any man in her life some trouble. _Lena smiled to herself. _And the man she marries will be gallant, handsome, and chivalrous… and he will love her until the day he dies._

Whenever things looked uncertain, Lena liked to pretend she knew what was going to happen. She would imagine her sibling's futures, and they would always have wonderful lives.

But she didn't like to think about her own future. She wasn't sure why; she just didn't want to.

She thought back to what Olive had said about Dyonas wanting her to marry soon. She knew she was of age, and that she should have seen it coming. During their journey to Camelot, they had stopped off at many towns, and once in a while a stable boy would flirt with Lena.

Lena had seen her father's expression when such things happened. She had gauged his reactions, and she knew that he was waiting to see her response. Lena was sure that, if her father was given his way, a knight would fall for her or something of that sort.

Although Lena was of age, she was still young. She had plenty of time to find a man, didn't she? Of course, if a knight did ask for her hand, she wasn't sure she would be able to say no. A future with a knight of Camelot would give her family what they needed. Nothing was impossible, but Lena just didn't see her father's wishes coming true. And besides, weren't knights supposed to marry noble women? Of course they were.

As Lena wiped her hands on her ivory-colored nightgown and turned to go find Olive to put her to bed, there was a knock at the door. Lena sighed and went to answer it. On the other side was a man who she remembered seeing in the throne room that day. He had dark hair, a slim frame, and blue eyes.

"What can I do for you?" Lena asked, pushing a rogue piece of hair away from her face. She felt a little bit of heat rise to her cheeks as she realized she was only in her thin nightgown.

"Um, Gaius – the court physician – sent me with this," the man said, holding up a jar with a thick white paste inside of it. He seemed to notice Lena's less-than-substantial attire, as well, as the tips of his ears had turned slightly pink. Lena looked at the jar quizzically.

"Oh. Er, what is it?"

"He said that he noticed your sister seemed to have some sort of rash on her arm…" the man trailed off.

"Oh, yes, she got into a patch of poison ivy yesterday. She has been itching at it ever since." Lena took the jar from the man's hands. "Well, tell Gaius thank you very much." The man nodded, smiled a little, and turned to go.

"Wait!" Lena grabbed his sleeve lightly.

"Yes?" He turned back around.

"What's your name?" she asked. The man's smile grew, if only by a little.

"Merlin."

"Well, Merlin, I'm Lena, and thank you for delivering this," Lena said, stepping back into the house. "Goodnight."

"'Night."

Lena shut the door and placed the salve on the table. "Olive!" she called, and the young girl came running into the room. "Time to wind down, honey. Come here and sit next to me." Lena picked up the jar again and sat down on the bed, patting the spot to her right. Olive jumped right next to her, wearing a light pink nightgown. Rolling up the left sleeve of Olive's gown, Lena took some paste onto her middle and index fingers and rubbed it all over the lower part of Olive's arm.

"What are you doing?" Olive asked, swinging her feet.

"The court physician sent over something to help with your arm. I _told _you about poison ivy, you know."

Olive sighed. "I'm sorry, Lena."

"It's all right, love. There, that should stop the itching," Lena declared, having finished her tasks. "Goodnight, Livvie. I shall see you in the morning."

"You aren't coming to bed?" Olive asked, snuggling under the quilt. Lena knew Olive would need it, since it was mid-autumn, and it was getting chilly at night.

"No, Olive, I have some things I must take care of first," Lena explained, blowing out the candles near their bedside. "Go to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow I can take you around." Even in the darkness, Lena could see Olive smiling.

"Okay. Goodnight, Lena."

"Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Lena stayed in the room for a few minutes, waiting to hear Olive's soft, steady breathing that assured her the young girl was asleep.

Lena stepped on the other side of the curtain that separated her and Olive's bed and a small area of space from the rest of the house, and closed it as delicately as she could, so that she did not make much noise. She walked over to where her father was looking over some papers, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you doing?" Lena asked softly. Dyonas shrugged.

"Fine. Is Olive in bed?"

"Yes. Is Adam?"

"Last I checked."

The silence between Lena and her father was awkward, at least for Lena. She wished she had something more to say.

"The king is probably going to let us live here, you know. Permanently, I mean," she mentioned.

"Mm hmm."

"That will be good, won't it?"

"Sure."

Lena exhaled slowly.

"What's wrong, Father?" she asked. "Did something go wrong with the king? Did he say something?" Her voice became almost panicked. "Is he not going to let us stay?"

Dyonas shook his head. "The king hasn't made up his mind yet, Lena. He said that." Dyonas took a drink from his flask of water.

"Well, ever since we got here, you have been acting strange."

"Have I?"

"Yes, and I am worried!" Lena told him, panic creeping into her voice. Dyonas stood up and kissed his daughter on the forehead.

"We are going to be fine, Lena. Don't worry about me." With that, he went into the space he shared with Adam, and closed the curtain. Lena stared after him hopelessly, and groaned. Something was happening, and she knew it. Who did her father think she was, someone with a mental affliction?

She blew out the rest of the lit candles and crawled into bed with Olive, not bothering to unpack her things. That could wait until the morning. Lena suddenly felt exhausted, as though their journey had finally caught up to her. She was asleep within minutes, comfortable under the quilt with her sister.

_Not quite home, but something close_.

Well, maybe someday.


	3. Seek, Then Hide

**A/N: Hello again. Here comes the conflict... so early, I know, but we might as well get going while the going's good, right?... is that even a saying? :P Anyway, I've finished about 15 chapters of this story, and I've got it all planned out, so I hope you like it! Review, please? The button's RIGHT THERE when you finish, why not click it and let me know your thoughts? :)**

_~Close your eyes, little girl, 'cause it's easier when you brace yourself... set your thoughts on a world far off, where we only cry with joy.~_

**Chapter Two: Seek, Then Hide**

The next morning was sunny, bright, and warm – but not too warm – and it was seemingly perfect.

Yawing as she woke up, Lena realized she had slept a good length of the day. The sun was already at its high point in the sky; it had to be midday at the very least.

Putting her hand to her hair and feeling the mess of tangles that had gotten there during the night, Lena wondered why Olive had not woken her up. Normally if she slept past eight, which she hardly ever did, Olive would jump on her bed yelling whatever news there was that morning in order to get her up.

"Olive? Adam?" Lena called, a slightly worried tone to her voice.

"Yes?" came the combined young voices. Inwardly, Lena breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you two get up late?" she asked. Both Olive and Adam shook their heads, and Lena gave them a surprised look. They were usually so talkative, Olive especially.

"Adam, where is-"

"In there," Adam said, pointing to the space he shared with their father. Lena surveyed the children's expressions, surprised Olive didn't have anything to add. The older girl crept behind the curtain, and found her father lying in the bed. Swallowing anxiously, Lena whispered, "Father?" and hoped she got a response.

"Yeah… I'll be up in a minute."

Lena breathed a sigh of relief at her father's voice. "Have you talked to Olive or Adam at all?" Perhaps they were mad at her for some reason?

"No, not this morning. Haven't been up."

"Oh."

Now _that_ was strange. Dyonas had always been the first one up...

"Are you sure are all right?" Lena asked. "Because I could always stay-"

"No, go out with your sister," Dyonas ordered. "I'll be here with Adam. Give me a minute; I'll be up."Lena nodded, although she knew Dyonas could not see her, for his eyes were still closed.

She left his space, putting the curtain back into place meticulously. She turned around and was met with the questioning glances of her younger siblings.

"Traveling's caught up to him is all," Lena said, shrugging. She had no better explanation. The ever-trusting Olive nodded and went back to staring at the table, apparently counting the number of knots in the wood. Adam, however, gave Lena a look that meant _I know you're not being completely honest with us_.

Whenever their father was out of commission (whether it was sickness or a sprained muscle), Adam considered himself to be the man of the house, therefore making himself in charge of Lena and Olive. Of course this was not true, but Lena decided to be a good sister and let him believe it.

Seeing the look on her brother's face, Lena shot him one right back. _We will talk later, _it said. Adam shrugged and looked at the ceiling, not wanting to meet Lena's eyes. He knew they could pierce into him like daggers if she wanted them to.

_A useful skill inherited from Mother, _Lena thought smugly. She might not have gotten crystal-clear blue eyes or exceptionally soft skin like Olive, but at least she knew how to pull off her mother's intense gaze.

"Olive, I told you I was going to take you into the city today," Lena said, breaking the silence. "Are you ready?"

Olive nodded obediently, and went to fetch her cloak. Lena bent down next to Adam and hissed a command in his ear.

"If Father is not out of bed within the hour, come and get me."

Adam raised his eyebrows, as if to tell his sister _I'll get you if I feel like getting you_, but Lena ignored him as Olive came running back with her maroon cloak fastened around her neck. Lena pulled her own green cloak over her shoulders and tied the strings together.

_Within the hour_, she mouthed to Adam as she closed the door behind herself and Olive.

* * *

><p>Lena watched with a smile on her face as Olive's eyes widened at the sight of the marketplace. The older girl knew that her sister had never seen so many people in one place at one time.<p>

The smell of freshly-baked bread wafted over to Lena's nostrils, and she inhaled deeply. She discreetly wiped at her mouth, making sure she wasn't salivating too heavily. It had been a long time since she'd had anything like fresh-baked bread…

_I could get used to this kingdom_, Lena thought as she enthusiastically handed the baker a few coins from her purse. Her family didn't have a lot of money to spare, but the look on Olive's face from the exchange was priceless to the older girl. Lena smiled at her younger sister, and tilted her head a little as something - or someone, rather – caught her eye.

It was Merlin, the man she'd seen in the throne room and had delivered the salve for Olive's arm. She wasn't sure what she should do. She didn't suppose she knew him well enough to call him out, but perhaps she could bring Olive over to thank him… she had to talk to _someone_ here.

She sighed. Being the new girl was never easy.

Slipping her hand in Olive's, Lena made her way over to where Merlin seemed to be haggling for a set of herbs from one of the shopkeepers. He finished and received the herbs just as Lena and Olive approached him.

"Morning, Merlin," Lena smiled. Merlin smiled back.

"Morning… Lena." Lena didn't miss the little hesitation in his words, knowing he'd had to think about her name for a second.

"This is my sister, Olive… the one you brought the salve for," Lena said, holding Olive gently by her thin shoulders and pulling the younger girl in front of her. She knew that, if Merlin could hardly remember her name, he would certainly need some prompting on who her sister was and why he had brought her the salve.

Lena felt her cheeks burning a bit. This was just plain sad, but she was desperate for someone to talk to. "We just wanted to thank you personally for it." Being the wonderful little girl she was, Olive smiled and rolled up the sleeve of her dress.

"It helped a lot," she offered in a soft voice. _I love you, Olive,_ Lena thought, hoping that perhaps her sister received her telepathic message. _I am bordering on the edge of tele-pathetic with this_, Lena reminded herself, nearly groaning.

"I'm glad." Merlin smiled down at the blue-eyed girl. Lena grinned, glad that this seemed to be going well and perhaps she had a friend here in Camelot, when all of a sudden she heard a familiar voice shouting her name across the marketplace.

She spun around and saw Adam running full-force towards her, jumping over carts and dodging stands on his way over.

"Oh, no," she muttered as she picked up her skirts and ran over to him.

"Lena! Lena, you have to come back to the house, you… you have to," Adam gasped, trying to catch his breath. Lena grabbed her younger brother by the shoulders firmly.

"Adam, what happened?" she asked, her teeth clenched. Adam took in one last gulp of air, and looked at her with a tired expression.

"Dad, he's… he won't wake up."

Lena could feel Merlin's eyes on her, and she looked over her shoulder to see him standing there with Olive.

"Adam, what are you talking about?" She lowered her voice. "What do you mean he won't wake up?"

"Come back to house," was all Adam said before he turned on his heel and ran back in the direction of their home. Lena turned back to Merlin with a pained expression on her face.

"I… something's come up…" Lena grabbed Olive by the hand and wasn't aware of the desperate look she had on her face.

"I'm-" Merlin had barely gotten the word past his lips before Lena went off quickly with Olive. Merlin sighed. He'd heard every word Adam had said. The warlock supposed he had to go fetch Gaius; after all, it sounded as though Lena's father had come down with something and was unconscious because of it.

Merlin honestly hoped that Lena's father would be okay; after all, he would understand what it would be like for her if he wasn't. Plus, she had those two younger siblings…

The warlock decided he'd better hurry.

* * *

><p>Lena kept a firm grip on her sister's hand as she raced behind Adam in the direction of their new home. At least, she <em>hoped<em> it would be their new home. She was almost certain her father would receive the royal blacksmith position…

But what if he was ill? _Deathly ill_. The words crossed Lena's mind but she banished them from her thoughts just as quickly as they had arrived there.

Adam shoved the door open with both hands, sprinting through the house as the door hit the wall with a _bang_. Lena didn't even think to stop and make sure that the wall was still completely intact, although she made a mental note to do that later, if she got a chance.

Lena released Olive's hand and told her sister to wait outside. If something had truly happened, she didn't want the younger girl exposed to it.

The feel of her father and brother's room seemed ominous as Lena approached Dyonas' unmoving figure in the same cautious manner she had only an hour or so ago. She looked over at Adam, who stood about as far away from her and Dyonas as possible. Lena gulped and placed a hand on her father's forehead. She felt a fever, and, summoning all her courage, opened one of his eyes. They were glazed over… but he was breathing.

_Yes, _she thought, feeling a small bit of relief flood through her. _Yes, he is still breathing. He is alive._

_There is hope._

A few minutes later, Lena knelt down by her father's bedside, bathing his brow with a cold, wet cloth. The young woman wished she was familiar with the herbs found in and around Camelot, for she felt confident she could find something to help bring down her father's fever down. But at that moment, all she had was the basics and her woman's intuition. She wasn't sure what kind of reputation these things had for saving lives, but she concluded that it was at least better than nothing.

Adam stood in the same spot he had been in when Lena left the room, seemingly stuck. He wouldn't take his eyes off of Dyonas and he didn't say a word. Lena had instructed Olive to get her some water from the well earlier, even though she really didn't need it. This was just no place for a little girl to be. Now Olive was back, and waiting in the bed she shared with Lena.

Suddenly, Lena heard a knock, and then she heard the door to their home opened. Lena stole a glance at her father, and gave Adam a meaningful look that said _watch him_. Adam shrugged, but his eyes stayed glued to his father the whole time.

Lena picked up her skirts and ran to the front door, where she found Olive still holding the doorknob in her small hand. On the other side of the door stood Merlin – _again? _Lena wondered – with an elderly man dressed in court robes.

"Can I help you?" Lena asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking. Olive stood behind her older sister in a manner that suggested she was wary of the visitors, and looked to Lena for guidance on what she should do.

Lena, however, was only half-listening as the elderly man explained he was the court physician, his name was Gaius, and he had come to take a look at her father. Lena gave Merlin a surprised look over the physician's shoulder, and she saw the younger man blush and look down. Touched by the gesture, Lena invited both Gaius and Merlin in.

"Lena?" Olive whispered.

"Yes, Livvie?"

"Is… is he going to die?" Olive asked, tilting her head in the direction of where their father lay. Merlin picked up on the little girl's words and listened for Lena's response.

"No," he heard the older girl reply almost immediately. "No, he's not."

"But… but you remember Ivienna's uncle, and he died because he got sick, and one day he just didn't wake up-"

"That is not going to happen here. We don't even know what's wrong," Lena assured her younger sister, although to Merlin it sounded as though she was trying to assure herself of this.

"But what if it does?" Olive's voice was almost inaudible. Merlin glanced over his shoulder at the sisters, the elder of which was on her knees at the younger's level.

"Then… we are going to be okay, Olive. Just like we always have been," Lena promised, running her finger across the tiny bit of freckles Olive had sprinkled across the bridge of her nose. No one else in her family had any real freckles, so Olive's were a mystery. But, as Lena recalled, her mother had loved them, and running her finger across the bridge of Olive's nose was something Bethany had done a lot, starting on the day Olive had been born. Lena wasn't going to let that die with her.

"But after Mother died-"

"Liv, please, just…" Lena sighed tiredly and kissed her sister's forehead. "Stay out here, love. Did you get the water I asked for?"

Olive gestured towards the full bucket of well water, and Lena forced a smile.

"Thank you. Stay out here, _please_."

Olive nodded obediently and Lena rushed back to her father's side. Merlin stood on the outside part of the curtains, as Gaius was on the inside. Lena stopped for a moment and looked up at him, silently thanking him for his kindness to a stranger, and entered the room.

She immediately saw Adam still glued to his spot in the corner, as though he was possessed. Lena stood behind him and placed her hands gently on his shoulders. There was muscle there she didn't remember. She felt a little sad; had she been missing things with Adam? Olive was so innocent, and Lena was focused on keeping that there.

Adam, on the other hand, pretended he was about as deep as a puddle and emotionless, and he hardly ever wanted to talk about girly things like _feelings_ with his older sister. Lena made a mental note to get closer to her brother. He was still young and vulnerable, and not quite a man. Not just yet.

"Have you any idea what is ailing my father?" Lena asked a few moments later. Gaius nodded solemnly at the young girl, inwardly hating his job. Sometimes it was wonderful, as he got to heal and protect, but it was time like these that made it terribly hard. He hated to be the bearer of bad news.

"Yes, child, I'm sorry…"

Lena visibly paled. That couldn't be good.

"Your father, it seems," the physician continued, "has picked up a disease that may come from certain types of tainted river water…"

"Is it curable?" Lena blurted out. She drew back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's alright. Your father… well, there is a cure, but I'm afraid it can't be found within the borders of the kingdom."

Lena had an urge to shove Adam out of the room; she_ really _didn't want him to hear this if it went where she thought it was going.

"So… he's…" Lena couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. "There is not anything that can be done?"

Gaius handed her a bottle of a brownish mixture, and Lena clutched it as though it was her life force.

"You can give him this to ease his passing," Gaius told her, and Adam stared at his feet, no longer able to look at their dying father.

"T-thank you," Lena choked out, even though she didn't really mean it.

"I'm truly sorry," Gaius added quietly as he exited Dyonas and Adam's quarters.

Adam watched intently as Lena took a few steps across the room, opened the window, and vomited onto the grass outside.


	4. The Night's On Fire

_~I can see the heavens, but I still hear the flames calling out my name.~_

**Chapter Three: The Night's On Fire**

Lena found herself standing outside the king's throne room once more, feeling as though she might vomit all over again.

_I bet that would make an even better impression_, Lena thought sardonically. _Since he's probably forgotten all about my first. _This time, however, she was without her siblings, as Adam was back at the house watching after Olive. Before she'd left, Lena had told Olive and Adam to spend as much time as they could with their father, since Lena didn't even know if Dyonas would be alive by the time she arrived home from her meeting with the king.

_Oh, hell, _she thought. _I am going into a meeting with the bloody _king. _Alone_.

With that thought, the doors opened, and she was faced with the throne room again. This time, however, it was not so bright, and Lena could hear the sound of rain pattering on the windows. She caught Merlin's gaze, and had to turn away from his blue, blue eyes. She felt as though they were looking right through her, and she didn't want that. If she preferred to have her own family not see who she really was, then… well, what was a servant boy compared to her family? Even if he had shown them all inexplicable kindness…

"My lord." Lena was curtsying in front of the king before she knew it. This time, she rose without being asked, completely disregarding the fact that the action might not get her into the king's good graces. Her mind was in another world.

"I am sorry to hear about your father." The king's words seemed far away and foreign to Lena's ears, as though he was speaking in tongues.

_No, you're not_.

"He would have made an excellent blacksmith. I was going to give him the job, actually."

_Oh. Maybe you are_.

"He… he may have a chance…" Lena stammered. Her throat was unbelievably dry. "Mightn't he?" Lena's voice nearly reached desperation as she turned to Gaius, who stood as the king's advisor as he always did.

"I would say his chances are low," the physician said solemnly. Of course, it was a lie. Without the cure, Dyonas had no chance. But could he really tell this girl with the pleading green eyes that? Probably not.

"It is still a chance," Lena whispered. "Please, I would be willing to do anything to stay here. Any job I can take – I will take two - whatever I can do to support my brother and sister… I will do it." She took a moment and wondered what she might be agreeing to.

"I will have to give it some thought."

Lena wanted to scream. She needed help _now_. She needed to know whether or not to be out of Camelot by sunrise… this was not okay.

Instead, she nodded. "Thank you."

With that, she was dismissed, and as soon as the heavy doors shut behind her, she ran. Tears blurred her vision, but she sprinted out of the castle, navigating her way through the corridors as best she could. She had to get home _immediately_. As she ran, she was vaguely aware of someone calling out for her, but it wasn't the king, so she disregarded it.

Merlin, who had been left calling Lena's name, felt a small urge to follow her. But she was fast, and he couldn't rightly chase after her.

"What's she going to do, Gaius?" Merlin sighed, hearing his mentor come up behind him.

"I don't truly know, Merlin."

"She has a family. Her brother and sister…"

"I know, and with only her, I fear they will not last long unless I can convince Uther to give her at least two jobs here."

Merlin thought about how he could hardly handle _one_ job – then again, he was a servant to the world's biggest prat, so who could blame him? – and he felt a twinge of sympathy for Lena. But he remembered where sympathy seemed to keep getting him in life, especially when it came to beautiful women…

He let Lena go and continued with his work.

* * *

><p>One good thing came out of Dyonas' illness, Lena decided as she lay on her bed, cuddled up with Olive and Adam. Yes, <em>Adam<em> and _cuddled _were in the same sentence. As tough as he tried to be, he was still a little boy at heart. Perhaps he'd just had to grow up too fast.

_No, that's you_, Lena's conscience reminded her.

_Yeah. As though I forgot._

"Did the king say you could have a job, Lena?" Olive murmured, her head resting on Lena's collarbone. The elder sister couldn't fathom why Olive liked it there – there must have been more comfortable places on her body for Olive to put her head – but the younger girl showed no sign of moving.

"He said he was going to think about it," Adam muttered.

"Were you there? No," Lena snapped. Her voice taking on a softer tone, she began to stroke Olive's hair. "But… Adam is right. I _hope_ he will."

"I think you will get a job," Olive offered. Lena smiled.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because you're pretty. Like Mother," Olive stated. Adam snorted.

"Yes, and we know what being pretty will get her hired for…" He rolled his eyes, and Lena shot him a disapproving glare.

"_That_ will not happen," she informed her brother. "And watch what you say around Olive," she scolded, placing her hand discreetly over Olive's ear. Adam rolled his eyes yet again and turned his head away from his sisters.

"If you don't get a job-" Olive began.

"But I will," Lena interrupted.

"But if you can't… what will we do?"

Lena couldn't answer her sister's question. She didn't know. She supposed she would find something…

"We would cope."

Olive gathered from Lena's broken voice that she shouldn't ask any more questions. All three siblings wanted to see their father, but they had been warned that they could catch whatever he had, and if Lena got sick… well, Adam and Olive would be as good as dead.

That night, after tucking Olive in (no matter the situation, Adam absolutely _refused_ to be tucked in), Lena sat at the table by the small stone fireplace. With her siblings in her bed and, well, with Dyonas' state, Lena doubted sleep was in her future.

Putting her head in her hands, she felt a sense of utter despair. But no, she had to be strong, for Adam and Olive's sake if nothing else.

Suddenly, her spine began to tingle. Lena felt as though someone was in the room with her. She lifted her head up, and saw the room swirling around her. She began to panic. Was she hallucinating? Had she picked up some sort of disease as well? The room started spinning out of control, and she shut her eyes in an attempt to make the sight go away. All she could see was the back of her eyelids. Her body felt as though it was being pulled away from her, and she opened her mouth to cry out, but no sound came from her throat. Lena squeezed her eyes until the feeling had left her. When it finally did, she opened her eyes carefully.

When she did, she found herself in a dark, melancholy castle.

Oh, God. Oh, God, _please_, no.

_Is this a dream? _Lena wondered, running her hands over the stone of the castle walls. _I must have fallen asleep_.

"I can assure you, you are not asleep," came a female voice that sounded like a piece of thin ice cracking under someone's weight. Lena turned around slowly, and saw a raven-haired woman with pale green eyes giving her a glare with such burning intensity Lena felt herself squirm inwardly. Could this woman – real or not – sense her obvious discomfort? If so, she didn't seem to care.

"Then why am I here?" Lena asked warily. "And… who are you?"

"Follow me." Apparently the woman saw no reason to answer Lena's questions. Against her better judgment, Lena found herself following the raven-haired beauty as she had been asked to.

Lena was led through some corridors that were not unlike the ones in Camelot… except these were much darker, and they sent even more chills up and down her spine.

"Why am I here?" Lena repeated. The mystery woman looked over her shoulder at Lena and smirked.

"So many questions…" the woman mused. "All in good time."

Lena hated dead-end conversations, so she reached out and grabbed the woman's forearm.

"Who _are _you?" Lena demanded. Suddenly, she felt her head get flung back against the wall, as though by…

_Magic_.

The word ran in circles around Lena's brain. She reached back and felt something sticky and wet on her hand. _Oh my God…_

"I would advise you to not do that again," the woman told her, a dangerous and frightening warning if there ever was one. All Lena could do was nod, and even that hurt more than she could say. She looked fearfully into the woman's still-glowing eyes.

"My name is Morgana," the woman hissed. There was no other word for how she spoke, Lena thought, turning Morgana's words over in her mind. It was snake-like. And eerie.

And Lena just really, _really_ wanted to get out of there. But clearly, turning and running was no option. So she continued to follow Morgana down the corridors, until they entered a throne room that looked as though a storm had blown through it. Although a thousand and one questions were floating around in Lena's mind, she didn't dare say anything. Blood was still sliding down her neck and onto the collar of her dress, and she couldn't risk anything else.

In the middle of the room, there was a blonde woman lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. For a moment, Lena questioned if the woman was even alive, but the blonde's ears seemed to pick up on Lena and Morgana's entrance.

"Sister," Morgana piped up, "I have brought the girl you requested."

"All right. At least some good has come of this," Morgana's sister spat angrily at what looked like a bubbling cauldron a few feet away from her. She stood up and began to circle Lena.

_Blonde hair, brown eyes, huge bandage wrapped around her head plus multiple other scars… she seems dangerous, _Lena's inner voice informed her.

"She's just as I hoped," the blonde announced, apparently finished with her inspection of Lena.

"Are you going to tell me why I am here?" Lena asked, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.

"You… you will be perfect."

"_What_?" Lena looked at the blonde woman as though she had grown another head.

"Please explain to her our plan, Morgana, I'm not feeling well."

"Yes, Morgause."

_Morgana and Morgause._ For some reason, the phrase sounded grave and foreboding in Lena's mind. She didn't have much time to think about this, however, since Morgana had her in a death-grip by her wrist a moment later. Lena was dragged over to the bubbling cauldron, and watched as Morgana bent down to peer into it.

"Look," Morgana ordered. Lena sucked in as much breath as she could and stared down at the cauldron. What she saw looked like the king's empty throne room.

"It looks like the king's empty throne room," Lena stated. Morgana rolled her eyes, as though the girl was slow.

"Yes, it is now. But I-"

Morgause cleared her throat and gave Morgana a meaningful glance, and Morgana rethought her words.

"_We_ saw a rather interesting spectacle earlier today. Your father… he's not well, is he?"

"Um…" Lena shook her head. "N-no… he is going to die."

Morgana nodded, as though she was expressing sympathy for the girl, which of course she wasn't. "Yes, because the cure can only be found very far away, isn't that right?"

"That is what I was told," Lena said. She tried to make it so that she wasn't expressing any sort of emotion, but somehow she knew she wasn't doing a very good job.

"Well, what a coincidence, because…" Morgana suddenly possessed a small brown bag. "My sister and I happen to have the cure."

It was all Lena could do to stop herself from lunging at Morgana and taking the bag. She swallowed nervously.

"A-and what do you want me to do for it?" Lena was unable to stop her voice from shaking, and felt utterly embarrassed by it. Morgana's lips curled into what some might have considered a smile. Lena, however, did not.

"We think you may be able to help us with a small task," Morgause spoke up. Her hand was pressed to the side of her head.

"I am not sure I would able to help you. You are of the magical persuasion… what could I possibly do?" Lena asked these questions while she was secretly feeling a little violated… they had been spying on her meeting with the king?

"You are in Camelot. You can help us that way." It was the exact sort of answer Lena had been dreading. What Morgana and Morgause were saying implied one thing: treason. The most heinous of crimes in the kingdom in Camelot, next to practicing magic and enchantments… and punishable by death.

"You see – Lena, is it? – we have a plan. There is a man… a man in Camelot… and he hurt my sister badly. Yes, my dear sister… she was nearly killed by him."

Lena hardly bought Morgana's play-the-victim act. She didn't trust either one of these women as far as Olive could throw one of them.

"Again, what do you want me to do?" Lena could see that her words were making Morgana angry, but it seemed as thought she wouldn't do anything more to Lena in front of Morgause.

"We have to get rid of this man. His name is Merlin. He is going to ruin all of the plans that my sister and I have worked to achieve. He already _has _ruined a great number of them."

"We cannot kill him," Morgause interjected. "He may be of use to us in the future."

"He has already made it clear he does not fight with us, Sister," Morgana reminded her. Morgause locked her steely gaze on Lena, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Perhaps she will change that." The note of confidence in Morgause's voice made it sound as though their success was guaranteed with Lena's assistance.

"I…" Lena tried to begin. _Merlin_? The kind physician's assistant with the piercing blue eyes? Get rid of _him_?

"What we need you to do, Lena…" Morgana brushed off Lena's attempts to speak. "Is seduce this man. Any way you wish, really. Then… you must trap him. Trap him somewhere he cannot escape from. Do this with magic. His powers are great, and you must trap him fully to ensure-"

"But I can't!" Lena exploded. "I… I don't even _know_ magic! And if I did… King Uther would _kill_ me! And… and _Merlin_? He's magical? _Him_? He must have tripped seven times in my house alone! I… I can't!"

"You have power deep within you, Lena. Earn Merlin's trust. Get him to teach you magic. Then… when the time is right…"

"Yes, yes, I know, I must trap him! But… but I _can't_. There's just no way."

"Of course you can," Morgause told her. "It is simple." Lena noticed a wistful look in Morgause's eye. "You would be surprised how simple it is to wrap a man around your finger…"

"Oh," Lena whispered, almost inaudibly.

"The seduction is just an added bonus, really." Morgana grinned. "Break his heart while you're at it. But it will make the second part of your job easier in the long run."

"You're… you're sick," Lena cried, backing away. "So… I'm just going to leave now…" As she approached the doorway, Lena found there was some sort of invisible shield blocking her exit. She groaned and hit her fists against the barrier, leaning on it in defeat. She turned back around, embarrassed and scared.

"Now, Lena." Morgana held the brown bag, which held the cure for Dyonas, in front of Lena's face. It was tantalizingly close… "You must do this for us, and we will help you. Do we have a deal?"

"Wait a minute." Lena held up her hand. "If you want to take down Camelot – which I am assuming you do – why not kill Prince Arthur and, er, go for the gold, as they say?" Surely they wouldn't ask a poor ex-farm girl to seduce a prince. There were ladies for that… ladies with magic and no proper conscience.

"No, no, we cannot do that," Morgause said. Lena raised both her eyebrows, but didn't ask why they couldn't.

"Are you going to help us or not?" Morgana snapped. Lena sighed. She weighed her options. Seduce, trap, and possibly kill a man she had no connection to whatsoever… or let her father die. And if her father died, so would Adam and Olive.

The choice was clear. It was what she had to do.

"I… I accept."

Perhaps, in his prediction of what Lena's job would be in order to support them, Adam hadn't been so far off after all.


	5. But It's Better If You Do

**A/N: Not seeing a lot of reviews here... what's up with that? Is it because it's not getting read? Or are you just not enjoying it? If you're not, can you tell me WHY? It means the world to me as a writer.**

_~Who said the truth's gonna save you when the truth could be dangerous?~_

**Chapter Four: But It's Better If You Do**

Lena's eyes were shut tightly as the air swirled around her; the art of teleportation was taking a serious toll on her body. When she opened her eyes, she was back in her family's house. She looked down at the bag of herbs in her hand, praying it was still there. When she found it was, she quickly threw on her cloak and ran out the door.

She had to make up a lie in her head. How would she explain having the herbs? Finally, she came up with something. She could mention picking up some herbs during her family's journey to Camelot, and then say she forgot about them. She could ask the physician if perhaps any of the herbs would help her father…

It made her seem a bit slow and forgetful, but it was a solid, somewhat-well- fabricated lie. And it would save her father. That was all that mattered.

Oh. And then there was the matter of seducing Merlin. She was still unsure of how she was supposed to do that, and didn't even know if she _could_… but she had agreed to it to help her father. And she couldn't go back on her word, not with those witches looming over her head like a storm cloud. Morgana had nearly given her a concussion just for asking questions; what would they do to her if she double-crossed them? No, it just wasn't an option.

So much was coming at her at once. She was surprised she didn't have to remind herself how to breathe.

After gaining access inside the castle (she had gotten there just before Uther's set curfew), she took a couple of wrong turns before finally ending up outside the court physician's chambers. Her legs ached terribly; she hadn't remembered so many stairs in the castle before.

"Excuse me?" Lena rapped on the door. "Mister Gaius? Please, I-"

The door swung open to reveal not Gaius, but his charge instead.

"Merlin," Lena breathed. "Is… Is Gaius…" she tried to catch her breath. Merlin just ushered her inside and Lena quickly spotted Gaius standing over some boiling tubes of multi-colored liquids.

"Excuse me, sir…"

Lena saw Gaius' face fall as he saw the hopeful look in her eyes. She knew he must think she was delusional, since he had already told her nothing could be done.

"I… I can't believe I forgot about this…" She feigned embarrassment. "When my family was traveling, I picked up some herbs, and I wonder… might they be what my father needs? We came from very far away; perhaps there is something that will help my father in here?" Lena asked. The look on Gaius' face told her that he thought otherwise, but he looked in the bag anyway.

Inside of the sack were vials of various herbs, none of which Lena could name just by looking at. But she knew they would help Dyonas. They _had_ to.

She watched as a look of surprise came over Gaius' face, and she nearly beamed.

"Yes… this is just what is needed. You say you picked up all of these in the forest?" From his raised eyebrow (which was a bit too high for Lena's liking), it was obvious he didn't think she'd found them.

"Yes, while we were traveling." Lena didn't hesitate and looked the physician right in the eye. She felt her confidence growing little by little. If saving her father meant a little seduction and lying, well, it wasn't too bad a price to pay, she supposed. Her siblings going hungry and – dare she think it – _dying_ seemed a much worse fate.

"Do you think you can help him? Please, sir," Lena pleaded.

"With these herbs, I can. I'll have to work quickly, though."

Tears welled up in Lena's eyes. _We will be okay._

"Thank you, sir, thank you so much!" Her voice broke from the pure joy. She looked back at Merlin, her smile lighting up the room. The blue-eyed boy smiled back at her, and for a moment she felt a pang of regret. _Seduce him_… just _how_ was she meant to do _that_?

"You should go back home," Gaius suggested. "It'll be done by morning." Lena smiled and laughed, wiping the tears that hadn't even fallen yet. She didn't say another word as she turned and left.

As soon as Lena was out of the room, Gaius turned to his ward.

"Merlin, there's something not right about this. That girl had all the herbs I need, and they are all measured out perfectly! You need to watch that one."

Merlin muttered something under his breath about how he shouldn't have to keep watch on every suspicious person that came into Camelot, but Gaius ignored it. He was almost certain _something _magical was going on… he could feel it. And if Lena was choosing to ignore the harshest law in Camelot, well, that was her choice.

Perhaps she wasn't choosing correctly, but still… it was her choice.

* * *

><p>Lena covered the distance from the physician's chambers to her house in record time, and when she arrived at home, Olive was waiting for her by the door.<p>

"Where did you go?" the young girl asked, clearly distraught. "You left without telling us!"

"Olive, I'm sorry, but I found something to help-"

"Why did you leave?" a surly Adam asked, coming out of the darkness and into the light of the lantern Lena held. He squinted a bit as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

"I… I swear I'll explain it in the morning," Lena promised. She suddenly felt very tired. Adam glared at her and Olive followed him back to bed like an obedient puppy.

Lena, who was exhausted and still with more questions, decided she would have to find a way to meet with Morgana and Morgause again. She had agreed to something blindly; and for that, she realized, she was a fool.

"Oh, God, what do I do?" she asked herself.

Night came and went, and Lena barely slept. As soon as the sun had risen, she was waiting by her door. Adam joined her shortly.

"What are you doing?" he demanded upon seeing her.

"You… Adam…"

"Why are you being like this, Lena? Why are you sneaking around all of a sudden?"

Her brother had so many questions, and Lena felt like she should be asking herself the very same things.

"I… I am not _sneaking around_, Adam. But I… you have to trust me. Do you want to help our father?"

Adam opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again.

"Well. Trust me, okay? I-" As Lena looked for a way to justify what she was doing, there was a knock on the door. She jumped a little, and Adam gave her a look of disbelief.

"What the hell, Lena?"

"_Adam_!" Lena shouted. "You will _not_ say things like that!" Lena ran for the door and opened it quickly to reveal Merlin.

"Oh… Merlin." _It is too bad I have to trap you in my own web of lies,_ she thought. _You seem nice_. He gave her the softest of smiles and slipped her a vial.

"The-"

"-Cure for my father. Thank you. Um… would you like to come in?" she asked.

"I, um, still have some errands to run," Merlin said, scratching the non-existent itch on the back of his neck.

"Oh. Okay. Well… then I'll see you around."

"Yeah… um, Gaius said to give that to your father twice a day. With food."

Lena wasn't sure if they would _have _enough food for that. And Merlin saw the uncertainty in her eyes. It didn't take a lot to guess why.

"Thank you for everything. I won't keep you." She gave him one last meaningful look, and shut the door. Her problems seemed over for the rest of the world, but she knew that the worst was yet to come.

The thing was, she was the only one who knew it.

That night, Lena was woken up by a sound coming from outside. She slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Olive and Adam, and crept around to the front of the house. Peering out the window, she saw a figure by her doorstep. She looked for something to defend herself with, but saw nothing she could use.

Surprisingly, though, whoever was out there didn't seem interested in coming inside. They left something on her doorstep and snuck back into the night.

Lena counted to one hundred and then back down to one, just in case the person was setting some sort of trap. Finally, she opened the door, and saw a basket of food sitting on the front steps.

She hadn't missed the tell-tale red neckerchief in the darkness, though.

The next morning, there was another knock on the door. Olive and Adam were eating (now that there was plenty of food for at least two weeks) while Lena was in the back with her father, helping him eat and take his medicine.

"Lena!" Adam called.

"One minute!" she yelled back.

"Go see what he wants," her father said hoarsely. "I'll be fine for two minutes."

Lena nodded and brushed her hands on her apron.

"What is – oh." Lena saw two knights – _knights_ – at her door. "Can I help you?" _Don't let them see you're nervous_, she reminded herself.

"Prince Arthur has requested your presence," answered the one with curly golden-brown hair and the slightest beard. He seemed very formal and orderly…

"What he said," grunted the other. Huh. And then there was him… Lena had to admit, neither were bad-looking in the least. The second one had longer, darker brown hair, and a scruffy look about him.

"May I ask what about?" Lena asked, giving Adam a look that said _watch our father while I'm _gone. Her brother nodded. "And why am I seeing the prince? Aren't I to report to the king?"

"The king is unavailable, and your living arrangements in Camelot have to be discussed," the formal knight answered.

"Looks like you're stuck with the princess, then," the other one added with a wink. Lena smiled softly and followed the knights outside.

"Well, then. May I ask your names?"

"Sir Leon of Camelot," came the answer of the more professional knight.

"I think she gathered the 'of Camelot' bit, mate. Sir Gwaine, my lady-" He picked up her hand and kissed it briefly, "-of Camelot." He grinned at her. She smiled back.

"So, why the escort to the palace?" she asked. Lena saw the townspeople's stares, and caught some of their whispers. What was she doing with two knights in the middle of broad daylight? She was not being arrested, for then she would surely be restrained.

"Full of questions, aren't you, sweetheart?" Sir Gwaine chuckled.

"Well, I certainly seem to be going to the palace a lot, so I know my way… is there a problem?" Lena tried to keep worry from creeping into her voice.

"It was simply the prince's order," Sir Leon explained. Lena gave a silent "oh" and nodded. Sir Leon and the woman he was escorting said nothing else during the walk to the castle; rather they listened to Gwaine chatter on about women, alcohol, taxes, alcohol, knighthood, alcohol, and occasionally his talk got to the topic of alcohol. He made Lena laugh, and her mind toyed with the idea of finding out if other knights of Camelot were as amusing as this one…

Oh, right. She had Merlin to go after.

Once inside the castle, the knights led her to the throne room, although she knew the way already. They opened the door for her and she curtsied briefly (Ivienna had taught her how to a while back on their old farm) and walked in quietly, her bare feet barely making a sound on the cold floor.

Lena cleared her throat quietly, as Arthur's back was turned to her. "Lena." Arthur was standing by his father's throne, one hand resting on the right arm of the chair.

"Hello, Sire." In all honesty, she didn't quite know how to address him (Ivienna hadn't taught her _everything_), but she figured "Sire" was a safe bet. "I assume you summoned me here to discuss my father's situation?" she asked. Arthur nodded slowly.

"Yes… he's recovered?"

"He is recover_ing_, Sire. I have no knowledge of when he will be one hundred percent cured of his illness, as the physician says he was on the brink of death, but-" Lena realized she was rambling, and closed her mouth. She collected her thoughts quickly, and spoke again. "Give it a day or two, and he will be in working condition, I have been told."

"What about you?"

"Me, Sire?"

"You plan to work here as well?"

"Oh, well, um, yes. I must admit to you, My Lord," Lena began, trying a different title, "I am not well-trained in palace duties. But I am a quick learner, and I will accept whatever tasks you may be able to give me."

"Well, we can find something for you, I'm sure."

Lena wasn't thrilled to get his answer. Sure, it meant her family would not go hungry, but still… there were other kingdoms, right? They could move. Lena had no reservations about palace jobs, but her _other_ job – that was the one she was dreading. Still, she had the feeling that no matter where she tried to go, Morgana and her sister would find her, and demand she come back and… do her job, as it were.

"Thank you, Sire. This means a lot to me," Lena said, carefully executing another curtsy. Was she overdoing it? She wished she wouldn't get so flustered in front of royalty… then again, didn't everyone?

"Yes, well-" Arthur cleared his throat. "You're dismissed."

Lena didn't bother with another curtsy; she felt her previous one would suffice. She turned and left the room she'd become far too accustomed with, on her way back to her house. The knights that had escorted her to the palace were no where to be found, and it was just as well. She had to make a visit to some scheming witches. Now how was she to get to them?


	6. Fleeting Hope As We Depart

**A/N: More reviews does equal more chapters FASTER...**

_~The truth never set me free so I'll do it myself~_

**Chapter 5: Fleeting Hope As We Depart**

As it turned out, Lena didn't have to worry about figuring out how to get to Morgana and Morgause – _they_ were going to get _her_.

As soon as she had stepped into her house, she felt the same strange sensation that she had the first time she'd been taken by the sorceresses. She was a little concerned to find that her body was getting more and more used to it. Perhaps the sisters had been right. Maybe, deep down, there was some sort of magic in her… she wanted to deny it for as long as she could, though.

Once again in the miserably familiar fortress, Lena began to try to memorize the hallways. She heard voices coming from farther down the corridor, so she walked in that direction. Without giving those inside any warning as to her arrival, she flung open the large doors to the room that she had targeted.

"I want to know how you expect me to complete the task you've given me," Lena demanded. "Because to be honest, I have absolutely no idea how I can."

The raven haired witch smirked from where she stood next to her sister, who was seated on a beautiful bejeweled throne.

"It is not often we find someone with such raw power. It's untamed, but your potential is wonderful. Well, to explain how to start, first you must have Merlin reveal his own powers to you."

"And just how do I do that?" Lena spat, her temper flaring. Just the sight of the manipulative sisters made her angry.

"Put yourself in a place of peril," the blonde witch instructed. "He will not hesitate when it comes to a damsel in distress."

"You are both mad," Lena hissed. "I'm not risking myself to-"

Lena's words were cut off as she felt Morgana's hand wrap around her slender throat and pin her against the wall with incredible speed. There was a sickening _crack _as Lena's head made contact with the stone wall.

"We helped you," Morgana sneered. "Now you must help us. Your father is cured and your siblings will survive. If you want it to stay that way, I suggest you do what we ask of you."

The fur on the witch's fluffy white coat brushed against Lena's forearms and chest. She tried desperately to get air, and deep moss-colored eyes met pale green ones as Lena felt she was being stared straight through. It was terribly unnerving. After a second or two more, Lena began to feel lightheaded. Black spots appeared in front of her eyes, and she heard a voice call out.

"Enough, Sister. Let her go," Morgause commanded. Lena was released, and she gasped for oxygen as she slumped to the floor, for her legs could not support her.

"I… I suppose I have… no choice," Lena panted. "Fine. I have some conditions."

"You are in no place to ask for conditions!" Morgana snarled.

"And yet, I have them." Yet again, Lena was testing how far they would allow her words to go. Neither sister said anything, so she continued. "No one can find out about this, especially not my family." Lena knew that, even though it had saved her father, a job like this would be – in a word – disgraceful.

"Then the only way they will find out is if you tell them yourself." Morgause nodded towards her, and Lena decided that, even though it was not the promise she was looking for, she liked the blonde witch better. All the other one did was threaten her. Speaking of which…

"My second condition is that I may not be struck, _choked_… okay, on second thought, there will be no form of physical abuse that you may use upon me to get me to do your bidding. The third time either of you does so-" Lena looked pointedly at Morgana, who pretended not to notice this, "I will refuse to cooperate. For now I will follow your orders for this task, but if my conditions are not met, then… I will work as I wish. And there's no telling what I might do then."

Lena could see that she was driving Morgana up the wall, but it was Morgana's own fault for being so forceful.

"Fine. Your conditions will be met," Morgana said through gritted teeth. Lena made sure her expression remained neutral, but even with this promise, she felt sick to her stomach.

Reaching behind her throne, the dark-haired witch threw Lena a mass of green fabric. It matched her eyes perfectly, and as Lena held up what she discovered was a dress to her body, she saw that it would fit her wonderfully, even though it was a bit low-cut. She blushed and re-folded the dress.

"Thank you," she muttered reluctantly. It was rather plain, but still nicer than what Lena owned. _If it was meant to help me complete my task,_ Lena thought, _it might just do the job _for_ me._

"If you are successful, you will be rewarded handsomely," Morgana grinned sickeningly.

"I – I will do my best," Lena promised. Another smirk from Morgana, and that was the last Lena saw of the witches before she found herself back in her own home.

"It's a good job you're back," came Dyonas' gruff voice from behind her. She gasped. Had he seen her entrance? "Olive was looking for you." Well, if he had seen her, he wasn't saying anything… so Lena could only assume he hadn't noticed.

"Lena!" Olive came running to her sister. "What did the prince say? Did you get a job?"

"Um, yes, I did." Lena forced a smile.

"What's that?" Dyonas inquired.

"What?"

"That, Lena. In your hand." Lena looked down at the green dress.

"Oh. That. Well, the, um, prince said I couldn't work in such clothes around nobles," Lena said, gesturing to her dress that had turned a dingy brown color. She'd had it for so long, she couldn't even remember what the original fabric looked like. "So he gave me this."

"He just gave it to you?" Dyonas asked. Notes of doubt rang clear and high in his voice.

"Well, it was for work," Lena said defensively, raising her chin. "You're getting the blacksmith shop so you can work, aren't you?"

"Right. Well, Lena, speaking of that, could you go and look at it for me? You know, to make sure it's in good condition and see how big it is. Then come back and tell me. I have to be sure I can begin work tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Father, you're still much too-"

"Do as I ask of you, Lena," Dyonas ordered in a finalizing tone that told Lena it was pointless to argue.

"Yes, Father," Lena sighed, leaving obediently. She knew she couldn't change his mind; he was stubborn as a mule.

* * *

><p>The blacksmith shop had been bare for a while, and Lena coughed as some dust rose from the ground. Suddenly, she heard someone moving, and she froze. Who could be in the shop?<p>

"Hello?" Lena called out nervously.

"Oh, hello. I didn't think anyone would come in here." A dark-skinned girl with large brown eyes, curly black hair, and a sweet smile stepped out of the shadows and into Lena's line of vision. Lena remembered her as the woman she had seen staring at the prince in the throne room her first day in Camelot.

"I'm Lena; my father asked me to come take a look at this place. Starting tomorrow, he's working here," Lena explained.

"Oh, yes, I heard about him. I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen. My father was the old blacksmith, and after him we had a few temporary ones, but your father is the first real one since then. I was just coming in to make sure anything of mine that was in here got taken out before someone came in… not that I think you would take it, because you don't look like that kind of person. I mean, I just wanted to make sure it wouldn't be in your father's way…" Gwen blushed. Lena's eyes fell to a silk lavender scarf in the other girl's hand, which was then tucked into the pocket of Gwen's pink dress.

"Oh." Lena wished she could have found a more intelligent response. From the look on Gwen's face, Lena could only assume something bad had happened to her own father, for it was the look Lena had found herself wearing when Dyonas was sick.

"Excuse me for this, but… wasn't your father ill just a few days ago?" Gwen inquired as Lena opened the door for them both to leave. "I'm sorry for asking, but the physician's ward told me about it the other day-"

"Merlin?" Lena interrupted.

"Yes. Do you know him?"

"Well, we've met a few times, and he's been very kind to me and my family."

"Oh, that's just like him," Gwen gushed. "He can't help but be kind to people, even strangers."

Lena smiled. "Really?" She'd hit the jackpot of Merlin-information, it seemed. _Yes_. "I hope to see him more when I come to work at the palace tomorrow."

"I'm sure you will. He works for the prince, you know. Where are you working?"

"Um, I don't know. I would assume kitchens, since I happened to hear that it is where most new workers go…"

"Then you'll see him when he goes to get the prince's meals," Gwen informed her.

Lena's mission was making more and more sense to her. Go after a skilled sorcerer _and _someone close to the prince. Clearly there was far more to this Merlin than she had thought. And Gwen seemed compassionate enough, so if she knew about Lena's feigned "feelings" for Merlin, maybe she'd help her.

"Oh, well, we've only seen each other once or twice, as I said, but still, I… I can't help but feel drawn to him."

Gwen smiled softly at her. "Believe me, I know the feeling. I was after him for weeks when we first met."

"But you changed your mind?" Lena asked carefully. The _very_ last thing she needed was competition.

"Oh, yes." Gwen looked down and blushed. "Eventually, I realized he just… wasn't the man for me."

Lena laughed, hoping to encourage Gwen to be a bit more comfortable with her. "Well, if you find that man, I wish you luck." Lena watched Gwen's reaction closely. Her easy smile disappeared, and there was a wistful look in her eye. _Brilliant_, Lena thought.

"And good luck to you with yours," Gwen said, apparently recovered from her little episode. A _clang _behind the two women made Lena jump. She turned around and saw some men working on some sort of stone building a distance away, but they were still quite loud.

"So, what exactly is going on around here – I mean, it seems like everywhere I turn, there's some sort of construction going on," Lena said.

"Reconstruction, actually," Gwen replied solemnly.

"Reconstruction from what?" Lena asked warily. Was this something she should be concerned about, what with her younger siblings and all?

"The kingdom was attacked a few months ago," Gwen revealed. "It was horrible."

"I will not ask you to go in to detail," Lena said hastily. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm surprised you didn't ask someone sooner," Gwen mentioned.

"I have never been in a real city before, so I didn't know if this sort of thing is normal… and my mind has almost always been elsewhere," Lena admitted.

"Oh, of course." Gwen nodded. "Well, this is my house." It was nicer than most, Lena noticed. Not by much, but still… Lena wondered about it. Did everyone in Camelot some sort of hidden secret?

"It was nice meeting you." Lena smiled sincerely. Gwen was truly kind, and it wouldn't hurt to have a female friend here.

"You as well. I hope to see you often."

"I'm sure you will." With a little wave good-bye, Lena left.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting.

* * *

><p>After getting directions from an overly eager delivery boy, Lena found her way to the kitchens just in time to start working. Since she was new and not yet trusted, she couldn't actually handle the food; instead she was to wait until the royals' dishes returned, and then wash them in the scullery with a few other young women. She was content waiting with the other girls in the kitchen (where the smells made her mouth water) and listening to their conversations.<p>

"…All I'm saying, Charlotte, is that if a man is going to court you, he must do it _properly_," a blue-eyed red-haired girl standing next to Lena named Koureena said. Koureena's hair had become terribly frizzy from all the moisture in the air, and she was constantly trying to smooth it down.

"But what if he doesn't have the means to?" Charlotte asked. She was a soft-spoken little thing, with mousy brown hair and amber eyes.

"Listen, we are not saying he has to woo you with material things," Koureena's twin sister Kayla explained. "It just would be nice if Brian tried a little harder to… well you know! He should come 'round every day and compliment you, bring you flowers out of the blue, little things."

"Please," scoffed a very tall blonde named Adella who seemed to be the leader of the girls. She was on Lena's other side. "What man is ever going to learn what women want? What do you think… um, Alexia?" Adella tried.

"Lena, actually. And I think men understand us about as much as we understand them," Lena remarked. Koureena and Kayla giggled; both had the same sound to their laughs.

"I think you're right about that," Adella said with a grin. "So what about you? Any special man in your life?"

"Oh, please, I've just gotten here," Lena laughed.

"What about back home?" Charlotte was eager to know. "I've never been outside the kingdom; are things very different?"

"What she means is, are the _men_ very different?" Kayla told Lena with an eye roll towards Charlotte, who frowned.

_Is this really all these girls talk about_? Lena wondered.

"Um, well, not really, as far as I can tell. I never really had any sort of relationship with the boys where I came from; there weren't many to choose from. And the ones that were there were sort of… ehhh."

"Then I think you will enjoy it here," piped up a girl with wavy brown hair and blue eyes.

"That's Eliot," Adella said, her eyes wide as she looked at the shy girl, who shrunk back. "She… she really doesn't talk much."

Everyone was quiet for a minute; all the girls (albeit Lena) were in shock from Eliot's sudden desire to talk. Then they saw the dishes start to arrive, and Koureena smiled good-naturedly at Lena as they made their way to the scullery.

"You've a strong stomach, yeah?" Koureena asked quickly.

"Uh…"

"I hope you do," Eliot said quietly. She smiled shyly up at Lena, and Lena guessed she had to be the youngest... or perhaps she was just the most timid. She seemed to be the pet, for all the girls were very soft towards her.

As they entered the scullery, Lena understood Koureena's question. She felt as though she might lose her breakfast at the horrible smell in the air. She swayed a little; the fumes were making her dizzy.

"Whoa, whoa!" Adella grabbed Lena's shoulders, and Lena flushed. She felt extremely embarrassed.

"It's okay, Lena. This happens all the time," Charlotte assured her, patting her hand. "You will get used to it eventually."

The walls were covered in mildew and the air around them was damp. _No wonder Koureena's hair is so frizzy all the time, _Lena thought. She needed something to distract her from this.

"H-how do you… _do_ this?" Lena choked on her words.

"You will get used to it," Charlotte repeated.

"The first time is always the hardest," Kayla told her. "It does get easier."

For Lena, the day didn't get much better. She was in hot lye-filled water up to her elbows for most of the morning, and just after she and the girls had eaten, they had to do the dishes from lunch, and then dinner.

Their house had never seemed so inviting. Lena collapsed into her bed as soon as she got inside.

"Lena?" Olive's voice came from across the house.

Lena could only groan.

"…I thought you were supposed to wear that green dress to work." Olive's voice was suddenly closer.

Lena laughed into the mattress. "How you get here so fast, I'll never know. And aren't you observant?"

Lena felt her sister plop onto the mattress beside her. "How come you're not wearing it?" she wanted to know.

"Because… I wasn't actually around the nobles today. I was in the kitchens." There was no way Lena was going to divulge what the scullery was like to her little sister.

"Oh. Well, did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, Liv, I am just happy to be home," Lena told her, sitting up a little.

_Home_.

Was this home? Lena felt like the farm was still home. But the farm didn't really exist anymore. _I was far more cut out for that sort of labor,_ she thought. She liked moving around; staying in one place while working was irritating her.

Well, regardless of the work, Lena just wasn't sure what was home.

She just knew she wanted one.


	7. Not The Hunter, Not The Marked

**A/N: I'm really enjoying the feedback! Seeing what you guys have to say - er, type - about the story really makes it worth it! And obviously, there's a billion things that could happen to Lena and Merlin here... there's no definite ending... so I love seeing guessing about what might happen. :) Thanks to all those who reviewed.**

_~Chorus, romance says goodnight, close your eyes and I'll close mine.~_

**Chapter Six: Not The Hunter, Not The Marked**

It was Lena's second day at work, and she didn't feel like night had ever come and gone so quickly. She realized, as she got dressed, that she hadn't seen Merlin at all the previous day.

_Well, of course not, Lena, you were in the scullery. And it looks like you'll be there for a while._

She smiled to herself. The scullery was bad, but the girls that worked with her certainly weren't. And they had said she would get used to the smell and feel of it as time went on. Maybe Morgana and Morgause would forget about her.

She shoved the green dress they'd given her into a bag, just in case… she really _did _want to look nice if she had to be in front of blue bloods.

As she entered the castle, she saw Guinevere come running up to her.

"Lena!" Gwen called.

"Gwen, what is it?" Lena frowned as she saw the distraught expression on Gwen's face.

"A whole lot of the maids have gotten sick, and we're having trouble keeping the castle in order, what with all the refugees from outer villages…"

Lena zoned out for a second. No wonder the city had seemed so crowded. _You're so naïve, _Lena chastised herself. What in the world had happened to this kingdom?

"…So the cleaning has gotten really hard, and since we're not sure how the maids got sick, well… do you think you could help?"

Lena wasn't an idiot. She was able to put two and two together and come up with four… clearly this was the work of Morgana and Morgause. A sudden sickness that made it so Lena had to work in the castle, where she would, as Gwen had mentioned, undoubtedly run into Merlin? Surely it was no coincidence.

"Of course I can," Lena nodded. Gwen sighed in relief.

"Thank you, Lena."

"Oh, and Gwen? Um…" Lena pulled her green dress out of her bag. "I – I haven't ever tied a dress like this, and I thought I was going to be in the scullery today, you know, and not in front of important people… so, um, could you help me?"

Gwen smiled kindly at her. "Sure." Lena thanked her and slipped into the nearest supply closet. When she had changed, she ushered Gwen in to help her lace up the front and back of her dress.

"You've really never worn anything like this?" Gwen asked as she looked over her work.

"No. Why, does it not look okay?" Lena self-consciously looked over herself as best she could.

"Oh, it's fine, don't worry. It's just this is a pretty standard dress... either way, it looks nice on you."

Lena exhaled sharply. "Sorry, this is sort of nerve-wracking for me. So much has happened in the last couple of days, I…" Lena shook her head and tried to smile. "Sorry. Just, er, never mind. We should probably go."

"…Right."

"So, where should I begin?" Lena asked, smoothing down her hair, which she knew had to be a little messed up from changing so quickly.

"Do you think you can fully clean five rooms by midday? Go two flights up, take a left, and on the right side, if you can, try to do those rooms. I'll meet you back here for our lunch break." Gwen smiled. "Good luck!" she chirped.

To Lena, it didn't seem like Guinevere saw her glass as half empty _or _half full, instead, it was overflowing.

* * *

><p>As she made her way up the flights of stairs that led to the rooms she was supposed to clean, Lena felt oddly confident. Sure, she was just a serving girl carrying a mop and broom, but…<p>

Oy. Maybe the dress had been charmed. She decided to just pay attention to the first part, since that was the more logical bit of what she'd been thinking.

She turned the corner, and whether by fate, coincidence, or the work of two twisted sisters, Lena saw Merlin coming out of one of the rooms on the left side. She managed to smile at him.

"Merlin. How've you been?" she asked. He smiled back at her, and she felt a little bit of warmth deep in her stomach.

_Anatomy, I would like it if you stopped that._

"Fine. How's your father?"

"Better - he started work today. The physician must be a miracle worker; my father actually seems better now than he was before." Lena rested her hand on Merlin's forearm. "Thank you," she said, lowering her voice as she added, "for everything."

"It's, um, nothing really." Merlin's cheeks flushed, and Lena's smile grew slightly.

"Well, either way, I am very grateful. I will see you later." She took her hand off of his arm, running the very tips of her fingers quickly on his bare skin, for the sleeves of his blue shirt were rolled up above his elbows.

Merlin had to look after her for a minute as she walked off.

Lena grinned to herself. Ivienna had taught her how to do that when they were fifteen-years-old.

"Lena!" Merlin called out. She paused, and turned around slowly.

"Yes?"

"Um…" Merlin looked nervous. "After work, um, how about I walk you home?"

Lena smiled sweetly. "I'd like that." It would be the perfect opportunity to put herself in potential danger, which, if all went well, Merlin would rescue her from, using his powers.

"Great. I'll, um, meet you in the courtyard around sunset?"

"Sounds good. See you then." Lena turned her back to him once again, making sure her hips swayed ever-so-slightly as she walked into the first room on the right side of the corridor. She glanced discreetly over her shoulder and saw Merlin's eyes glued to her. The minute he caught her gaze, he blushed fiercely and left quickly. Once she had closed the door behind her, Lena laughed.

Ivienna would be proud.

* * *

><p>Lena had to rush the last one, but she managed to finish all five rooms by midday. She hurried to the supply closet where Gwen was waiting for her. The two women went down to the residential area, and Gwen offered to have Lena at her house for lunch.<p>

"You know, if you hadn't told me otherwise, I would think you and Merlin were good together," Lena remarked. "You're both so kind to people you hardly know." Gwen only smiled, and Lena began to look around a little. "You have a beautiful home."

"Thank you." Lena didn't mention that, living alone, there was no way a castle maid could afford it. Clearly, the glances she'd noticed between Gwen and the prince were more significant than she'd first thought. Once she got to know Gwen a little better, Lena decided she would ask her about it. It seemed as though there was clearly something between them; they just didn't flaunt it.

_Well, how could they, with the king probably breathing down the prince's neck?_ Lena considered.

"So I was working today, and I heard some of the conversation of a few young women. What… what happened here that caused so much damage?" Lena sighed, realizing what she was asking. "What I mean is… oh, God, I am so sorry if it feels like I am prying, and if you don't want to answer it is okay…"

"No, it's – it's fine." A dismal look came over Gwen's face. "It was only a month ago. I assume you've heard tales of the Lady Morgana?"

Lena's eyes widened. Why did she feel like she knew how this story went already?

"Um… yes," she breathed uncertainly.

"Well, she used to live here… in the castle. She was the king's ward. I was her maidservant."

Lena was too frozen with shock to speak.

"A month ago, she and her sister – half sister – Morgause declared war on the kingdom. Their army was immortal… so many people died." It was clearly hard for Gwen to talk about, but Lena wanted – no, she _needed _to know more. How dangerous were here new-found "bosses", and should she fear them?

"Who ended it?" Lena urged Gwen on.

"The prince," Gwen nearly whispered.

"H-how do you kill an immortal army?" Lena asked shakily, biting her lip. Gwen sighed.

"I don't know."

"Wow." It was all Lena could say. "Does... does that sort of thing happen a lot here?"

Lena wasn't comforted by the look on Gwen's face.

"More than you might think."

After that, Lena got them off the topic of the destruction of the city, and they took a little time to finish lunch before they had to go back to work. The whole time, Lena was inwardly panicking. Clearly she'd underestimated the power of her opponents. Anyone that could do what they did to the whole kingdom would not hesitate to hurt her and her family.

Lena and Gwen went back to the castle, where Gwen went to work in the kitchens. Lena was assigned to run and get water, blankets, and whatever food she could find for the refugees. Once they were strong enough, they could help with the reconstruction of the city. Lena found that, to her enjoyment, Koureena and Kayla, the twin dishwashers she'd worked with, were running the errands with her. They made the day pass a little more quickly for Lena.

At last, it was sunset. Lena checked her reflection one last time, and when she was satisfied with her appearance for Merlin, she went out to the courtyard to wait for him. He came rushing out a few minutes later, smiling when he saw her waiting.

"Sorry I'm late, how long have you been here?"

"Not long at all, it's fine," Lena assured him. She smiled softly and gestured to the path, where many of the other workers were heading for their homes. "Shall we?"

"Sure," Merlin grinned.

"I have to thank you for offering to walk home with me. It's nice to have some company," Lena said, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"It's nothing." They were quiet for a minute.

"So, your job must be exciting…" Lena began.

"What, working for the prince? No, it's not as great as you might think," Merlin told her. "He's really just a royal pain."

"Really?" Lena had a hard time believing that. She'd passed by the throne room that afternoon, and the conversation she'd heard involving the prince had astounded her.

_Arthur was having a row with his father, and even though she knew it was wrong, Lena hadn't been able to resist eavesdropping. She hid behind a pillar as she listened to the argument play out in a deserted corridor._

_"I cannot believe you promised them a house in the city!" the K__ing growled. "When we have so many people here already with no where to go!"_

_"Father, soon their houses will be rebuilt, and they can return home. Those from the outlying villages haven't suffered too many damages, and they'll be able to go back-"_

_"There are still damages to be fixed _here_!" __In a softer voice, Uther continued, "I know you want to help them, but sometimes taking people in when you really shouldn't gets to be worse as it goes along."_

_"The girl's father knows a trade; one he can teach his son. We need a blacksmith. The two girls will be able to help in the castle. One already is, and she's not doing a bad job."_

The fact that the prince – who, for some reason, she felt didn't like her – was defending her family had shocked Lena. And Merlin said he was a pain?

"Well…" Merlin seemed to be re-thinking his description of Arthur. "When he's asleep or eating, he's okay."

Lena laughed. "You make him sound so charming."

"You don't know the half of it," Merlin chuckled. His laugh died in his throat as he looked at Lena, and saw the setting sun behind her. The golden light shone on her hair and surrounded her whole frame, making her look almost ethereal.

Seeing Merlin's eyes on her with his gaze so focused, Lena nervously rubbed down the back of her hair, making sure none of it was sticking up some place she couldn't see. After another second or two, he stopped looking at her, and she wondered what had caught his attention.

"So, um, how's your family settling in?" Merlin asked, desperately willing the blood that rushed upwards to his face back down.

"My sister Olive's enjoying the city a lot. During lunch I saw her with some other kids her age; that's something we didn't have before. All the kids had already grown up, and they were all my age."

"What about your brother?"

Lena was surprised. She hadn't expected Merlin to remember she had a brother.

"Adam? Well, he's discovered the wonders of girls _his _age," Lena said, shaking her head fondly and smiling. "I saw him running around with another boy, which is good, because…" Lena stopped herself from saying anything else. Why was she telling her _target_ all this? She had to re-gather her thoughts. "It's good because… I just think he should be around some kids his age, as well."

"What about you?" Merlin inquired. "You've told me about everyone except yourself."

"Um, well, my job is different than what I am used to, but… it has been going well. I just cannot believe what happened here a month ago," Lena said, once again trying to get a handle on his reaction. But it was hard; apparently he was better at keeping secrets than Lena had first thought.

"You heard about that?"

"Yes," Lena confirmed quietly. "I – I cannot even imagine…" She pretended to sigh sadly, ran her fingers through her hair, and turned away from the topic. She was getting the feeling she wasn't going to get any decent answers.

"Anyway," she continued, "tell me about yourself. I'm sure you've been listening to me long enough."

"Well, what do you want to know?"

Merlin's voice was laced with caution, which Lena quickly picked up on. And, of course, she knew exactly why he sounded that way. As she thought of her question, she realized they were coming up on a flight of stone steps. There wasn't really anyone around, so thinking quickly, she began to distance herself from Merlin a little. It was just enough to make sure he wouldn't be able to reach out and save her from falling that way. Then, praying she wouldn't kill herself by accident, she pretended to trip and fall at the very top of the steps.

She felt the magic Merlin used the minute it started. It grabbed her and pulled her back. Lena chanced a look over her shoulder, and saw Merlin's eyes glowing an amber color that was utterly hypnotizing.

No one saw, that much she knew. Lena was pulled back upwards, and she whipped around and stared at Merlin as soon as she didn't feel dizzy anymore. Was that was magic was going to feel like every time? If so, she wasn't sure she wanted to use it. Ever.

"What did you do?" she demanded, acting as though she had no idea.

"I… I didn't… it wasn't…"

"You used _magic_," she hissed.

"Please, Lena, you _can't _tell anyone."

Lena pretended to think it over for a minute, before sighing as though she was giving in, and giving him a _look_.

"Fine. But you will have some explaining to do… tomorrow," Lena told him as they approached her house.

"That's fine with me." Merlin looked relieved at the news that Lena wasn't going to turn him in. "Thanks, Lena."

She gave him a small smile. "Well, what kind of person would I be if I outed my escort?" She opened her door and stepped inside. "Good night, Merlin."

"'Night."

Lena locked the door, and fell back on it. She felt… alright. She hadn't killed herself falling, at least. And she did have a plethora of questions for Merlin.

But that, she decided, could wait until morning.


	8. I Wish I May

_~We will fight and we will fall until the angels save us all~_

**Chapter Seven: I Wish I May**

Lena woke up the next morning and saw Olive sitting on their bed, watching her with big blue eyes.

"You're up, finally." Olive grinned.

"Oh, God, I came home last night and fell right asleep, didn't I?" Lena's question answered itself as she took in the sight of her clothes and hair in the mirror. "Am I late?"

"No, you're in time for breakfast," Olive informed her. Lena pushed her hair back with her hand, hoping that it would be in the mood to cooperate once she had some food in her body.

Changing into a clean dress, Lena heard the door slam, and then the house settled into silence. She could hear her father's heavy footsteps in the kitchen, but there was no sign that Olive and/or Adam were in the house. Tying on an apron, Lena approached Dyonas, who was pouring some tea.

"Good morning," she greeted him, despite her headache. Dyonas feigned a look of surprise.

"Wow, I would have left you for dead the way I saw you last night," he told her. She rolled her eyes.

"Thanks _so _much," she retorted. They didn't say anything else for a minute, giving Lena some time to pull out bread and a few pieces of salt-covered meat.

"Father, may I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

"If a good person – I mean, a hard worker who cared for their family – does bad things, does that make them a bad _person_, even if they keep up their good character?" Lena asked. She knew the question sounded weird and just a little bit childish, but it had been plaguing her mind for a while. She figured that if anyone could help her to make sense of the situation, it was her father.

"Your actions define who you are, Lena. You know that."

"…Of course. Well, what about sacrifice? If the same good person who did bad things was only doing those things because they had to help good people by doing bad things to one other person… what does that make them?"

Dyonas was silent for a moment. "…Is the other person good or bad?" Lena knew she was speaking quickly and running circles around her words, so her father was probably a little confused at this point.

"Undetermined," Lena replied. She couldn't bring herself to admit that so far, his actions had shown Lena that Merlin was the epitome of "good".

"Well, either way, Lena, unless they're really, _really _bad, the one person doesn't deserve to be mistreated."

"Even if mistreating them saved good people?"

Dyonas looked hard at his daughter for a minute before sighing.

"Where's all this coming from, Lena?"

"It's nothing," she answered quickly. "I have to get to work, anyway. I will be back for lunch," she called as she grabbed her cloak.

"Oh… _kay_…" Dyonas was left with a puzzled look on his face.

_Teenagers, _he thought as he shook his head. _I'll never understand them_.

Lena hurried outside to the castle, where she hoped she could find Merlin (or, at the very least, Gwen) before work started. She ate her breakfast as she ran.

Once inside the castle, she saw her target – and she _really_ needed to stop calling him that…

"Merlin."

At the sound of his name, the young man turned around.

"Lena." He sounded wary of her.

"I told you, you have nothing to fear from me." Lena emphasized the word "nothing", lowering her voice so that nosy chambermaids couldn't hear. Merlin didn't say anything.

Lena understood Merlin's fear of her revealing his secret. She also had a dark secret – well, didn't everyone? – and she couldn't image what would happen if anyone found out about it.

"We have a few minutes before the workday technically starts. Walk with me?" Lena offered.

"Um… sure."

Lena beamed. "Fantastic. Well, listen, I know that this is probably as… weird for you as it is for me, and since I don't really understand… what it is you do," Lena said slowly, her eyebrows furrowing as she thought of her words, "Do you mind, er, answering a few questions for me?" She would be sure to take careful mental notes.

"Um, okay," Merlin agreed, doing his best to smile.

"Okay. So, um… how long have you been able to…?"

"As long as I can remember."

"You were born with these abilities?" Lena clarified.

"Yes."

Lena wanted to know if it was perhaps hereditary (after all, Morgana had told her that she – a _farm girl_ – possessed these abilities), but figured that it might be too personal a question for _acquaintances_.

"So… what can you do?" Lena breathed. She blushed. "What I mean is… um, sorry, there's no real way to word it," she admitted sheepishly.

"I know what you mean. I can… slow down time, freeze objects…"

"Without spells?" Lena blurted out. She bit down on her tongue. "Sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt," she hastily apologized.

"It's okay. But, yeah, it just… happens."

"Wow. And… with spells? What can you do then?"

"Well, I know a few…"

"W-will you show me one?" Lena asked quietly.

"Didn't I show you yesterday?" he joked weakly.

"Well, that didn't really count, did it? That was just you saving me from my own clumsiness. I want to see what you can do when you're not busy saving young women," Lena teased.

"…Alright. I'll show you." Merlin took her by the wrist and led her quickly down the hallway. They soon reached a tiny space farther down the corridor – _perfect for running and hiding from the guards_, Lena thought.

"Here." As Merlin spoke, Lena could feel his breath on her face. He had pulled them both into the space, so no one could see them unless they tried really hard. She was very aware of how dark it was and how close she was to this man. Was this what Morgana and Morgause wanted her to do?

Merlin began to whisper words in a language foreign to Lena's ears, and suddenly a tiny flame danced in his palm. Lena exhaled sharply in surprise; her expression one of shock and amazement.

"Incredible."

The tips of Merlin's ears turned pink at the praise from the green-eyed woman.

"It is so terrible," Lena muttered, looking as if she was almost in a trance while she watched the flame flicker in Merlin's hand, "that you are forced to hide something like that. It's beautiful."

Merlin smiled a little and put out the fire. Lena blinked a couple of times and brought her mind back from the state it had been in. She looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Thank you for showing me that," she whispered. "We should go to work now, I suppose."

"Right." Merlin had completely forgotten that he had a job to go do and a prince to wake up. "Meet me in the courtyard after?" The hopeful tone to his voice didn't slip past Lena.

"Absolutely." Lena nodded. She gave him one last smile before going back the way they had come.

Merlin couldn't help but sigh as he watched her retreating figure. No, it wasn't one of those love-sick sighs – no matter what Arthur said, he was _not_ a girl – but he sounded almost sorry. Of course, he'd had no choice but to save Lena the day before, but what had he really gotten himself into by helping her and her family?

He couldn't deny her attractiveness, for she was certainly beautiful, but he felt a little in over his head. He remembered what had happened to him the last time he'd been in over his head with a woman like that. They always seemed to mean trouble for him.

But he wasn't going to get so invested in Lena. This was just attraction, and it would pass soon enough. He would stop getting nervous, his heart would stop accelerating, and his palms would stop sweating around her. Most of all, he would make sure thoughts of her stopped flooding his mind.

* * *

><p>Lena wondered if it was wrong to feel satisfaction at the progress she had already made with Merlin. She could feel his intense gaze on her as she walked away. For a minute, she felt a pang of guilt for what she knew she had to do to him, but the feeling passed as she thought of her little sister's big, blue eyes and sweet smile. If she didn't complete the task the witches had given her… there was no telling if she would ever see those eyes or that smile again.<p>

She could never know what Morgana and Morgause's next move would be. They could hurt Olive. They could kill Dyonas, and that would guarantee the end of life for Olive and Adam.

This was her only choice if she wanted to keep her family alive.

* * *

><p>After work, Lena was tired, but she didn't feel as bad as she had the days before. She hurried out to the courtyard, where she knew Merlin was waiting for her. She untied her apron and folded it as she rushed down the stone steps.<p>

Merlin smiled as he saw how her pace quickened at the sight of him. Was she really looking forward to seeing him so much? He'd been thinking about seeing her from time to time during the day. He had planned out everything he wanted to say to her, so that there were no awkward moments. But as she began to stride up to him with her soft smile, tucking a piece of hair behind her right ear, the things he'd been planning to say vanished from his mind.

"I thought evening would _never _come," she told him, laughing a little.

He wondered if it was because she wanted to see him…

"I am _exhausted_," she finished.

Oh. Maybe that was a little too much to hope for.

"What about you?" Lena asked, draping her folded apron over her forearm, smiling up at him brightly. "How did your day go?"

"Oh, well, um, Arthur, you know, he's…" Merlin sighed. "A pain as usual."

"How long have you been working for him?" Lena inquired. Merlin saw her watching with interest as merchants closed their stalls for the day, and prepared them for re-opening tomorrow.

"I stopped counting the months after he got to 'living hell'," Merlin told her. Lena gave him a soft shove.

"Oh, it can't be that bad. Surely it gets better."

"Eh, it's been a few years and… I guess it's not… totally… horrible," Merlin admitted. Lena grinned.

"There, you see? Not so bad."

"He has his moments."

Lena rolled her eyes, knowing it was the closest Merlin would get to admitting he and Arthur were friends. But while running errands all over the city, Lena had seen the two of them together. They were lightheartedly joking with each other, and Lena had to stop and watch just because it was so enjoyable to see. Even with all of the problems they had – reconstruction, refugees, and Arthur's apparent daddy issues – they could still keep each others' spirits up.

Merlin and Lena continued with a friendly conversation (that didn't get too personal for either of them) until they were nearLena's section of houses.

"So," she began as they reached her front door, "I was thinking during work, and I realized… I never said thank you for saving me yesterday." She stood on her tiptoes and put her lips close to Merlin's ear. The flickering torchlight from Lena's home illuminated the two of them.

"Thank you," she whispered, pecking him on the cheek. She pulled back to look into his eyes, and Merlin just stared at her.

"I… you're welcome." He exhaled slowly.

"Good night, Merlin," Lena murmured, stepping inside her house and closing the door.

"W-wait, Lena…"

Lena froze, the door still open a crack. "Yes?"

"…Same time tomorrow?"

The partly closed door hid Lena's flushed cheeks. "Absolutely."

"Good night."

Lena shut the door completely, and leaned against it with a smile as she mulled over her actions in her mind. Where had that sort of confidence come from? She could count on one hand the number of boys she'd kissed, and that was after knowing each of them for a long time.

But there were so many questions. Had she made Merlin uncomfortable? She would apologize tomorrow and find out. Maybe she had rushed into it. But that moment with him had felt, well, _good_.

With a little jolt, Lena realized that, maybe, she _liked_ Merlin. As a friend or more, she didn't know, but she knew that he was definitely not just her "target" anymore.

A certain rush began to flow through Lena. No, no, no, she was _far_ too tired for this sort of thing tonight.

Too late. Moments later, she stood in Morgana and Morgause's domain, sighing reluctantly in surrender. She walked down the familiar hallway, her manner bored and definitely more self-assured than before.

"You've been doing well," Morgana told her upon seeing her, making it sound as though Lena was a small child worthy of praise. With a glance to Morgause, Lena noticed the color had returned to her face; her magic must have been helping her heal.

"Well, whatever it takes to save my family," Lena said in an uninterested voice. "I… I don't know what to do now, though."

"Now, you have to get close enough to Merlin to convince him to teach you how to do magic."

"But… magic is _illegal_-"

Both sisters gave Lena a look that told her they clearly didn't care.

"Anyway," Lena continued with a sigh, "I am pretty close to him already, in case you have not noticed. Which I am sure you have, considering you must be keeping tabs on me with… _that _thing," Lena muttered, glaring at the cauldron by Morgause. What a cliché.

"But of course," Morgana smirked. "We do have to keep an eye on you."

Lena narrowed her eyes at the woman she found to be very serpent-like. "I assure you, I have done nothing against your orders."

"But will you?"

"Undetermined. However, the real question is, how do I get Merlin to teach me magic?"

"Show him what you know," Morgause instructed. "Offer to practice techniques with him. Clearly you two are more than comfortable with each other."

Lena decided she didn't like Morgause anymore.

"There is one problem here. I don't know magic."

Morgana held up her index finger and grinned maliciously. "Not _yet_, you don't. Come over here," Morgana told her, beckoning the young girl over to her and Morgause. Lena raised her eyebrows and frowned. She knew she was not a contender in this game they were playing.

She was nothing more than a pawn.


	9. I Wish I Might

**A/N: So I wanted to update days ago but I haven't had any time... all these new classes are taking their toll on my sanity. Heh, anyway, enjoy!**

_~I wish I'd known right from the start that I was dancing with the dark~_

**Chapter Eight: I Wish I Might**

Lena lay in her bed, feeling heat radiating from Olive's tiny figure onto her own body. It was a comforting feeling, having her sister there.

Even though Lena knew she could now make her own heat if she wanted to.

It was true, what the witches had said – Lena was like them. Except for the whole out-to-destroy Camelot bit. That was a tad out of her league. Still, they had taught her a spell – they said it was simple, but they had still seemed surprised at how quickly Lena learned it. She knew she had magic deep inside her now, and Morgana and Morgause were bringing it out.

Lena had never thought of magic as good or bad, it just _was_. No one really talked about it where she was from. Now, she didn't know _what_ to think about it.

She wasn't evil. She _knew_ she wasn't evil. So if magic was in her… it wasn't evil, right? Yes, that made sense.

_Still, _she thought, _I am trying to seduce and trap some poor manservant. So I am not exactly an angel of goodness and purity, am I_?

"No, I'm not," she whispered to herself. Olive moved a little at the sound of Lena's voice, but she didn't wake up.

The sun was going to rise soon. Lena knew the amount of sleep she was getting was probably inadequate, especially with the work she was doing, but what could she do? She had to work, be with her family, see Morgana and Morgause (whenever _they_ decided, of course), and now practice magic… which was still illegal, of course.

_But if it's naturally in me, _Lena thought, _I cannot help it. That makes about as much sense as breathing being illegal._

_ Morgana said my magic was going to show itself soon, and that it was better I learn to control it now than it sneak up on me… what if I got mad at someone and suddenly their head burst into flames…?_

Lena decided she should _definitely_ be getting more sleep.

Slowly, the sun rose, although Lena didn't feel like leaving her bed to watch it, the way she used to do on the farm sometimes. Eventually, she felt Olive stirring, and Lena pretended to be asleep so that she would have a few more minutes of thinking, even though that was what she'd been doing all night.

By the time she herself had to get up, Lena felt a little irritable, and wished she didn't have to work. But of course, she had no choice. Still, she managed to get out of bed and dressed, which felt like a great feat in itself.

"'Morning," she murmured quietly as she walked into the kitchen. Dyonas did a double-take at the sight of his eldest daughter.

"Lena, are you sick?" His voice held a high degree of concern, and he pressed the back of his hand to Lena's forehead, reminiscent of her mother's ways.

"I'm fine," she assured him.

"Your voice sounds funny," Adam commented. Lena rolled her eyes at her brother and poured some water from the well into a water skin, attaching it to the belt around her waist.

"Thank you, Adam. That cheers me up ever so much."

"You're in a mood," Adam said with a glare. _And you are one to talk about moodiness, _Lena thought. _How long has it been since you cracked a smile?_

Of course, she wasn't going to say it out loud. There was no reason to start fights now. She was too tired for quarreling, anyway.

Lena cleared her throat. "Well, I'm going to work." She had to find some way to "accidentally" show Merlin that she had magical abilities.

"Now?" Olive's soft features saddened. "But you haven't even had breakfast yet…"

Lena knew what her sister meant. She was away working all day, and dead-tired when she got home from doing one job and trying to find ways to do the other. Time with her own family had become something precious over the last few days.

"Well… I can stay a few more minutes."

Olive instantly brightened, and even Adam looked less surly. Dyonas handed his daughter an orange, which she peeled carefully. It had been from Merlin, no doubt. The man was some sort of saint, she decided. A handsome saint.

* * *

><p>After work, Merlin was there to greet Lena, and she wouldn't deny that talking and being with him on the way home was a definite high point in her day. But one thing she knew was that she could <em>not<em> get too attached to this man. Besides, on that particular night, she had a plan in place.

Near the throne room, where Merlin had met Lena that night to walk her home (as he had gotten into the habit of doing), there was a vase that was supposed to be very precious to the royal family. So all Lena had to do was wait for the right moment, and then "trip" over the table where the vase rested, and as it was falling, use the spell Morgause had taught her to slow its descent. All in front of Merlin, of course.

This might have been sort of a risky plan, but Morgana and Morgause had made it clear that they wanted Lena to move things along as quickly as possible.

So that night, as she and Merlin were walking, she pretended to stumble by the table with the vase…

And Lena braced herself. Her breath caught in her throat as she locked her gaze on the falling vase and held her hand out. It seemed to all happen in slow-motion as the vase's descent slowed and her eyes flashed a glowing amber color. The magic flowed through her body like a river of power, and although the feeling was completely foreign, it still seemed natural to her.

She reached out and grabbed the vase as it was just inches from hitting the stone floor of the castle, and ran her fingers over the expensive glass as she put it back on the table. Taking her eyes off of the vase, she looked at Merlin, still in shock from what she had just done.

"I… I…" Lena stammered.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Merlin demanded breathlessly, his usually clear blue eyes clouded with confusion and distrust. "Why didn't you tell me you had magic?"

"There were people around when you showed me your magic." Lena kept her voice calm and steady. "I… I couldn't find another time to tell you when it felt right."

"What about when I showed you the fire?"

"…We had work." Lena was running out of excuses, but thankfully Merlin didn't look like he had any more pressing questions.

"You should have told me," he sighed.

"I know, Merlin. I'm sorry." She looked at him, eyes full of innocence. "Will you forgive me?"

"…Yeah," Merlin agreed, giving her a smile. "So how much magic do you know?" he asked, keeping his voice low as they approached two more castle maids.

"Um, a few things." Lena's next words were all scripted. "I am the only one with such… gifts… in my family. I have told no one. Still, I do wish that I had someone who could show me – or teach me – more. It has been very lonely." Lena looked up at Merlin with sad green eyes. None of that had been a lie, after all.

"Well, you're not alone anymore," Merlin told her.

"That is truly a relief." Lena gave him a warm smile. "I thank the gods I have met you… met another person that is, well, like me."

Merlin stayed quiet for a minute, turning her words over in his mind.

"Lena, what was that you said… about no one teaching you magic?"

"Well, I couldn't tell anybody about my magic. If anyone else I knew possessed such gifts, they did not tell me. So, I have been figuring it out for myself… and failing, I fear I must admit. Sometimes things just happen, like with that vase. If I had been thinking properly, I would have let it fall. Then again, it looks very expensive, so maybe I did do the right thing.

"But see, there I go again, thinking about it now, after it is over and done with. It is never mind-over-magic for me. I have been thinking about my problem ever since I got to Camelot, and I still worry."

"I used to have the same problem," Merlin said. "I had to work at it for a long time, but it's actually gotten easier. I could teach you a few things… if you'd like."

This was perfection. It was going better than Lena had dared to imagine.

"I would like that… very much, actually." She cast her eyes downward. "Merlin… everything you have done for me… and I mean _everything_-" She brought her eyes back up to give him a meaningful look. "I can't understand why you would do it for-"

"For a friend." Merlin finished the sentence for her. "For someone who's like me."

"Right." Lena nodded. "So… you're going to teach me magic?"

"If you want me to."

Lena smiled. "I would really appreciate that."

By now, the two were outside the castle in the city, and Lena looked to her right, where she knew Gwen's house would be.

"Well, um, I'm leaving you early tonight. I'll see you tomorrow at work," Lena said, looking again in the direction of Gwen's house. Merlin followed her gaze quickly.

"…Yes." Was that disappointment in his voice? Oh, now _that_ was delici-

_No_. To feel pleasure from that revelation was just plain _wrong_.

Lena's teeth clamped down on her lower lip. Her feet felt like lead. She didn't want to leave Merlin, not just yet.

But she had to.

What was wrong with her? Everything was going exactly to plan. She had a good, steady job, her family was healthy, and not to mention Morgana and Morgause had promised to pay her a pretty penny for her _services_, as long as she continued to do be obedient. Besides, it looked like she would be able to seduce Merlin successfully. So why did she feel so… down?

_It must be guilt_, she reasoned, walking away, muttering her goodbyes to Merlin. _You know that what you are doing is wrong, immoral, and shameful._

Torn between two different sides of her conscience, she tried to clear her mind of all thoughts about her little side-job as she walked to Gwen's.

Gwen answered seconds after Lena knocked. She greeted the green-eyed woman with a smile, but it faded as she saw the morose look on Lena's face.

"What's wrong?" The notes of concern in Gwen's voice brought Lena back to planet Earth from her thoughts.

"Oh… it's nothing. I was just thinking. It was sort of painful," Lena joked weakly.

Gwen nodded, but the skeptical look on her face told Lena that she knew something was wrong. Which was to be expected; Gwen was good at picking up on things like that.

"I'm surprised you came around," Gwen remarked as she shut the door, ushering Lena inside.

"Really?"

"You've been going home with Merlin almost every day… W-wait, I didn't mean you were _going home_ with him, I mean, he was _walking _you to your house…" Gwen sighed. "It's been a long day."

Lena didn't have the heart to tell Gwen that she had the habit of going off like that three to four times a week.

"Yeah, I know how you feel."

"I would think you'd be in a better mood," Gwen said, confusion making her eyebrows furrow. "You told me that you had feelings for Merlin, and I always see you with him." Then, a look of realization came over Gwen's face. "Oh… did he give you the 'just friends' bit?"

Lena smiled softly, looking down at her hands. "No, it's not like that. I haven't told him I have feelings for him. If he knew, I'm actually not sure how he would react."

Which was true. The attraction was definitely there, and Lena hoped Merlin wasn't completely oblivious to it, but there was no way to tell what Merlin would think if Lena came right out and said she herself was attracted to him.

Lena stayed at Gwen's for a while longer, the conversation drifting away from Merlin and relationships – much to Lena's relief. When she noticed it was getting pretty dark and that if she wasn't home soon Dyonas would worry, she bid Gwen goodbye and headed back home.

She didn't make it to her house, though. While she walked cautiously through a dark alley, an annoyingly familiar tingling sensation rushed through her body.

Lena frowned as she found herself in the foreign castle once again. She remembered that she didn't have any idea where she actually was, and made a mental note to ask sometime.

Finding Morgause and Morgana in record time (she was getting better at this), she huffed at the sight of them.

"So, is this going to become a regular thing with you two? Don't suppose you could give me any sort of warning before you whisk me off to some strange palace," Lena muttered.

"You've convinced Merlin to teach you magic," Morgause commented, obviously ignoring Lena's griping.

"He more offered himself up, to be honest."

"Even better." Morgana looked like she was five seconds away from cackling. And Lena had to admit, she was rather curious about that sight.

"Yes, I suppose…" Lena bit her lip. "But there is something I have been wondering about. You want me to learn magic and seduce Merlin, then lock him away. Wouldn't it be much easier if you two just taught me magic?"

Morgana gave Lena a condescending look.

"We have other things to worry about. While you run around the kingdom with that _boy_…" Morgause's voice became angrier as she mentioned Merlin. "We have been planning the downfall of the kingdom. Your task with Merlin is only the first step of many. We must get him out of the way before we plan anything else."

"…Right." Lena didn't know what kept Morgause and Morgana so busy that they couldn't just teach her a couple of spells, yet they had time to kidnap her every other night.

Still, Lena could understand why she was to seduce Merlin. It _would_ be fantastic revenge for the sisters, especially with the way he had wounded Morgause.

"Well, how much longer do I have to keep this up?" Lena asked. "I mean, am I meant to drag this out? Because, to be honest, I _really_ don't want to."

"Just finish as quickly as you can," Morgana waved her off.

"Wait. There is still something we must discuss," Morgause said. With an air of grace and superiority, she glided over to Lena. Brushing back some of the hair that hid Lena's eye, she traced a scar on Lena's forehead that disappeared into her hairline. It was much larger than it appeared, for only a small part of it was visible.

"You got this scar in an accident when you were thirteen, didn't you?" Morgause asked.

"Y-yes. Everything from that year back to when I was seven is sort of a blur," Lena said, having no idea what the significance of the scar was to them.

"Come. We have much to show you."


	10. Fight Or Fall

**A/N: Ugh, I wish I could update more. I haven't written anything in days... this irks me. School has been kicking my butt... did you know that "advanced placement" mostly means "more homework"? Two of my teachers freely admitted that. Oh well, I hope you enjoy. I'm doing my best to finish up this story.**

_~Secretly you're so amused that no one understands you~_

**Chapter Nine: Fight Or Fall**

When Morgause and Morgana had allowed Lena to return to Camelot, she didn't go home. She couldn't. She was too shaken up. She found a quiet place in the dark alleyway she'd been in when the witches had taken her that night, sat down, and cried.

Lena cried until she was nearly dehydrated, sobbing quietly with her knees hugged to her chest. She cried until all she could taste was the salt of her tears and until her nose was pink and sore from handkerchief usage.

What Morgana and Morgause had shown her had given her knowledge that could be seen as either a blessing or a curse. When Lena had fallen off of those hay bales and hit her head at the age of thirteen, she'd forgotten a lot of things. Apparently, she'd forgotten something extremely important.

She'd seen Merlin before. They met when she was twelve.

_Lena and her family had lived three places her whole life; the farm where her mother died, Camelot… and a small village before that. A village called Ealdor. Lena had almost forgotten about it entirely._

_She had been very thin with no hint of womanhood around the bend… at all. Her brown hair had been long and tangled, mostly because she ran around all the time with the sort of energy it takes a child to have. She spoke much more softly, and her voice was almost squeaky._

_There was a boy who lived with his mother that Lena had seen looking at her sometimes, but any time she looked back at him he'd avert his gaze and blush. This puzzled Lena, for he was fourteen, so what about a twelve-year-old girl could possibly interest him?_

_Finally, one day, Lena followed him into the forest. She asked his name, perhaps startling him a little as she did so. He hadn't seen her coming, and cleared his throat in a flustered way as he shyly answered,_

_"Merlin."_

_They stayed friends for a while, and again, Lena couldn't fathom why he wanted to go places with her when he could have been with his other friend, Will. (For such a nice boy, Merlin didn't have many friends.) That was, until one day, in the springtime, Lena and Merlin had been under a tree, and he'd leaned over and kissed her._

_Just like that._

_Her first kiss._

_Lena hadn't asked if it was Merlin's as well – she could hardly think at all. It had surprised her, but as she reflected on it, it made a lot more sense._

_She didn't ask his reason for kissing her, but she could guess what one of them was. She knew his secret – she knew he had magic. She never told anyone she knew, except for Merlin, of course. When she had found out (it had been a complete accident, of course… at least two other people had seen that tree almost flattened Old Man Simmons), her emotions had ranged from shock to… well, it had been mostly shock. But she had accepted it almost immediately, knowing that she couldn't judge her friend based off of something like that. It wasn't like he could help it._

_Still, after the kiss he could hardly look her in the eye for almost a week, but after a while, he tried again. This time, Lena stopped him._

_"Okay, I have a deal for you," she said, smiling slightly. "You get a kiss… if you show me some magic."_

_Merlin had never showed her magic willingly before, and Lena knew it was dangerous, but something inside her _craved_ the energy of it all._

_So with this ultimatum – magic or love – Merlin begrudgingly showed her a few tricks. But it seemed that the way her eyes twinkled at the simplest of magic had definitely sparked something inside of Merlin._

_Soon, though, Dyonas caught word of how well farmers were doing at their soon-to-be home, and he knew that with the three children, it would most definitely help the family. They were to leave as soon as possible._

_The afternoon before Lena's departure – an afternoon spent alone with Merlin – was filled with tears, magic, and kisses._

_"Will you ever come back?" Merlin asked, his voice begging her to stay._

_"I will, I promise." Of course, neither of them could know the future, but it was what they had wanted to hear._

_A year later, at thirteen, Lena had fallen off a large pile of hay bales and hit her head rather hard. It had been so bad, her mother and father had nearly given up on her life, but eventually, she recovered, although she had no memory of the blue-eyed boy from Ealdor._

Now, there they were, back in Camelot together. Lena supposed she had sort of kept her promise of a return.

Lena had cried mostly because during the forgotten memory, she'd seen her mother again – she'd almost forgotten what Bethany had looked like – but she also cried because of her situation. How could she do this to that boy, that boy from Ealdor that she had perhaps even loved her in his own innocent way?

Even then, she'd been untrustworthy. She could hardly believe it. She'd traded his magic for her love… just as she was doing now. It was almost too much for her to think about it.

She dried her eyes and hoped she would pass inspection, as it were, and walked with quickened footsteps to her house. The candlelight illuminated the windows from only one room, telling her that her father was likely the only one still awake. So she'd been gone for quite a while.

Opening the door quietly so she didn't wake anyone in the house who might have been sleeping, she stepped in and locked the door quickly behind her.

"Where have you been? I was about to go looking for you myself." Dyonas leaned against a wall, a mug of ale in his hand.

"I went to see a friend and I lost track of time." Lena took off her apron and folded it over her arm as she kept eye contact with her father, who seemed surprised at her reason for lateness.

"A friend? Really?" The tone of his voice told Lena that he was glad to hear this news. "Well, that's… that's good."

Lena smiled. "I know."

"Well, how's work?"

"Fine… it certainly keeps me busy. You?" Lena grinned as she took the ale from his hands and took a sip herself.

Dyonas chuckled. "About the same, baby girl."

Lena looked up at her father, surprised. "You haven't called me that in ages."

Dyonas sighed. "Lena, I know things have been… hard. Since your mother died, we haven't really known what to do with ourselves. I know how much you have sacrificed-"

"We have all sacrificed things," Lena said softly.

"Still… it does not go unnoticed."

"Father, we're all working for this family. Adam was talking about getting a job even now – he's still learning a trade from you. Things are different here."

"And we'll be okay," Dyonas whispered, pulling his daughter into a hug.

Lena felt her eyes welling up again. _Oh no, not more of this crying business,_ she thought. She had to admit, though, it was moments like this that made her almost glad she'd made the deal with Morgana and Morgause. Like it was really going to be worth it when she finished with Merlin.

Lena pulled away from her father and sniffed, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to come up again.

"Goodnight," she murmured, kissing his cheek. She soon joined the sleeping Olive in their room, changing into her nightgown with the quietest of movements. Once she'd changed, Lena slipped under the quilt, grateful for the thickness and warmth. As she closed her eyes, she didn't know whether she was supposed to laugh or cry at that moment. So there was only one logical conclusion.

_I must be going mad_.

By the time the sun was rising, Lena had already formulated a plan. It appeared Merlin had forgotten about her as well; or perhaps he just thought it best to leave their past alone? She'd considered a lot of things. Either way, she was going to remind him of what once was, whether he liked it or not.

After a quick breakfast with her family, Lena headed off to work. She sighed as she realized how accustomed she had become to this routine. Wake up from a night of disturbing dreams and thoughts, pretend everything was all right as she ate, go to work with the reminder of her scandalous plans running through her mind, and then put them into actions. All the while, of course, she'd be pretending that yes, everything was fine, and no, there was not something weighing heavily on her mind, although thank you for your concern.

And then a smile just to make sure.

Lena knew it had to be her imagination, but she had the haunting feeling that she was being watched. She _knew_ Morgause and Morgana were watching her, of course… but she had this weird notion in her head that the people of the city were looking at her, and staring at her, and figuring out her dirty schemes. They weren't, obviously, but it was times like these that she was glad to cover her face with her hair and hurry on by… yes, yes, whatever she was doing was need-to-know, thank you for asking…

And they most certainly did _not_ need to know.

* * *

><p>As Lena picked up her skirts and hurried up the stairs to the castle, she immediately spotted Guinevere with a basket of linens.<p>

Gwen, although she was clearly trying to help with the efforts to rebuild the city, Lena knew that if Gwen wasn't the sort of person that was going to help no matter what, the girl wouldn't be lifting a finger. She still wasn't sure of the relationship that Gwen had with the prince – she felt as though she couldn't be sure of _anything_ these days – but once Camelot was back in good shape, there was a real chance Gwen wouldn't even have to work.

…Probably.

Speaking of feigning work, Lena recalled that she hadn't seen, heard, or even heard of the king in a while. She wondered if perhaps the aging man's mind was going, and Arthur was preparing himself. Most of the recent ordersLenahad overheard the knights discussing had come from Arthur. That was common enough, as it was Arthur's duty to oversee the knights, but every order seemed to come from the prince these days.

Lena pulled herself away from her own thoughts and approached Gwen with a friendly smile.

"Good morning, Gwen. Any idea what our adventures will be today?"

Gwen gave Lena what looked like a forced smile, not showing her teeth at all. "Not really. Arthur's taken some of his men out for a hunting trip… Merlin included," she added as an afterthought.

"…Oh."

"I think he just needed to get away for a while, really." Gwen and Lena began to walk through the hallways of the castle,Lenawringing her hands with every step.

"You seem to know a lot about the prince," Lena remarked nonchalantly as she pretended to look around the hallway, as though she had never really noticed how nice the walls were before.

"Word gets around," Gwen replied quickly. "I've been working close to the royal family for a long time now."

"Wow. You're quite loyal, aren't you, Gwen?"

A nod.

"So… with all that you have told me, does the royal family ever confide in you?" As soon as the sentence had slipped through her lips, Lena wanted to snatch it back. How more obvious could she be? Gwen would see right through her…

Instead of accusing Lena of snooping and whatever else Lena worried about being accused of, Gwen just sighed.

"No matter how _loyal_ I am… I'm still a servant," Gwen said, notes of bitterness in her normally honey-sweet voice.

"What about Arthur and Merlin? I see them, I hear stories… they seem closer than any brothers I have ever seen."

All Gwen could say to that was, "It's different between them. Arthur, when I first met him, was mostly just a spoiled prince… he's different from the man he is now. That started with Merlin, I think."

"Especially now with his father in such a state…" Lena murmured, hoping Gwen would pick up on the hint.

"Yes." Gwen's voice was cold and stoic.

"What's wrong, Gwen? Have I said something?"

"Not you. I just… I feel no sympathy for the king."

Lena chose to leave this particular matter alone. After all, even if Gwen claimed to not care about the king, the same certainly couldn't be said for his son.

* * *

><p>Lena finished her workday tired, but she knew that she was most likely going to meet with Morgana and Morgause, and for some reason, she had felt refreshed after some of her recent visits. It probably had something to do with her new-found magic being coaxed out and welcomed by their own magic.<p>

As if on cue, she felt the familiar tingling sensation… she knew the drill, of course…

She'd found the sisters in a matter of seconds. _New record_, she thought, smirking a little bit.

"Well, Merlin was gone today, so… no progress whatsoever," Lena announced as she entered their usual meeting room.

"He has been injured," Morgause told her bluntly. At this, Lena felt mixed emotions. Mostly she was worried; how badly had Merlin been injured? She had a lot of questions.

Then again, if it had been Morgana and Morgause's doing, maybe they'd decided she didn't have to go through with their terrible plan for her.

"Was he injured by way of… your abilities?" Lena wasn't quite sure how to word her question.

"...We did not shoot the arrow."

Her question hadn't been properly answered, but Lena hardly noticed. Her hand came up to cover her mouth in fear. _Oh God, that doesn't sound good at all_.

"He will be fine, but be prepared to awaken early tomorrow. You'll be kept busy," Morgana explained.

"Busy… doing what?" Lena asked warily.

"The knights will be arriving early in the morning, just as the sun is rising. Perhaps you could be conveniently by the castle, and when they approach, offer to help the physician care for Merlin." Morgause's voice was like silk as her words glided over Lena, persuading her to go along with their plan.

"Yeah… okay… whatever you say. I better go get some sleep." Lena's words fell out of her mouth like rocks; she couldn't be more against what she was doing… manipulating poor Merlin the way she was… but it was too late to change her mind. Without any hint of a goodbye, she turned her back and started to leave the room.

"Oh, how cooperative you're being," Morgana crooned. "Here." She tossed Lena a small brown sack filled with coins, and without turning, Lena lifted a hand and caught it. Looking over her shoulder at the blonde and the raven-haired witches, she gave them a quick glare.

"I just think you should know…" Lena began slowly. "That everything I am going to do is against what I think is right, and for pulling me into this… I blame you two just as much. If it wasn't for…" Lena looked down at the money in her palm, "I would not even stay."

"Well, you dug yourself into this hole," Morgana retorted. "Now you can figure your own way out."

One last fierce look and Lenawas gone. Her anger levels lowered, though, as she felt herself leaving the castle. She was tired, and definitely not refreshed. Tomorrow held the promise of nothing; nothing more than what her despicable task was.

_You can figure your own way out_.

Eyes burning with tears that threatened to fall, Lena could only whisper a few words to the empty hallway as her vision began to blur.

"But what if I have already been buried alive?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I usually don't like putting these at the end of a chapter because I feel that it ruins the effect, but I felt the need to explain what I've done here. This chapter was me delving into the part of the legend that suggests Merlin and Lena knew each other when they were younger, at that Lena was always capable of doing what she is now that she's older. I'll probably end up putting these at the end of chapters that have significant meaning to the making of the legend, just to explain why I do some of the things I do. :) Anyway, thanks for reading, and review please!**


	11. Thunder Meets A Careless Whisper

**A/N: This chapter is un-beta'd, so it's probably not going to be very good. WHO'S EXCITED ABOUT MERLIN S4 TONIGHT? :D**

_~A rose won't blossom from a ground of desert sand, but I like to pretend~_

**Chapter 10: Thunder Meets A Careless Whisper**

Lena trudged home, not looking forward to the morning. She wasn't afraid of the dark alleys of the city anymore – nothing bad had happened so far. She kept her guard up, but didn't jump at every little sound.

Besides, she thought, if anyone tried anything, she could probably freeze them. After all, that was the only spell she could really do…

Then again, she realized, opening the door to her house, she had only been successful performing that spell on inanimate objects. Would it really work on a human being? Well, it didn't look like it was going to be tested anyway, and for this Lena was grateful.

She was also grateful for the fire, and the warmth she felt as she wrapped her cloak even tighter around her body. She would sleep with layers of clothing, plus Olive's heat and the quilt, as the weather had been getting colder and colder.

Merlin had probably suffered on the hunting trip, she considered as she crawled into bed. She could hear her father softly snoring from his quarters, and snuggled up next to her sister as she let her thoughts continue. Arthur had most likely been cold as well, especially going through the forest at that time of night. Of course, he seemed like too much of a _man_ to complain about it, if only for the sake of teasing Merlin about his thin frame and how the man was all skin and bones, therefore cold when he, the prince, was not.

But clearly he would be.

Lena wondered what it had to be like, traveling through a dark, cold forest in the middle of the night…

* * *

><p>With a half-conscious manservant half-draped over the horse, Arthur wasn't sure how they were ever going to get back to Camelot. He was freezing his trousers off, though he tried to keep it to himself. He was supposed to be the strong one, and that wouldn't set a very good example for the few knights he was with. And the army was only as strong as the weakest warrior, right?<p>

There was another thing troubling the prince as they rode, however. It was a sickening feeling that settled right at the bottom of his stomach, like a pile of stones. The feeling had a name of course… guilt. And worry. Why had the deadliest arrow hit Merlin? There were five other men there, Arthur included, and with the flurry of arrows that had suddenly come their way, Gwaine and Lancelot had also been injured. But neither one of them could have been hit _that_ way.

No, it was Merlin. Because Merlin was an idiot. A clumsy, aggravating idiot…

_Bloody hell, that's a big hole_. Arthur lost his train of thought as he saw the rip in Merlin's shirt. How large was the actual wound? He hadn't looked, he'd just taken off his own jacket and pressed it to the arrow's place of entrance, trying to stop the flow of blood. It had worked pretty well, although the blonde's jacket was soaked with Merlin's blood. Oh well, when Merlin got better he'd be scrubbing it extra-hard. _When_ Merlin got better, and definitely not _if_, Arthur reminded himself.

And Merlin, Arthur noticed, sometimes mumbled in his sleep. Wait, was Arthur supposed to keep him awake? Nervously, Arthur gave him a little shove, and the mumbles stopped.

For a split second, Arthur was sorry he'd done that. Why, he wasn't sure. He supposed it was his own curiosity… he sort of wanted to know what Merlin was going to say.

Well, it probably wouldn't be important anyway.

Merlin was an idiot.

* * *

><p>The sun had just started to peek its head out to see the new day, and Lena was awake to greet it. She had slipped out of her house with the stealth of a highly-trained bandit, maneuvering her way through the shadows until she reached the courtyard. She waited patiently, pacing her way through the minutes as she waited for the men to return.<p>

Soon, she saw the tell-tale colors of Camelot's flag enter, and the knights soon followed. Merlin rode on a horse with Arthur, looking worse for the wear. He looked even paler than usual – apparently that _was_ possible – and Lena could see a thin layer of sweat over his face.

_Fever. Infection_.

Her mother had taught Lena the basics of healing as a young girl – before Olive was born. Bethany had decided that if Lena was to be her only girl that she should know about these sorts of things, especially if Lena was going to be a mother someday, which Bethany had been hopeful about.

Putting on her best "innocent" face, Lena picked up her pace. She acted as though the men had only just caught her eye, and a worried look came over her features. She didn't dare approach them – rather she took notice of the knights with Prince Arthur and Merlin, and tried to see if she could recall their names.

Sir Gwaine, the knight who'd escorted her to the castle, was there. While he seemed collected, she noticed he kept glancing over to Merlin, at Arthur, and then at the ground. It was truly a vicious circle.

Sir Lancelot, one of the best in combat, from what Lena had seen. He nearly surpassed the skills of the great prince.

Sir Percival, who Lena really didn't know much about. He was certainly gifted with incredibly strength, that much had been made very clear. She often saw him with Sir Lancelot, as well.

Finally, there was Sir Leon, who had been with Sir Gwaine that day she was escorted to the palace. And of course, it was Prince Arthur who led the way, with two knights on either side of him.

As Lena looked on, she noticed that Merlin was not the only one injured. Two of the other men he was with (neither of them being Arthur) were bleeding. The one Lena recognized as Sir Gwaine had a piece of cloth (most likely from a jacket or spare shirt) wrapped tightly around his upper arm, and here was a bright red stain on the makeshift tourniquet. Sir Lancelot also had a cut on his face that seemed to go down into his shirt, but Lena couldn't tell how bad it was.

She kept back a little, but most of them men glanced at her as they passed by. Sir Gwaine and Sir Leon tipped their heads in her direction. Merlin, of course, hadn't taken notice of her, what with the state he was in.

But she accidentally tripped a little as she stepped back, and let out a small "oh". Suddenly Merlin's eyes – which looked almost gray at that moment – seemed to register her presence.

"Lena?" he murmured weakly. She nodded solemnly.

"Yes," she whispered. She looked up at Arthur as his face took on a look of surprise, but his attention quickly went back to Merlin, who let out a small moan of pain. Lena knew that he must really be miserable, because he never complained about aches and bruises. Gwen told her that once Merlin burned himself on a hot plate and Gwen had to keep reminding him to go and get it checked. He never did, though; at least not until after Arthur was comfortably in his bed. Merlin's excuse had been that he was too busy and that Arthur would kill him, but it hardly looked like that now.

"My God," Lena said under her breath. Had this all been planned by Morgana and Morgause? For what she was supposed to do? If that was true, she felt doubly guilty.

The men dismounted from their horses, and Arthur supported Merlin as they made their way up the palace outside stairs. The king, with his red cloak trailing majestically behind him, came out to see his son. The lines that worry, fear, and stress had caused were prominent on his forehead. His eyes swept over Lena and landed immediately on Arthur.

"Are you injured?" he asked the prince, completely disregarding the man in his son's arms.

"No, but-"

"We must get you inside at once."

"Father, some of my men were injured-"

"What? Your servant?" the king asked, his tone emanating disapproval.

"Well, others as well," Arthur said, gesturing to the two other bleeding warriors.

"They may see the physician, but you must come with me." It was a direct order from the king, so Arthur couldn't possibly ignore it. He followed his father back into the palace, while the two injured men went the opposite way of the king and prince. But Arthur stopped them, and with a few murmured words Lena was not permitted to hear, he handed his servant over to them. Sir Gwaine took one arm, and Sir Lancelot took the other. Sir Gwaine placed a friendly and supportive hand on Merlin's shoulder, giving him what looked like a forced grin.

Realizing that it was the time to act, Lena rushed up the stairs and made her way to the three men walking in the direction of the physician's chambers.

"Excuse me, Sirs," she panted, trying to keep up with their long strides. Their muscular legs were really no match for her own womanly limbs.

"I couldn't help but overhear… and, er, see…" She looked at Merlin with concern clouding her features. "I know a bit about healing, and thought perhaps I could be of some help, since you two are injured as well."

"Miss…" Sir Lancelot began, looking as though he was about to tell her she couldn't help.

"And whether or not you say you need my help or don't matters to me not, since I will be helping anyway," she said firmly.

Sir Gwaine looked over at his companion. "She might as well come," he said. That was the last spoken word as the group that now consisted of four quickly continued down the corridor.

Finally getting to the physician, Lena opened to door for the three men. Merlin's eyes were now closed in exhaustion and beads of sweat dripped down his face, making his hair damp and giving his face a sickly sheen.

"What happened?" Gaius cried as Lena closed the door.

"Hunting adventure gone wrong," Gwaine explained grimly. The physician spotted Lena, and his eyebrow shot up in suspicion. He remembered this woman… the woman he'd told Merlin to keep an eye on. He didn't trust her, and the scene in front of him didn't help her case.

"I thought perhaps I could assist you, sir," Lena told him, her voice soft and her face innocent. "There are three men here requiring medical attention, and I know a bit about healing."

The physician hesitated. The woman seemed genuine, and it _would_ be good to have some help…

"I'll need some fresh water." He finally caved in, handing her a large wooden bucket with a rope handle.

"Of course," Lena agreed, seeing right through him. The physician wanted her to keep away from Merlin. But she'd have to be with him at some point. She knew she would, because after all, that was how Morgause and Morgana had planned it for her.

Nevertheless, she went to the well in the city, and filled the bucket as quickly as she could. Then she hurried back to the castle. Her arms may have been thin, but she had grown strong from her work on the farm. And the distance she had to cover was not much.

"I have fresh water," she announced as she entered the physician's chambers. She made her way to where Sir Gwaine and Sir Lancelot were. Both sat on what the physician must have used as examination tables, and neither wore a shirt. Lena quickly averted her eyes at the sight. She knew it was improper for her to… well, it was just better to look away from them.

"What's happened to Merlin?" she inquired nonchalantly as Gaius handed her a washcloth. The old man fixed her with a suspicious look as she drenched the washcloth in water.

"His injuries are more severe… um…"

"Lena."

"Lena. I must keep a closer eye on him. As a matter of fact, I should go check on him now," Gaius realized, shuffling off to another room.

With a small sense of dread, Lena wrung out the washcloth, and turned to see the two shirtless men again.

Sir Gwaine, the charmer, gave her his best (clearly practiced) grin, flashing all of his white teeth. Sir Lancelot simply looked at her, his expression neutral. Deciding she should probably just get it out of the way, Lena went over to Gwaine, and his smile grew.

"Of all the people I have been cared for by, I have to say you're my favorite. 'Course, I haven't been cared for by many, but still."

Lena gave him a small smile, and pressed the wet washcloth to his wound, which was now revealed to her. She was glad to see that it was not very deep.

"I have hardly done anything, Sir Gwaine." She began to delicately wipe the dried blood from around the cut on his arm with the tenderness only a woman could perfect. "Tell me if this hurts you."

Swiftly, Gwaine put his hand on top of hers, and winked as she looked up from his arm to his face.

"Feels fine now," he told her, flexing his upper arm muscles for her to see.

Lena chuckled and rolled her eyes as she searched for another washcloth. Once she'd found one, she dunked it into the water.

"I don't think she's going for the bait, mate," Lancelot informed his fellow knight.

"Really?" Lena piped up, smirking as she wrung out the second cloth. She went back over to the men, this time pressing the washcloth to the wound on Sir Lancelot's cheek, which was even more awkward. At least he made no comments as she placed her hand on the other side of his face to keep his head still as she once again carefully wiped down the cut with her feather-like touch. She patted it and moved down to his neck, where the wound became deeper, but only slightly. The cut went all the way down to just above his heart. Seeing this, Lena's eyebrows furrowed.

"Ooh," she grimaced. "You got lucky with this here."

"I know," Lancelot said solemnly. "I am very fortunate."

"Well, your wound gets quite deep here, and although I admit to being no physician, I would say you must be very careful for the next few days. No rigorous sword-fighting or anything like that," Lena advised.

Lancelot laughed. "My lady, you don't have to mother me like this," he told her.

"I know, but I might as well anyway." Smiling, she turned her head suddenly as Gaius emerged from the other room and looked over the two men on the table.

"Merlin's wound is infected," he said gravely, pulling out gauze for the knights' injuries. Lena gasped worriedly whilst Lancelot and Gwaine shared an uneasy look.

"He… he will get better though?" Lena searched for a solid answer.

_Well_, Gaius thought. This girl was just full of surprises. Perhaps he had been wrong about her. He'd seen her with Merlin more than once, and she seemed truly concerned about the boy.

"Yes, but he has to be monitored carefully."

Lena took a few steps closer to the elderly man and looked into his eyes sincerely.

"Gaius, if you need any assistance over the next few days… whatever you require, I will be glad to help."

"Child, why are you so eager to do this?" Gaius asked, finally speaking his thoughts out loud.

"Because Merlin is my friend," she said firmly. "I am new to Camelot and almost no one as been as kind to me as he has. He has made me feel welcome, and I believe it is my responsibility to repay him."

Gaius assured Lena he would ask for her help if need be, and sent Lancelot and Gwaine on their way. Even with Lena's sweet words and compelling sincerity, there was something… _off_… about her.

And the way she'd spoken of Merlin. Gaius could only wonder if her feelings towards his ward were more than friendly – the way she'd insisted they were. He wasn't sure if he wanted Merlin getting involved with a woman like her. Lena reminded the physician of another green-eyed woman that had lived within the castle walls, and _no one_ wanted to relive the memories of what had happened because of _her_.

Maybe Lena was not to be trusted. Or maybe she truly cared about Merlin.

Only time would tell.

* * *

><p><strong>So, that was my sad attempt to work a part of the legend that was quite a challenge to figure out... where Lena is supposedly Lancelot's foster mother. ..."You don't have to mother me"? Also, I just love Gwaine. And his hair. :) That's why he was there. I'm hoping Gwaine and Lance will be BFFS in s4. :D Review?<strong>


	12. The Sound Of The Poison Rain

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They really keep me going. Sorry this chapter took a while. And keep in mind this entire story was written before s4 (none of which I have seen yet... no spoilers, PLEASE! They will be the death of me) and is a bit AU in parts, but that won't really come into play until later. We now continue my Merlin-whumping.**

_~Even angels have their wicked dreams, and you take that to new extremes~_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven: The Sound Of The Poison Rain<strong>

Lena and Dyonas sat at their kitchen table, letting the comfortable silence wash over them as they sipped the tea Lena had made.

"So…" Lena began unsurely, "I, um, I may be out of the house more during the coming days… and nights."

"More than you already are?" Dyonas asked in disbelief. "Honestly, Lena, we hardly see you anymore. I can see work must be taking a toll on you – don't give me that look, you flop into bed every night and sleep like a stone."

"If stones slept," Lena mused quietly.

"What's going on now, Lena?"

"Father, one of my friends – and I don't have a lot, mind you – has been injured badly. He has a fever and it's getting worse. He is not stable, and I must-"

"Wait, wait. _He_? I thought that friend of yours was a girl. What was her name?..."

"Gwen, Father… and yes, she is the friend I see a lot, but he is another."

"And what is his name?"

"Merlin. And it's not like _that _at all. He is just a very kind man that has been helping me adjust to this new life, is all."

Dyonas gaveLena a look that showed he didn't believe her one bit.

"Uh huh. And where does this boy work?"

Lena noticed while she referred to Merlin as a man, her father called him a boy, showing his disdain, which confused Lena. Hadn't Dyonas been pushing her to get married as of late?

"He is the prince's servant, Father." Lena could see that her father was not too displeased by her answer. She was sure he would have been even happier if she'd said Merlin was a knight – what father wouldn't be? – but it was what it was, and a servant to royalty was better than some of the things Dyonas knew his daughter could have said.

"And before you ask," Lena continued, "he has expressed no interest in me, thank you."

"None of _my _business," Dyonas muttered into his tea. Lena's mouth turned down at the corners. Even with their conversation, she knew he must want her to get married – and give him grandchildren, of course – but she felt no rush. She was young still, why should she tie herself down now?

"Uh huh. So, on that note, how is _your_ business?" Lena asked, meaning the blacksmith's shop. She took a few large sips of her tea while she waited for his answer, knowing she should get back to the palace soon.

"Better than you might think, Lena. Even I'm surprised by how well it's doing. It almost seems like extra coins keep appearing every day."

"Well, I am sure that they aren't, because you've certainly earned them all," Lena said, smiling enthusiastically. And it was put something from her salary from Morgana and Morgause (there were regular payments now – money always had a way of appearing on her pillow) into her father's coin purse every night, just so that the family's sudden gain of money wasn't suspicious to him. But for raising Adam and Olive all this time without a wife, Dyonas certainly deserved it.

"I'm glad you're having such luck here in Camelot," Dyonas told his daughter.

"We all are, Father. Coming here was a good idea. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some herbs to sort." With that Lena kissed her father's cheek, put away her empty tea cup, and grabbed her cloak.

"Right. Well, tell your friend I send my good wishes," Dyonas called out as Lena began to move out the door.

"Will do!" His daughter confirmed as she shut the door behind her.

By this time, the sun was setting. Any other day, Lena would have been meeting Merlin out in the courtyard. Oh well, she was going to see him now, anyway. The chilly air whipped around Lena and she shivered, wrapping her cloak tighter around her body. Looking up, she wondered with half a mind if it was going to rain. From what Gwen had told her, early winter wasn't kind to the residents of Camelot, and the season of snow and parties was creeping up on them.

Once Lena finally got up to the physician's chambers, her cheeks and nose had turned pink and rosy, and her teeth were chattering slightly. She was grateful for the warmth that the multiple fires gave her inside.

"Hurry in, before you catch a chill," Gaius instructed her, and finally she released her cloak from its wrap around her body.

"Thank you," she sighed. "So, what am I doing for you this evening?"

"I called you back here now because I often have patients come by for their medications before bed – when they finally have time to remember them."

"Well, we've all been there, haven't we?"

"Yes. Anyway, I knew that by this time I would know the intensity of Merlin's infection… and if it was bad, I would need your help caring for him. If not, I would just require some minor help."

"And how bad is he?" There was fear in Lena's voice.

"He is not well. He needs constant vigilance, and with patients coming by… I'm sure some will have questions for me."

"I only know basic healing," Lena admitted.

"Then it looks as though you will have to care for Merlin tonight. I'm trying to find a good, solid remedy for him." Gaius revealed the thickest book Lena had ever seen, and opened the pages. "Come get me immediately if he worsens."

The old man gave her a firm look, and she could decode what it meant: _Don't let him worsen_.

She dipped her head slightly before she left; a subtle sign of respect.

_You have nothing to fear. I wish for Merlin's recovery just as much as you._

Lena knelt by Merlin's bedside. He lay on his bed, the picture of illness.

"Oh…" she groaned sadly. "You poor man."

Merlin shifted slightly.

"You probably can't hear me," Lena told him, "but if you can… know that I am very sorry for what happened." Suddenly, Lena realized that Gaius could be listening. Or maybe Merlin could understand her and was choosing to stay quiet. "Not that it could have been prevented, obviously. Still… oh, Merlin, how do they expect you to protect yourself?"

Just as she had done to help Sir Lancelot and Sir Gwaine's injuries, she put a washcloth into a bucket of water that had been placed for her use and wrung it out until it was only slightly damp. But instead of putting it near Merlin's wound, she began to bathe his fevered brow with it. It was noticeably colder in Merlin's room – no fire in sight. But she would be able to get through it, and it would be better for him that way.

"The knights have armor," Lena continued, dabbing at Merlin's forehead, "what do they give you? No weapons, no method of defense… oh, Merlin, what are thinking? You can't use your gifts to save yourself, even. That must be agonizing. I am still getting used to my own. I hope when you are well, we can talk more. Because, Merlin, in all honesty… I am so confused."

Was it her imagination, or at that, did Merlin's hands grip the bed sheets? Had he been doing that the whole time?

"I feel as though I am a pawn. I've thought this over more than once, and I have never felt anything different. Do you think maybe we all are, Merlin? Pieces of someone else's game? Even people with higher standings than you and I… goodness, even Arthur… the _king_… all sorts of royalty could be like that. Maybe they feel like that as well. Perhaps they are not so different."

Even Lena had to snort at that.

"Oh, who am I kidding?" she sighed. "Someday things are going to change, though. I firmly believe that."

Smiling softly, she put the washcloth back in the water. "I apologize in advance… I am going to be talking your ear off tonight."

Lena's smile faded as she saw just how distressed the expression on Merlin's face was.

"Oh, Merlin," she whispered, picking up one of his clammy hands. "I hope you heal soon."

Lena didn't know what happened to her rational thinking after that moment. She just knew she was there with Merlin, although he didn't really know it. But she liked having him all to herself, even in that situation. Slowly, the hand she held was raised to her lips, and she gingerly kissed one of his fingers.

Back on the farm, Lena had kissed a young boy named Davis. He'd been very polite and kind, and at fourteen, only the second boy Lena had ever kissed. She still remembered what he'd told her only moments after their kiss.

_"Why me?" she asked shyly, her cheeks filled with a pretty blush. "There are other girls here… ones with fuller, redder lips."_

_"Lena, you may not have red lips, but yours are special in their own way. They are very soft-"_

_Lena blushed even more fiercely._

_"-And while they aren't ruby red, they are perfect and pink, and nearly magical."_

Lena remembered feeling confused when Davis had said that, but now it made sense. Well, sort of. Once she'd laid her lips on Merlin, she noticed an improvement. He didn't look like he was in much pain anymore. His forehead cooled, and eventually Lena stopped dabbing at it with the washcloth.

But she convinced herself that it was all wishful thinking.

Then, dawn came as it usually did at the end of each night, and Lena succumbed to sleep only an hour or two before.

She awoke when she felt movement around her, and quickly her eyes shot open as she remembered immediately where she was. Looking up, she saw Merlin's blue eyes staring into her own. He still lay flat on his back, but he had the brightest of grins on his face.

"Well… I'm sure this is a sight…" Lena mumbled awkwardly, pushing a hand through her hair.

"I've woken up to worse."

Lena laughed. Was that flirtation in his voice? It _was_.

_Wow_, she thought. Could it be true? Was the plan working so well-

Suddenly the door opened to reveal Gaius, and Lena stood slowly, stretching her stiff muscles a little.

"Hi, Gaius." Merlin's voice was weak, but there was a cheery smile on his face. Stepping away from the bed, Lena gave Merlin and Gaius a minute alone as she slipped silently out of the room.

She took a deep breath. She needed to collect her feelings. _Feelings_, she thought. _Troublesome little buggers._

The night before, she'd come to an interesting revelation. Somewhere around the time she'd been ranting to an unconscious Merlin, she'd realized how handsome he was. And as she'd been falling asleep and losing touch with reality, she reminded herself how kind he was and everything he had promised to do for her to help her with her magic. She hoped they could get to that soon.

And although there was an underlying sense of "don't-do-it" in her mind, Lenahad come to the conclusion that, yes, she had feelings for Merlin. _Those_ kinds of feelings. And denying it wasn't going to do any good.

She hadn't known Merlin for long, true. And how could she know if he felt the same way? It was probably better to just wait it out.

_On the other hand,_ Lena thought,_ maybe this is just a passing phase. Maybe it'll help me with my task, and then I'll discover I don't really have feelings after all. But my family will be content, my job will be done, and-_

She stopped herself right there. _My job will be done_. It was only now that she truly understood what that meant. Whether her feelings for Merlin or that urge to kiss him (that she would admit kept gnawing at her heart) was real or not, she knew she liked and respected him. When her job was done… he would be no more. She supposed it didn't matter so much to her when she was hysterical over her father and she didn't really know Merlin very well, but it mattered now.

Finally, Lena had made a decision. She had to go to Morgana and Morgause and tell them that she just couldn't do it. Her family would make enough to get by without the additions that Lena received from the sisters, and perhaps she could actually pursue a normal friendship – maybe even a relationship – with Merlin.

She smiled down at her clasped hands. That sounded nice.

Then she was brought back to Earth as she heard Gaius behind her.

"Well, I don't know what you did, but he's made a miraculous recovery in the amount of time it's been," the physician informed her.

Lena's smile grew in relief. "I can assure you I've done nothing," she told him. "But I am certainly glad to hear he is better."

"He should be up and about soon."

"That's good. Do you-"

"I don't require your services anymore,Lena. You can go back to your home now. And you should probably have the day off – you were up most of the night."

"Thank you, but I am fine," Lena said graciously, bowing a little. "I should go home, though. And if you should need me again, I would be glad to help." She smiled honestly before leaving.

By the time she got to her house, she wondered if it was possible to get to Morgause and Morgause by sheer force of will and magic. Probably not; she would just have to wait for them.

And she did wait. For two days, she waited. Not that those two days were wasted; she saw Merlin both of them. And on the second day, when he was up and about again, he pulled her aside and told her in a hushed voice to meet him in his room the next night, and he would begin to help her with her magic.

"You're really going to help me?" Lena asked, almost believing it to good to be true.

"You didn't think I wasn't going to?"

"Of course, I just… I'm so glad I finally have… anyway." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "So, was it nice having my face be the first thing you saw when you recovered?" she teased, trying to stay away from the subject of magic for the time being.

Merlin blushed at this, and Lena giggled. He hadn't really given her a proper answer, but she went home that night with a warm feeling in her stomach and the memory of herself and Merlin, together, speaking in whispers. Alone. It had been so nice, Lena relished every moment of it.

And that gave her the confidence to look Morgana and Morgause right in the eye (even though her voice broke from fear) and tell them-

"I cannot do this."

"What are you on about?" Morgause asked, sounding almost bored.

"I mean… what you want to do to Merlin is just wrong. And I cannot help you."

"Do you care to explain why?" Morgana's voice was dangerously calm. It frightened Lena more than she thought it would if Morgana had yelled at her.

"Don't tell me you've let yourself develop feelings for him," Morgause groaned, sounding exasperated.

"Maybe I have, and maybe I have not. Either way, I have grown close to him, and he is my friend. Now… I cannot see him get hurt."

"I am warning you, Lena-" Morgana stepped closer, and her eyes bore intoLena's own. "-If you think you are going to back out now, there will be deadly consequences. I would reflect on what you're willing to sacrifice for him."

"He is completely selfless; he's offered to help me with my magic – which by the way, is popping up at the most inconvenient times, and has been ever since I met with you two – and I am going to do whatever is in my power to keep him from getting hurt."

"He has offered to help you with your magic, but why do you think he did? He hardly knows you. You hardly know him. He's doing it so he has someone to talk to – someone like him. Think of what you are doing for him. Would he do the same for you?"

Lena stayed silent. Would he?

…Probably not.

Maybe they had a point…

_No, no, stop thinking like them! _Lena scolded herself. _You know this is wrong…_

"Whether or not he would do the same for me, I do not know. I admit that much. But what I _do_ know is that I will not stand to see him hurt. And I cannot assist you anymore."

"You can't just walk away from this!" Morgana growled.

"Watch me." Lena turned, but suddenly found an invisible barrier blocking her path.

_Why does this feel familiar?_

"No, actually. You will do as we say, or-"

"I get it! There will be consequences!" Lena shouted. "Do whatever you want to me, but Merlin… leave him alone. He hasn't done anything."

"I beg to differ, Lena." Morgause glared at her.

"Look, you healed. What you're asking me to do is irreversible. You've taught me that much."

"And we can teach you much more. More than Merlin ever could." Morgana practically sneered the man's name. "You must stay with us, Lena. You're missing the big picture."

Suddenly, Morgause spoke with a voice that sounded like honey. "We can bring you to a better place in life. Once he is out of the way, you will rule Camelot with us."

"Three queens will be better than one," Morgana mumbled, remembering her own failure as ruler of the kingdom.

"I… I…" Lena stammered.

"We will see you tomorrow. I hope to hear of progress."

Lena winced a little. She didn't know what they had planned for her.

But she did know one thing. She may have failed in her confrontation, but she _would_ save Merlin. She would _not_ be pulled in by their sugary-sweet promises.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: According to the legend, Lena has some magic healing powers and such. And I needed a bit of cheesiness here. There's not too much in this story, and that's probably as cheddary as it's going to get. :) Review?**


	13. The Last Word On Your Breath

**A/N: This chapter is, as the last few have been, unbeta'd. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need a new beta, actually. Anyone interested? Oh, and I know the dialogue near the beginning of this chapter is seen a lot, but I wanted to try it out and I quite enjoyed it. :)**

_~Don't you believe them? Don't you drink their poison too?~_

**Chapter Twelve: The Last Word On Your Breath**

Lena had to admit, she was excited about learning more magic. Apparently, it wasn't the first time, but it certainly felt like a novel experience.

Still, her conversation with Morgause and Morgana weighed heavily on her mind. Who did they think they were, really? They didn't rule Camelot… yet.

Lena shuddered at the thought as she took off her work apron. They had spoken of three queens… Morgana, Morgause, and herself. Had any other kingdom ever seen such a monarchy? Probably not.

Of course they would be powerful. Of course they would be unstoppable. And while that was intriguing – Lena was still a human being, after all – it was also frightening. All that power? Even between the three of them… it was a lot to fathom.

More than Lena cared to think about.

* * *

><p>The change in Merlin's behavior wasn't lost on Arthur. With the prospect of seeing Lena, and teaching her magic, showing her how beautiful it could be… it had all sent Merlin into a state of happiness he hadn't experienced in a long time.<p>

Arthur grinned as he appreciated the look on Merlin's face and his cheerful demeanor. That dreamy, love-struck look he had in his eyes…

"What's her name, Merlin?"

"Huh?"

"_Her_, Merlin. Green eyes, brown hair, about this tall?" Arthur held a hand up to his shoulder. "Laura?"

"Lena," Merlin corrected. "What about her?"

"Well, ever since she came here, you've been even more distracted than usual. You've been spending a lot of time with her."

Merlin nearly smiled as he remembered he was going to see Lena later that day. He was going to show her magic. Finally, someone would appreciate what he could do…

"Yeah." Merlin was unable to hide his bright smile this time. He knew he liked Lena, and he liked their moments together even more. She was a good friend. Still, there was the nagging doubt he had that she was just a friend… and apparently Arthur had it as well.

"She's certainly attractive, don't you think?" the blonde man asked.

In order to avoid Arthur's invasion of privacy, Merlin resorted to the one thing he knew for sure would hit Arthur's weak spot.

"You better not let Gwen hear you say that," Merlin warned. Arthur froze.

_Damn __it, _he thought.

"Merlin… answer the question. Do you find Lena attractive?"

_Damn __it,_ Merlin thought. And yes, he found Lena attractive. He found her bloody gorgeous. But Arthur wasn't allowed to know that.

"Why not?" Merlin shrugged. "She is. Lots of men think so, evidently."

"Uh huh. And when you consider the fact that lots of other men find her attractive, how does that make you feel?" Arthur probed deeper, searching for answers.

Suddenly, Merlin looked into Arthur's eyes seriously.

"Arthur," he said slowly, "Are you alright? Because you just asked me about my _feelings,_ and frankly, I'm deeply concerned."

"Merlin, stop trying to avoid the subject. Admit it."

"Admit what?"

"That you _like_ this woman, Merlin!"

"Of course I like her. We're good friends."

Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going nowhere. "And you have no desire to be anything more than that?"

Merlin was silent. He couldn't flat-out lie and say no…

Arthur laughed victoriously. "I knew it! Oh, Merlin…" The prince threw an arm around his servant's shoulders. "You love… um…"

"Lena."

"You love Lena, don't you?"

"No, I don't think so," Merlin answered truthfully.

"What?" Arthur's face fell.

"Well… I don't love her."

"But you could."

Merlin suddenly found the floor very intriguing.

* * *

><p><em>It <em>_would __probably __be __a __good __idea __to __give __Gaius __a __little __warning, _Merlin thought, glancing over his shoulder at the door every time he heard a slight noise. Lena could be coming around any minute.

"Merlin, you seem very distracted. And you've hardly touched your dinner," Gaius commented. Merlin looked up, knowing the old man was right and clearly suspected something.

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

Merlin sighed. It was right in front of him. He might as well come out with it.

"Do you remember that woman that helped care for me when I was infected?" Merlin asked. Gaius' eyes flew to the now-healed wound Merlin was sporting.

"Yes, I remember Lena."

"Well, she's… she's…"

Oh, Gaius was going to kill him when he found out Lena knew Merlin's secret…

"She's coming here later, because… I was going to, um… I was going to help her with her… magic." Merlin whispered the last word, and it was barely audible.

"What?" Gaius was furious. "She has magic? Merlin, I told you to keep an eye on her, I knew there was something about her-"

"Gaius, it's okay! She – she's not _bad_ or anything, she's just… confused."

"And how did she find out about _your_ magic in the first place?"

"I, um… accidentally showed her…"

Gaius gave Merlin an exasperated look. What was he going to do with that boy? If Lena had found out… how many others knew?

"Gaius, please." Merlin had a pleading expression on his face. "Who else could I talk to about something like this? Someone who understands what it's like to always have to hide, to always have that worry that you might be caught? Her magic is so new; she doesn't know what to do with it. She needs my help. No one else in her family is like her. She doesn't know where to turn."

After a moment of silent pondering, Gaius gave in.

"Fine. You better be careful, Merlin. You know what happened last time we had a young woman trying to figure out her magic and things went wrong."

_Things __only __turned __out __that __way __because __you __refused __to __let __me __help __her_, Merlin thought darkly. Maybe that was the reason Gaius was letting him help Lena, though. Obviously they didn't need a repeat of what had happened over a year ago to occur.

A few minutes of awkward silence later, there was a knock on the door, and Merlin sprang from his seat and went to answer it. On the other side stood Lena, smiling softly. Her brown hair had been pulled into a braid that was pushed onto her left shoulder, but there was still only one green eye that was fully visible, as usual.

"'Evening, Merlin. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything-"

"No, you're fine," Merlin replied, a bit too quickly. He blushed, realizing what he'd done.

_I__'__m __sure __that __doesn__'__t __make __her __think __you__'__re __desperate __at __all._

Much to Merlin's relief, Lena's easy smile stayed on her face as she looked up at him expectantly.

"Oh! Um, come in," he said, standing back so she could enter.

"Thank you." She spotted the physician, and sent him another smile. "Nice to see you again, Gaius."

Gaius, however, wasted no time on pleasantries.

"Merlin has told me why you're here, Lena."

Lena glanced back at Merlin, and he simply avoided her cold gaze. Looking at Gaius again, she sighed.

"Then you understand my predicament?" she asked hopefully.

"I understand how you must feel. But I must make sure you understand what is at stake here. If _anyone _else finds out, it will be a matter of life and death."

"I know." Lena nodded solemnly. "It… it is just such a relief to be able to tell someone about it."

The words slipped from her lips so easily, it almost felt to Lena as though some other woman was speaking them. But Lena was truly in danger; her magic had only just been dug up from the very depths of her soul, and would occasionally burst out at the most inopportune moments. For the time being, she was staying far away from the palace kitchens… she didn't need a dead chicken suddenly coming back to life in front of ten different women.

Merlin and Lena hurried up to Merlin's room, where he kept his book full of incantations and enchantments.

Merlin relished the look of wonder on Lena's delicate features as she opened the pages of the book. She was sitting at the foot of his bed, and Merlin sat in the middle of it, close enough so that they could both see the book, but the warlock estimated he was far enough away so that there wouldn't be any awkward moments between them.

"Wow," Lena finally murmured. "You… you just keep this up here? And no one suspects?"

"Uh, no… to them, I'm just Merlin – the idiot."

Lena laughed quietly. "Well, _I _think you're brilliant."

This surprised Merlin. "You do?" '_Why __do __you?__' __is __a __better __question_, he thought.

"Yes, I do. I mean, with a few words you can make fire appear from nowhere. In my book, that's pretty amazing." Mostly because she could still only freeze time, the simplest things to Merlin were extraordinary to her.

"Oh, that's nothing." Merlin was quickly filled with the desire to show off for Lena. "Watch this." He looked over at the lit candles by his bedside, and made them a little bigger. Lena watched in fascination as his eyes flashed amber, and then returned to their natural shade of blue.

Then, Merlin motioned for her to look over at the wall. She saw both her and Merlin's shadows, and they sat in the same positions as the people casting them did. Suddenly, they began to move, even though Lena and Merlin remained perfectly still. They appeared to stand up and talk, leaving Lena awe-struck from her completely stone-still position. She began to laugh, hardly able to believe what she was seeing.

"Merlin… that's _incredible_," she breathed. "I mean, really… _wow_."

"It's nothing," Merlin said modestly, feeling the tips of his ears heat up at Lena's praise.

"Oh, no, it is definitely something! Merlin, you-you're amazing."

With that, Merlin stopped the shadows from moving on their own, and lessened the candle flames. He didn't need Lena to see his embarrassment; he wasn't used to being told that something he did was incredible… or that he was _amazing_… that one had been especially new to him.

"I can't believe King Uther makes us hide our magic," Lena muttered, flipping a page of the book. "It's just wrong. N-not the magic, of course, but the fact that people born like you and I are capable of doing things like that and we can't… or we risk being killed." Lena frowned, her eyebrows furrowing as she did so. "Do you think someday… things will be different?"

"I think some day things will be very different," Merlin told her, imagining the Camelot he knew would one day come.

"Our people will be free?"

"Free to do as much magic as we please."

"Mm," Lena sighed contentedly. "I dream of that day. But of course, we would need someone to keep an eye on them all… the king cannot do it all alone. And since Arthur will probably have a hard time relating to them…" Lena looked at Merlin meaningfully.

"What is it?"

"I think you should do it. You would be good for that."

"For… keeping tabs on the magical community?"

"Sure, however you want to word it." Lena grinned. "Come on, can you not see it? I certainly can."

Merlin took a moment. People actually listening to him instead of calling him an imbecile and throwing things at him? It sounded pretty good.

"Well, we should probably start with what we're really here for," Merlin told Lena, not wanting to get too wrapped up in his own thoughts. "I'm supposed to teach you magic, and how to control it better."

"That was the plan," Lena confirmed.

Merlin smiled. "All right. Let's get started."

* * *

><p>"It's a lot harder than it looks," Merlin soothed as he sensed the frustration Lena was feeling at not being able to focus all her magical energy into the spell.<p>

"A lot harder than _you_ make it look, you mean," she grumbled.

"You just have to try to harness all your power…"

"Maybe I don't have a lot of power."

"You do, Lena, I can tell. You just have to coax it out; make it all come to you. Once you can do that, the rest is easy."

"So getting control is the hardest part?"

"Exactly."

Lena blew some stray pieces of hair away from her face. "All right, we'll be trying some more, I guess."

"That's the spirit," Merlin encouraged her. "But, um, we should probably stop for tonight."

"Oh, right, I should probably be getting home soon." Lena smiled. "Merlin, I-I do not know how to thank you for all you are doing for me." Swiftly, Lena leaned in and pecked her tutor on the cheek. "But know that all you are doing is greatly appreciated."

"Uh… it's no problem." Merlin was feeling a little dumb-struck. What had just happened, exactly? W-wait, he needed to rewind, did she just kiss him like she did that one other time?...

Lena murmured a goodnight before she left his room, and he heard the main door shut as she began to make her way home.

While Merlin was contemplating hitting himself for his oh-so-intelligent responses, Lena worried her bottom lip with her teeth as she walked through the castle. She was exhausted and had a headache for putting so much strain on her brand-new magical abilities in one night.

_How __much __more __of __this __can __I __take?_ she wondered. _It __could __make __me __ill. __Maybe __I __really __am __not __the __right __person __for __this __job._

She wondered if perhaps she could see Morgana and Morgause about this. Maybe it would successfully convince them to take her off of the task. Maybe they had found the wrong girl after all. Lena looked up, hoping for a miracle to get her out of this mess.

Above her, the sky was darkening.


	14. Just A Touch Of The Fire

**A/N: My own mother pointed out that in my stories, the female protagonist's mom is either dead or evil... anyway, don't hate me for this chapter.**

_~You found the right one... at the wrong time~_

**Chapter 13: Just A Touch Of The Fire**

Against his better judgment, Merlin looked out of his window to see Lena hurrying home. Her cloak had been wrapped around her tightly, but some of her brown hair had escaped and was blowing in the wind.

Then, he saw it. One solitary snowflake drifted past his window and spiraled down to the ground below. Then, there were more. Merlin watched as Lena looked up at the sky, and held her hand out. The snowflakes were falling faster now, and there were more. A few landed in her hand, and she smiled softly.

As a child, Lena had been taught to dislike snow. When it snowed, nothing could be done on the farm. But this was a city, and their lives didn't depend on what the weather was anymore. Maybe now she could finally appreciate the snow. Mostly, she wanted Olive and (possibly) even Adam to finally enjoy the snow.

By daybreak, the entire kingdom had been covered in a soft blanket of white snowfall. Lena was in the kitchen, cooking up some porridge while Olive made tea. Lena hummed a tune and almost appeared to be in her own world as she smiled to herself.

"You're really happy this morning, Lena," Olive observed from behind her older sister.

"Well, we do not have a lot to worry about at the moment, and that snow is very beautiful, so yes, I am ecstatic right now."

Olive silently studied her own thoughts before speaking up again. "Does it have anything to do with that man you've been seeing?"

Lena's eyes widened and she whirled around to face her sister.

"What _are_ you talking about, Olive?"

"Merlin. You're with him all the time, I've seen you! You always go to see him…"

"We're _friends_, Livvie. I do not want you to get the wrong idea."

A moment of silence, and then, "Are you going to marry him?"

Lena couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Did everything I just say pass over your brain and escape out of your ears?"

Olive giggled at this idea. "No. I was just wondering! But you remember… Father used to tell us stories about what good friends he and Mother were before they fell in love."

"Well, sometimes men and women are _just_ friends, and that doesn't turn into anything more."

"Yet," Olive muttered under her breath. Lena scoffed.

"I would not hold your breath, Olive. But if I do get engaged, I promise, you will be the very first to know."

Olive shrugged. "Okay. So what do you and Merlin do when you're together?"

"Well… mostly we just talk."

"About what?"

"About life and death and everything in between," Lena sang. Olive laughed.

"I guess it's something I'll understand when I'm older, right, Lena?"

Now Lena laughed. "Liv, I don't know if you should hold your breath on that."

"So… you do not have feelings for him?"

"No, Olive."

"…Are you sure?"

"Very."

Olive, apparently dropping the subject, quietly poured the tea she had prepared, and Lena began to spoon the porridge into bowls. With a sudden jolt to her subconscious, she realized something that nearly took away her entire appetite.

She had, for the very first time, lied to her little sister.

~Gossamer~

Lena lit as many fires as she could around the house, trying to keep it warm. She had used some of the money from Morgana and Morgause to buy more quilts and heavier clothing in the town. The snow was not thick, but it had completely covered the ground. And was it _cold_!

_It __never __got __this __cold __on __the __farm,_ Lena mentally grumbled to herself. They didn't see snow a lot, but when they did, it usually wasn't too bad. It just kept them from doing any work, and therefore was hardly ever welcomed by those who lived on or around the farm.

Apparently, though, this was not the case in Camelot. While some seemed aggravated by the snow, some seemed uncaring, and some (mostly young children) were exceptionally pleased by it, this was call for celebration for the fact that soon would come the winter holidays, and then the New Year, which of course meant lots of visitors from high places coming to visit the castle, and lots of work for the servants. Lena had to admit she looked forward to seeing what the festivities were like here. They never had that sort of thing back on their farm – who had time for those sorts of frivolities?

Lena met up with Gwen on their way to work, and they chatted amicably for a while, at least until Gwen brought up the gryphon in the room.

"So… I see you with Merlin a lot. Do you still have those feelings you were telling me about?"

Lena couldn't help but blush at this. "Yes, I suppose I do. But for the moment, we remain good friends. I don't think I should do anything to jeopardize that at this point."

"Well, you never know," Gwen offered cheerfully. "After all, the winter festivities are famous for being the most romantic time in the kingdom."

"Ah, but am I the only one with high hopes this holiday season, Guinevere?" Lena asked slyly. "You have your eyes on a man of your own, am I correct?"

There was absolutely no way of hiding Gwen's tell-tale flushing of the face.

"I…"

"It's okay to admit it, Gwen. Everyone knows."

Gwen's look turned to one of horror, and Lena quickly tried to fix her slip of the tongue.

"Um… no, not _everyone_ knows… I'm sorry. I did not mean that. I just meant that I do, because I have been spending a lot of time with you lately, you know?"

Gwen nodded, although she wasn't sure if Lena was being honest or if the green-eyed girl was trying to spare her feelings. She and Arthur didn't have to hide their relationship at every turn anymore, but at the same time, they couldn't exactly make a public announcement.

"What sort of things do they usually do around here for the holidays, anyway?" Lena inquired, leaning towards a less awkward subject.

"Feasts and parties at every turn, for sure. Although I wonder what sort of state the king will be in for that kind of event."

"He certainly can't have anyone thinking he's weak, can he? Well, servants certainly whisper about it…" Lena cleared her throat, and continued a bit louder, "I mean, not that _we_ do, of course, because I'm sure he is fine. He is the king, after all."

Gwen gave Lena a strange look. "Why are you speaking like that?" she asked.

"Because," Lena whispered. "You never know who could be listening!" She giggled to herself quietly before she and Gwen quickened their pace considerably to make sure they weren't late.

During work, Lena noticed a certain energy amongst the servants. While the kingdom was still being rebuilt, there was a silver lining now, one that they could see just by looking out of the windows. Lena, however, was feeling mixed emotions. Of course she was excited for the holidays, but she caught herself thinking about Merlin an awful lot. Sometimes she would think about him and worry, and ask herself how she could have ever thought she could do something to hurt that sweet man. Sometimes she thought of him and felt nearly giddy with anticipation; she relished her new magic. And sometimes, she thought of him and got a warm feeling in her stomach.

She'd heard besotted young women back on the farm talk about that feeling; and Lena had assumed it had to be all in their minds. Why would romantic feelings towards someone make your _stomach_ feel funny? But now that she was actually experiencing it, she understood. Perhaps it wasn't specifically the stomach that got the feeling, but her whole body ignited at her thoughts of Merlin.

This feeling made her a little nervous. She couldn't control it, and she did _not _like that. She knew that, if a person wanted to badly enough, they could take control and conquer their fears, but how would one go about doing that with their hearts?

Lena wondered who she could possibly consult about these notions. She wished her mother was there to give her advice. The rest of her family couldn't know about her fantasy courtship. She couldn't ask Gwen about it, because she couldn't tell Gwen about the underlying dangers of being with Merlin. And the thought of asking Morgana or Morgause for advice on matter of the heart nearly made her laugh out loud, it was so ridiculous.

_Maybe __I__'__m __being __silly __about __this_, Lena considered. _I __have __not __known __him __for __a __long __time__… __then __again __I __have __never __felt __this __strongly __with __anyone._

Lena remembered the fairy tales her mother used to tell her as a little girl. There were always gallant and chivalrous knights in shining armor (Lena had already seen those, thank you, and they were not quite as fantastic as her mother had made them out to be), and of course a fair maiden that was saved from some horrible predicament by one of them.

Well, Merlin was not exactly a knight in shining armor – he _carried_ their armor – and Lena could not be saved by him. Because he could never know what dark plans she was carrying out.

With the knowledge that Morgana and Morgause were keeping constant vigilance, she had to be wary of what she did. She wondered if, with the upcoming holidays, she could test to see if Merlin harbored feelings for her, as well.

She smiled to herself as an idea began to form in her mind. She knew exactly what she would do.

~Gossamer~

Lena was exhausted, and although she tried her hardest to pay attention to what Merlin was saying, she found she was more content just staring at the flickering light from the candles.

"You're doing it again," Merlin warned her.

"Sorry." Lena locked her gaze on Merlin. "I'm here, really."

"Okay, just look at the fire-"

"That's what I was doing!"

"-But this time, _concentrate_. And the spell-"

"I know, I know. I think I can do it." Lena took a deep breath. _Exhale __slowly, __and __then __recite __the __spell. __Focus. _Her eyes bore into the flame.

"_Dewch__i__mi_," she hissed. A little bit of pain was felt as she felt the magic begin to fire itself up; her body seemed to be adjusting to this new power. It wasn't excruciating, just a bit uncomfortable. Occasionally she would get a headache or even feel a little sore afterwards, but mostly it was exciting to be doing magic.

As she narrowed her eyes, the flame flickered violently before actually picking itself up and moving into the air. Then, slowly, it made its way over to Lena's waiting hand. It hovered there momentarily before Lena blew on it gently, and it immediately extinguished. A little smoke rose, which Merlin fanned away.

"That was impressive. I can't believe you got that so quickly," he told her.

"Beginner's luck," she grinned, shrugging modestly.

"We'll see about that." Merlin smiled back.

Lena's eyes softened from the intense look they had taken on while performing the spell. Oh, he _was_ charming, really. And here she was acting like some love-struck teenager… although upon reflection, perhaps that term wasn't too off the mark at that moment.

"Well," Lena cleared her throat, "I had something I was going to ask you… but it never really seemed to be the right time."

"What is it?"

"This is going to sound sort of strange, but… when you met me, did I seem… familiar to you at all?"

Merlin thought hard about it. She _had_ seemed familiar, but he had decided she must just have one of those faces.

"…A little."

Lena smiled. "More so now, when I'm actually asking you about it?"

"Yeah."

Moss green eyes glimmered in the candlelight as they kept strong contact with cerulean ones. "Did you have any idea why I was familiar?"

"Not really."

Looking at the door to Merlin's room, the final pieces of Lena's idea fell into place.

"Well, I must be going soon. But before I do… I was hoping I could clear things up for you."

_Keep __breathing_, Lena reminded herself. _You __can__'__t __go __through __with __this __if __you __aren__'__t __breathing__… __because __then __you __will __die__…_

While her heart was beating faster than she had thought possible, Lena leaned in closer to Merlin. The corners of her lips tugged up as she realized he was slowly leaning in to meet her. She hesitated as her eyes closed and she felt his breath on her lips, but in the end, that was what made her give in. She closed the small space between him, letting their kiss progress slowly. It was sweet and exciting, just as every woman hopes their first kiss with a new man is.

Merlin's mind was an utter mess. He didn't have one coherent though while his lips were pressed against Lena's. All he knew for sure was that her scent was absolutely intoxicating.

He wasn't sure how long he'd had the urge to attempt something like this. But he was glad Lena had initiated their exchange, for he might never have worked up the nerve to even suggest it.

Lena broke away from him slowly, looking straight into his eyes.

"I should go," she said quietly, scrambling to get up and to the door. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment. That probably hadn't been a great idea…

"Lena!" Merlin called after her. She froze.

"Yes?" She tried to keep her voice from shaking.

"…You're coming back tomorrow?"

It sounded like a plea.

"Yes."

Merlin nodded to himself, since Lena's back was turned to him. "Goodnight," he finally said.

"Goodnight."

Merlin watched her leave, hardly able to believe what had happened. But he was even more shocked at the fact that after that kiss, he remembered. He remembered the young girl he had befriended – okay, she'd been a little more than a friend – all those years ago. But Lena was a woman now. Still, the attraction was there. And the way she kissed was exactly the same.

Merlin smiled to himself. He couldn't believe the same girl he'd been so smitten with then was back with him now. After Lena had walked out of his life the first time, he'd tried to forget about her, but that was hard. How were you supposed to forget your first love?

~Gossamer~

Lena stepped out into the night air, inhaling and exhaling slowly. She looked up at the sky, and hoped Morgana and Morgause were watching her right then.

"I know what you told me, but I cannot go on like this any longer. Stop being cowards and do whatever it is you're meant to do yourselves. Or better yet, stay out of Camelot and out of my life. I will not hurt Merlin; I care much too deeply for him. Find another pawn for your game."

She probably would look crazy, talking up to the moon, but she prayed that the message had been received.

Lena decided to take the long way home, since the cold wasn't bothering her much. Her insides were on fire from her kiss with Merlin. She hadn't known she could feel… whatever was going on in her heart. She was definitely glad her family had come to Camelot.

Walking into her home, being as silent as a mouse, Lena smelled something strange as soon as she'd entered. She closed her eyes, trying to get an idea of what she could be smelling.

She opened her eyes and looked to the right. Nothing. She looked to the left, where the kitchen was. She walked closer, and finally, she saw it.

Bathed in moonlight and lying on the floor was Adam. His blue eyes were closed and his skin was paler than ever. Lena gasped and ran to him. She sank down to the ground, and tears filled her eyes as she realized that yes, this nightmare was really happening.

Blood poured from a wound in Adam's back, staining the floor red. But Lena barely saw it. Putting her ear to his chest, she knew her brother wasn't breathing. His heart would never beat again.

Finally, she screamed. Lena's scream was loud enough to wake the dead.

Only it didn't.


	15. Claiming, But Never Claimed

**A/N: Sorry for missing my update last week. :( How did you all like the last chapter? I just couldn't kill Olive, you know? Anyway, here's the next for you. If you've seen it, look for a quote from Zombieland about halfway through. :) It just fit perfectly. And I've only seen that movie about 17,000 times. No, I don't have a problem. Why would you think that?**

_~We're on our way to nowhere, and trying so hard to get there~_

**Chapter 14: Claiming, But Never Claimed**

Tears streamed down Lena's face as Adam's body was covered with a white sheet and carried out of their house. Her body shook with suppressed sobs, and her face was red and blotchy.

Lena and Dyonas had done their best to keep Olive away from the scene… it was no place for a little girl to be. Well, Dyonas had really done the work on that part – Lena was too broken to even think straight. How had the night gone from what seemed like perfection to something horribly, horribly wrong?

Of course, Lena knew exactly who was responsible. It was a warning. Morgana and Morgause were trying to tell her that backing out of the task she had accepted and promised to fulfill was _not_ okay.

If Lena continued to disobey them, who would be next, she wondered. She knew they would not kill her, but instead they would aim for her family.

So the young woman worried about this and tried to stop crying as Adam's body disappeared from sight. Lena spent the next day at home, not bothering to show up for work. Were they really going to miss one maid? _Probably __not_, she decided. She hadn't gotten any sleep, anyway; she would be useless.

She also did not go to Merlin for her nightly magic lesson, and of course hadn't seen him all day. So by the time it was an hour past the time Lena should have shown up, Merlin was a bit put off. Lena had said she was coming back. And besides, _she _had kissed _him__…_ if that was even why she had neglected to come. Still, the protector inside Merlin was a little worried. So muttering his goodbyes to Gaius and telling his guardian he would return soon, he set off for Lena's house.

Hesitantly, he knocked on her front door. What if she did not wish to see him? What if she began to avoid all contact with him? He wasn't sure if he could bear it.

Because as much as it hurt to admit it, he hadn't felt this way about a woman since Freya. She and Lena were quite similar, as it had turned out. Smart, caring, beautiful… and magical. He'd lost Freya, but he couldn't lose Lena. Not now.

As his thoughts deepened, the door opened to reveal Lena, whose eyes were bloodshot. Her nose was also puffy and red.

"Oh God," she gasped, pushing more hair in front of her face. She didn't want Merlin to see her in such a state.

"Lena, what's wrong?" Merlin asked, his voice filled with genuine concern. The sincerity of it almost made Lena start crying again.

"I… Merlin, it's not…" Lena sighed. "You might as well know." She stepped outside with Merlin, closing the door behind her.

"Last night, when I came home," she began, her voice shaky, "I found my brother Adam lying dead on the floor."

Merlin's mouth fell open slightly. He couldn't believe it. How could such a young boy die?

"What happened?" he asked urgently.

"I… I don't know," Lena whimpered. "But he was murdered, Merlin. Stabbed right in the back. Merlin, he was only twelve…" Tears leaked from Lena's eyes, as much as she tried to fight them. But Merlin took her into his arms, holding her close to him. He let her cry onto his chest, not caring about the tearstains.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, feeling his heart break a little as her body was wracked with pain and misery. "Oh, Lena, I'm sorry."

Lena's legs shook; her knees were about to give out. Sensing this, Merlin held her tighter. He stroked her soft hair gently.

"This shouldn't have happened," she sobbed.

"Do you know why someone would do something like this? Or who it might have been?" Merlin asked, still petting her hair.

"N-no," Lena lied. "But if I find them, there will be hell to pay." That, at least, was the truth. Next time she saw Morgause and/or Morgana, she would…

Wait. She didn't really know a lot of magic… at least nothing that would stop them. They could probably kill her in an instant. They probably _would_. They had showed her what happened when she tried to defy them, and she realized something.

Even though Merlin was standing there, holding her, letting her tears fall onto his shirt and scarf, feeling true remorse for her, Adam was dead. Her brother was dead because she'd been acting like a silly girl and decided she wanted Merlin's affections for her own purposes. No one else that she shared bloodlines with deserved to die because she was falling for a man she knew from the beginning she had to be careful with…

Yes. She would continue on with her task. She would try not to fall in love with Merlin, so that it would be easier for her when…

_Wait_. Would she _really_ fall in love with Merlin? Could she? And what were his feelings towards her, anyway? Lena decided he must care about her quite a bit if he came looking for her when she didn't show up for her magic lesson, and was standing there in the middle of the night when there could have been a ruthless assassin in Camelot, just so he could try and make her feel better.

Realizing this, Lena pulled away slowly. Merlin's hands still rested on her back, not quite wanting to let her go. He worried that if he did, she would collapse… or something else.

"I would ask you inside, but… I fear that is not a wise choice right now," Lena muttered, wiping away her tears.

"I understand," Merlin told her solemnly. He let his arms fall to his sides, and Lena found she missed the warmth of his hands on her back. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I suppose if I want to keep a job, I should go to work," Lena said bitterly. "So, yes. But I do not think I will be up for any magic."

"Of course. I hope you get some rest," Merlin said. He could see Lena had not slept, mostly from the dark circles under her eyes and the aura of exhaustion surrounding her.

"Thank you," Lena sighed. Swiftly, Merlin leaned down and kissed her forehead, letting his lips rest there just a moment longer than he knew he probably should have. But when he pulled back, a ghost of a smile rested on Lena's mouth. Without another word, she went back inside, closing the door quietly. From her window, she watched Merlin turn around and walk back home, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets.

"Who was that?" Dyonas asked, coming out from the space he used to share with Adam.

"A friend."

"Gwen?"

"…No."

"Merlin?"

"Yes."

Dyonas didn't look any better than Lena did, especially since he worked specifically for the royal family and had to report for work. And Dyonas loved both his daughters, but someone – it was killing him that he didn't know who – had taken away his only son.

Lena, who had retreated to her room with Olive, clutched her sleeping sister tightly against her own body as she tried (for the millionth time that day, or so it seemed) to fight oncoming tears.

Olive had cried plenty as well, and Lena was filled with guilt, since she knew that if only she had not been so defiant to Morgana and Morgause – all for the _possible _affections of a man there was no guaranteed future with – her broken family would not be in such pain.

Closing her eyes and trying to wash away all the misery, Lena attempted sleep. But nightmares plagued her dreams, and resistance was futile against the bad thoughts.

* * *

><p>Lena was awake to watch the sun come up, and got ready for work as though someone else was controlling her. She met her father and sister's gazes with blank stares, and was hardly responsive to anything.<p>

_You __were __warned __not __to __turn __your __back __on __us_.

Lena heard a voice inside her head that sounded extremely similar to Morgana's as she was walking out the door, and it made her jump. In her mind, she called both Morgause and Morgana a few choice words she wouldn't say in front of Olive, and with a chip on her shoulder, Lena continued on to work.

The day seemed to drag on, but about halfway through, Lena met up with Gwen, and the green-eyed girl knew the rest of the workday would probably be tolerable with Gwen there.

After exchanging pleasantries, Gwen's face took on a dismal look, and Lena knew immediately what was coming.

"Merlin told me about what happened to your brother… I'm so sorry. No one should have to suffer that kind of loss."

Lena frowned. "I understand that loss is a part of life, such as losing a grandfather to age or illness, but someone as young as Adam that was not even _meant_ to die… that is the worst part, truthfully."

"I'm sure." Gwen patted Lena's hand comfortingly. "Which makes me wonder… why would someone kill your brother? Did he have any enemies?"

Lena chuckled darkly. "Enemies? He was _twelve_, Gwen."

"H-how is the rest of your family doing?" Gwen quickly asked, trying to fix what she had said.

"About as well as you would expect. My sister is very young and explaining the fact that someone _murdered_ her brother was hard, and my father is trying not to show how much pain he is in, but you know men and their sons."

"I do."

"I don't know, I just…" Lena sighed. "I wanted a better life here, and it seemed for a while like we were going to get it, but now…"

"You're not going to leave, are you?" Gwen's eyes widened.

"No," Lena breathed, knowing that even if she tried Morgana and Morgause would probably find her and make her life a living hell.

"So what _are_ you going to do?"

Lena sighed. "What can I do? Try to salvage what I have left of my family, I suppose. And always keep my brother in my heart."

Gwen gave Lena a small smile. "If you do not forget your brother and you keep him in your heart as you say you will, he will never truly be gone."

Lena forced a half-smile, just to be polite at Gwen's attempts to make her feel better. But Lena felt guilty as all hell for knowing she could have prevented her younger brother's death.

Gwen and Lena talked for a while longer, but after that, Lena just wanted peace. She wanted to go home, make some tea, and try to sleep. Maybe she would take a bath; her guilt made her feel dirty. She didn't care; really, all she wanted was to forget about what had happened. Not forget about Adam, but forget about what had been done to him.

Although her home suddenly seemed dark and dreary, and the reminder of death hung in the air, Lena was glad she hadn't gone to Merlin's. She didn't need more pity.

What Lena didn't know, however, was that Morgana and Morgause had done more than just kill Adam. They had also killed a part of Lena. Her soul was not whole anymore; there was a bit of her missing. A chasm had opened up in her heart, and it was impossible to say if a wound of that caliber could ever be mended.

* * *

><p>By the time Lena went for a magic lesson with Merlin again, her situation had become a little better. She no longer thought of her brother every hour of the day, although he was on her mind often. She tried to remember the happier times she'd had with him… when she'd had her whole family with her. The worst was when all Lena could remember was the cold, blank look on Adam's face when she'd found him on the floor that night.<p>

Although her body had been numbed by shock, anger, and sadness when she'd discovered her brother, Lena was beginning to recall certain details from that painful memory. She remembered how Adam's blood had flowed from the gaping wound on his back and onto her hands, and how she'd cried into the bucket of water that she had washed her hands off in.

Lena remembered brushing Adam's hair back from his face as tears splashed his face, like a sudden rainfall. She remembered how she felt as though her heartstrings were being violently yanked on as Adam's lifeless body was taken from her by Dyonas, and then handed over to the men that took him away.

Lena wondered what they had done with her brother's body. Had they burned it? Had they cast it off into a lake? Would they have even buried it? On the farm, anyone who died was usually buried, since it was believed that the decomposing bodies – Lena shuddered to think that the very thing that frightened her for so long as a child was happening to her brother, even as she held him on the floor – would be good for the soil. Sickly elders and small children, however, were burned, for some believed that it would be bad luck for the crops to put such a body into the earth.

Lena questioned the logic of this deeply and stared at her hands in thought until she heard Merlin's voice in her ears.

"Lena?"

"What?" Lena looked up from her hands and onto Merlin's face.

"Do you want to stop for tonight?"

"I'm fine."

"Lena, if you're not ready for this-"

"I'm _fine_," Lena repeated, gritting her teeth.

"You shouldn't be trying to use magic when you're angry," Merlin said softly. Lena sighed deeply and shook her head, facing her hands again.

"I'm not… I'm not _angry_, I'm just… confused." Lena tried meeting Merlin's eyes again. "I don't know what to think, Merlin. Maybe… maybe if I had been at home…" This, of course, was code for _"__If __I __had __not __been __so __stupid __and __tried __to __defy __two __witches __that __are __clearly __more __powerful __than __I __am__"_, but it was the same basic idea.

"Then _you_ would have been dead," Merlin whispered. And Merlin was surprised to feel a strong pain in his heart when he thought of that. No, losing Lena would truly be too much to bear…

And realizing that was sort of scary for him.

"But Adam had so much of a future waiting for him… and I do not know what my father will do without that. Take away a man's son… and you've truly given him nothing left to lose."

"Lena-"

"Ask any man to answer you truthfully, and I can almost guarantee he will tell you he would rather have his wife give birth to a son rather than a daughter. Sons are much more… useful."

Merlin didn't know what to say to that. He knew Lena was right; even if you were royalty and didn't live in poverty where you needed your children to work for their living, sons were preferred. They were your rightful heirs; and if you had daughters, all you could hope for was their marriage into a good kingdom with money… and pray that the kingdom they married into did not then try to take over _your _kingdom.

"But your father loves you, Lena. He loves you and your sister a lot," Merlin offered.

"Yes, but we could never do as much for him as Adam could have. Adam was strong… smart… capable…" Lena was suddenly speechless as Merlin delicately took her hands in his.

"So are you," he told her. His eyes bore into hers – well, at least the one that wasn't covered by the hair falling into her face.

Lena looked down again, warmth spreading over her face. Her heart was pounding inside her chest like mad, and she felt as though she could hardly breathe. Was this love? Was this how her mother had felt when she met Dyonas?

…It felt weird.

Merlin tilted Lena's chin up gently, so that he could look at her once again. Merlin and Lena could feel the intimacy of the moment, and the sheer power of such a small gesture shocked Lena.

"I've lost people too, Lena," Merlin said, "And even though I've never had a brother or sister killed… I know how you feel. You feel alone."

"I do," Lena murmured.

"But you're not, because you can always talk to me, no matter what. And you have Gwen. And your sister, and-"

"My father."

"Yes."

Anxiously, Lena put her hand on the side of Merlin's face. She leaned in and closed the gap between them. This kiss was different than the last; their first kiss had been sort of an experiment, just to see if there were any sparks between them. Of course, there were definitely a lot of mixed emotions, but the same warmth flooded through Lena as the kiss became more passionate.

Finally pulling away, Lena licked her lips. She and Merlin locked gazes for a moment before their feelings overtook them and Lena abandoned all of her better instincts. They kissed again, only now it was rougher… needier.

Since they had both been sitting down and facing each other, Merlin wrapped an arm around Lena to bring her closer, and she obliged until their bodies were pressed close against one another's. Merlin's other hand was tangled in Lena's hair, and Lena's hands were locked at the back of Merlin's neck.

The two broke apart only when they both needed air, and the intensity of the kiss (plus the lack of oxygen) left them both gasping a little. Realizing what had just happened, Lena's eyes began to fill with tears again. The last few days had brought on too much emotion in too little time.

Seeing the oncoming tears, Merlin quickly wrapped Lena in his arms again and held her close, letting her cry onto his shoulder just as she had the other night. He felt bad – had he just taken advantage of her? Maybe he shouldn't touch her...

But she stayed right in her spot, clinging to him, crying - a complete and utter wreck.

Once Lena's tear ducts seemed to empty, the young woman sniffled and stood up, a little embarrassed by the realization that she had practically been on Merlin's lap.

"I better get home," Lena sighed, reluctant to leave the safety and comfort of Merlin's arms.

He didn't ask her if she was coming back the next day.


	16. Trying To Find The InBetween

**A/N: Okay, I think this chapter is a bit more light-hearted then some of the previous ones. And I wrote this in the middle of summer - yeah, I was thinking of Christmas already then (just kidding!) - but I figured it would be better to put it up now instead of going on a month-long hiatus, right? (Although one may be coming soon... but I promise it will be a short one! And Arthur's a bit OOC here, but there's a reason he doesn't like Lena... my research told me he didn't. :P By the way, are there any Vampire Diaries fans out there? If so, would you like to see either an Arthur Pendragon/Katherine Pierce (aka Katerina Petrova) one-shot or possibly multi-chapter Merlin/VD crossover fic? It would have to be after I finish Gossamer, but I've been itching to do one for quite a while.**

_~They're out of sight, out of mind, until you're attacked from behind...~_

**Chapter 15: Trying To Find The In-Between**

Women were just one big mystery to Merlin, Lena included. But he found that the more time he spent with her, the more time he _wished_ he was spending with her. His workdays seemed to go on even longer than they had before, and Arthur was almost twice as insufferable.

About three weeks went by, and the whole castle was preparing for a visiting lord, his wife, and their daughter to arrive for the winter holidays.

While Lena also felt the excitement, she was saddened by the fact that this would be the first Christmas in twelve years without Adam. When this thought crossed her mind, she was having dinner at Gwen's house, and Lena's falling face was immediately noticed.

"What's wrong?" Gwen inquired.

"Just… Adam isn't going to be here for the holiday season. It is strange to think about."

Gwen nodded solemnly, and Lena knew her friend was thinking of her own father. Instantly, Lena felt bad. Gwen had been spending the holidays completely _alone_ for who-knew-how long.

"Gwen?" Lena asked softly. "Would you like to spend Christmas with me and my family?"

Gwen smiled sweetly at her friend. "I don't know, Lena, isn't that a bit of imposition…?"

"Of course not." Lena waved her hand, as though banishing the words from the air. "I invited you to stay with us. And would it not be rude to decline such an offer, Guinevere?"

Gwen's smile widened. "I suppose it would be."

"Well then, I will inform my father we shall have a houseguest."

The two women smiled at each other fondly before returning to their meals. Lena felt fortunate to have found such a good friend in Camelot… but she felt a little nervous as she realized Merlin couldn't quite be classified as a "friend" anymore.

The last few weeks had been full of magic. Lena was getting better and better. She had joked that perhaps she would become better than Merlin someday, and Merlin laughed and told her not to hold her breath.

As the magic in Lena got stronger, she was also able to harness it better, which was extremely important. But of course, as expected, Lena's magic was not the only thing getting stronger.

Lena was spending as much time as she could with Merlin. She tried to spend time with her family as well, but staying away from Merlin was easier said than done. As much as she tried to deny her heart what it was trying to say, she knew the truth.

She was falling in love with him.

And from what she had gathered (mostly from listening to the tales of old maids and lovesick serving girls), Merlin was probably falling for her as well. Had she not made the deal with Morgana and Morgause almost a month ago (although it seemed like much longer), she would have been thrilled… overjoyed, actually.

_But __the __fact __of __the __matter __is __I __knew __from __the __beginning __I __could __not __have __him._ The thought made Lena grimace. How could she have been so careless?

She remembered something her mother had told her. "It is impossible to make yourself not love someone if that is truly what your heart wants, just as you cannot make yourself love someone if your heart tells you no." But then she considered something else.

_Perhaps __I __only __want __him __so __badly __because __I _knew _he __could __not __be __mine from the start?_

Lena sighed. That wasn't true and she knew it. Because if Merlin had come over to her house at any moment and asked for her hand in marriage, she would have immediately accepted.

_I __suppose __I __just __love __him __because__… __I __love __him._

_Fan-bloody-tastic._

* * *

><p>The Lord Barlow, his wife Aurelia, and their daughter Oriana arrived early in the morning, and another blanket of snow covered the ground as they arrived. Lena watched from a castle window as she cleaned the room that she was told Oriana was going to stay in. It had to be nearly perfect and almost spotless, so it had definitely kept Lena busy that morning.<p>

She was amazed at how the snow and sunshine made everything look ethereal… like she was in another world. And for a moment, she was almost able to forget about everything that had happened.

But then she was brought back to reality by the sound of the door to the room opening.

"Can I help you?" Lena asked irritably, somewhat angered by the fact that she had been pulled out of her more pleasant thoughts. She turned around, and realized Prince Arthur was standing in the doorway, glaring at her.

_Oh __my __God,__I __am __such __an __idiot_. She panicked, and quickly bowed her head. "F-forgive me, my lord, I did not know it was you."

"Oh, so do you have a habit of randomly snapping at whoever disturbs you during the day?" Arthur asked dryly. Lena shook her head hastily.

"N-no," she said quietly.

"I just came to inspect the room."

"I have been working on it all day, sire."

Arthur turned his gaze from the room to the woman standing before him. Lena had her hands clasped together in front of her and was chewing her lip, but when she realized the prince was looking at her she stopped.

"Do you require something, my lord?" she asked nervously, still thoroughly embarrassed from her outburst.

Arthur smirked a little. So this was the woman his servant was so infatuated with?

"No," he said simply, before turning back to look at the room again.

"Is everything to your liking?"

"…It's fine." After all, _he_ wouldn't be the one staying in the room. And he supposed it would do for Oriana – it had to be nice, for the visiting nobles were there to renew a treaty that was definitely important.

"Well, if that is all…" Lena began to make her way to the door.

"Wait." Arthur held up a hand to stop her.

"Yes?" She looked a little impatient, and did not bother hiding it in her voice.

Arthur looked at her for a moment again before shaking his head. "Nothing." Under his breath, he added, "But I can see why Merlin fancies you."

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing."

The brunette sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "You don't like me, do you, sire?"

Arthur was shocked. Apparently she'd gotten over her mortification from earlier. What answer did she think she was going to get?

"Why would you ask that?"

"You… you fix me with this cold look… like you-" Lena then remembered just who she was talking to. She blushed, and turned away. "I apologize, my lord. I seem to have forgotten my place. That was not an appropriate question to ask. I'll be going now."

Arthur watched Lena leave, still a little surprised. But she was right – he didn't really like her. Why, he didn't know. He really had no reason to _not_ like her… especially since Merlin _did_.

The prince frowned. He would have to think about this later.

* * *

><p>By the time night fell on Camelot, the inside of the castle was already glowing with the energy and excitement it held. Well, for those that were in the king's graces, anyway. The servants were mostly just nervous, and Lena was no exception. Apparently, since she'd been preparing Oriana's room, she was also to serve the young girl. And Oriana was truly a girl – she couldn't have been a day over eleven, as far as Lena could tell.<p>

"You there!" called a scratchy female voice. Lena turned to see the woman she'd come to recognize as the head kitchen woman. "Are you the one serving Oriana tonight?"

"Yes, ma'am," Lena confirmed.

"Right then, you best get along to the kitchens."

"Of course. Thank you, ma'am." With that, Lena hurried off in the directions of the kitchens.

As she was tying on her serving apron, which was a rich red color with gold thread lining it – Camelot's colors – she saw a familiar face.

"Charlotte?" she asked, looking at the woman who stood next to her, trying to tie her own apron.

"Oh, Lena! It's good to see you."

"Likewise." Lena smiled at the girl from the scullery that she had once worked with. "You're serving tonight?"

"Yes, I am serving Lady Aurelia."

"I see. Well, I am serving her daughter, so I suppose we'll be working closely tonight. How are the other girls doing? I have not seen any of you since my work in the scullery."

"Oh, they're just fine. I've just been promoted up to your level, though," Charlotte said proudly.

Lena felt a twinge of guilt. Charlotte had probably worked her fingers to the bone to get the sort of serving job Lena had been doing just because Morgana and Morgause planned it that way. Once she'd filled in as a cleaning servant that one day, she hadn't really gone back to the kitchens.

Trying to push away her bad feelings, Lena chatted amicably with Charlotte until a loud gong sounded throughout the kitchens and everyone went silent.

"Well, I suppose it is time," Charlotte whispered to Lena, straightening her back and trying to hold her head a little higher.

Lena listened with half of her mind as the women were once again told what was expected of them as servants of Camelot, not to spill wine on anyone, and of course to never speak unless spoken to. Lena nodded obediently when Charlotte and the other servants did, and then they were all sent out to do their jobs.

The tables that the royals ate at were long and rectangular, so the servants formed one orderly line and received the platters they were supposed to bring out. Lena sucked in a deep breath through her teeth as she began to feel the pressure of her situation.

_Whatever __you __do,_she told herself, _DO __NOT __TRIP._

~Gossamer~

Lena had to admit, she was surprised at how calm she kept herself while she served Lady Oriana… or at least how calm she appeared to be. Lady Oriana was young and not yet corrupted by politics, so she was actually quite a pleasure to serve. She was polite and did not boss Lena around, much to the servant's relief. Lena was grateful, however, when the servants got a short break and had to step back so that Uther could make his speech.

Lena had spotted Gwen serving wine to the whole table, so she made her way to her friend quickly. Gwen smiled warmly at her as they both took a sip of wine from small goblets that one of the older maidens was giving them. Since it all looked very cautious and planned, Lena realized that servants were probably not supposed to be drinking… but she had to admit, the alcohol subsided her worries of the night.

As Uther began speaking, both Gwen and Lena could see that he really was in no condition for this sort of thing, but as they had discussed earlier, openly admitting such a thing to the kingdom by not fulfilling his kingly duties would be seen as weakness to the visitors… and who knew where _that_ information could be passed along to.

Although Lena kept her gaze on the king, she found herself doing the same thing she had been when receiving instructions in the kitchens – although the words connected with her brain, she didn't really follow the whole sentences to put them all together. Her mind was elsewhere… or at least, wherever Merlin was. She saw him right by Arthur's side through the whole thing, but even he stayed while the king was speaking. And since Oriana was almost the entire table length from Arthur with her mother, Lena couldn't talk to him. She'd sent him smiles as often as she could, but that wasn't a very satisfying form of communication.

Lena's mind flashed back to what Gwen had told her about Christmastime being the most romantic time in the castle - or at least it had been something like that. She had to stifle a giggle as she looked over at Merlin and wondered if using magic to put mistletoe in his room would be considered abusing her new-found powers.

_At __least __it __is __using __magic __for __something __Morgana __and __Morgause __would __approve __of, _Lena thought bitterly. She had not seen them since the attack on her brother, but she always found coins in her purse that had not been there only moments before she looked. Their message was clear – obey and prosper. Disobey and suffer.

Lena snapped back to reality as the nobles around her began clapping, and she realized it was time to get back to work. The rest of the night was fairly uneventful, as the actual signing of the peace treaty wasn't until the next afternoon, and Christmas was nearly a week away.

And with the upcoming holidays on her mind, Lena began to formulate yet another plan as the feast came to an end and she helped the servants pile up the dirty dishes. Since she had actually done the serving, she wouldn't be washing them, and she realized just how tired she was. _Stress __takes __a __lot __out __of __you_, Lena thought, sighing as she wiped her hands on her apron.

As she left the kitchen, she came across Merlin and Arthur in the hallway to Arthur's room. From what she could see, Merlin was half-carrying the prince through the corridor, and upon further inspection, Lena noticed the prince's glazed, half-lidded eyes and slurred mumbles.

As Lena was headed in the opposite direction, she grabbed Merlin's arm softly, bringing both him and Arthur to a temporary halt. Lena could hear a faint "Whhyyy we stop?" from Arthur, but smiled to herself and ignored it.

"Did you really give him that much wine?" she asked incredulously, stifling laughter.

"What was I supposed to do? Tell him no?" Merlin asked irritably struggled to hold up Arthur's sagging form.

"You could have cut him off!" Lena reminded him, still surprised at just how inebriated Arthur was.

"Yeah, well, I'll remember that next time," Merlin grumbled, letting Arthur support himself on the wall, although one cautious hand was still on the prince's arm. Lena gave a slight smile and placed her left hand on Merlin's right cheek.

"No, you won't," she told him fondly. She glanced over to Arthur, who was suddenly fascinated by the intricate carvings on the stone wall, and smirked as she leaned in and placed a short, sweet kiss on Merlin's lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Merlin whispered as he attempted to drag the prince along through the hallway again, muttering "Come _on_, Arthur!" as he took hold of both Arthur's wrists. Lena chuckled and continued on home.


	17. When The Thunder Calls For Me

**A/N: I know, I know, I disappeared... and I'd give you a long, lengthy explanation, but you came for the story, didn't you? So before I start, one more thing - the middle of this story will make no sense if you're in a series 4 mindset. Uther is much less disturbed and, um, y'know _dead_ in this story. I wrote this all in the middle of the summer and hoped for the best... it didn't work out... but I hope you enjoy anyway. :) And doesn't the timeline of this chapter work out wonderfully?**

_~Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers... it starts out soft and sweet, then turns them into hunters~_

**Chapter 16: When The Thunder Calls For Me**

Snowflakes of all shapes and sizes fell outside of Merlin's window, causing Merlin and Lena to get distracted repeatedly from the magic they were attempting to practice. Finally, they gave up on trying to work, and Merlin leaned back on his bed with his arm around Lena's shoulders while her head rested in the crook of his neck, and they blew out the candles and just watched the snow fall.

"I wish I could show you magic in a bigger space," Merlin said after a while of silence.

"Well, if it wasn't so damn cold right now, then maybe we could go into the forest or… something."

"We can do that in the springtime, if you want."

"Mmm," Lena sighed contentedly. "But how will you ever escape Arthur?" she asked, smiling into the darkness.

"Maybe he'd let me have a day off?"

"I should certainly hope so; I mean, you clearly deserve one. You at least have Christmas off, yes?"

"Yeah, and it kills him to give me that much. I think he just misses me." Merlin joked, making Lena laugh.

"Maybe he does… I think he enjoys your company more than he lets on. Either way, he better be careful." Lena smirked. "I might start to get jealous."

"Trust me; you have absolutely no competition with that prat." Then, Merlin rethought his words. "I mean, you don't have _any _competition… prattish or otherwise."

"Good." Lena grinned. "So what are you planning to do? For Christmas, I mean."

"Um… probably just stay here with Gaius. You?"

"Well, Gwen is coming over, and it will be her, Olive, my father, and myself. I just think no one should be alone on Christmas…" Lena's voice got a little thick at that, and Merlin tightened his grip around her shoulders and rubbed his hand soothingly on her upper arm. "I mean, I see her and I see… I see how much she misses her father, and… I cannot help but think how… how that could have been me."

Lena's eyes stung with unshed tears, and she struggled to keep herself from crying yet again. _I have been doing way too much of that lately_, she chided herself.

"Shh… Lena, it's okay, it's okay," Merlin whispered. "You're okay. Nothing happened to your father." Taking a deep breath, Merlin decided he was going to come clean with Lena, so that she would know he understood.

"I… Lena, my father's dead, too."

"What?" Lena lifted her head from Merlin's shoulder, and felt really guilty. Here she'd been getting upset about something that hadn't even happened (although she was really more upset about what had happened because of what she prevented), when Merlin had actually lost his father.

"He died… the day after I met him. Not too long ago."

Lena was speechless. What was she supposed to say to that? Finally regaining her voice, she murmured, "H-how long ago?"

"A little over a year ago, I guess."

"Oh, Merlin." Lena put her head back down. "We really are quite a group, aren't we?"

"What do you mean?"

"Both your father and Gwen's father have passed away, Arthur's father is barely mentally stable, and mine was pulled back from the brink of death."

Merlin, not knowing what else to say, sighed and kissed Lena's forehead. He looked into her eyes, and then kissed both of her cheeks. When his lips finally reached hers, Lena kissed him back immediately, cupping his face with her hand. They broke apart, and Lena frowned, as it had been Merlin that initiated the separation, but then he began to lay soft kisses along her jaw, and she smiled. She opened her mouth to say the few words that were resting on her tongue, but stopped before she could do any damage.

_Wait._

What she had been about to say could be potentially dangerous, and she decided it was best to just shut up for the moment. However, Merlin sensed her sudden discomfort, and pulled away.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Do you want me to stop? I'm sorry, Lena, I-"

"N-no, Merlin, you're fine. I, um… I just have a lot of things on my mind right now."

"Like what?"

Lena chuckled wryly. "To be perfectly honest… I don't know. Sometimes I think I worry simply because it is in my nature, and I need something to worry about." Lena licked her lips, wishing that – for just a moment – she could forget the world around her. For just one minute, she wanted it to be only her and Merlin… never having to fret about anyone else.

But Merlin seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, for he looked deeply into her eyes, and he murmured quietly into her ear, "Maybe I could distract you from your worries?" His request was so hopeful – he just wanted to help the woman he cared about so much – and he blushed ferociously in the darkness after he said it, but Lena just took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. That question had been quite unlike Merlin, but something had definitely sparked between them, and Lena just wanted to keep that for as long as she possibly could.

"I think I would like that."

The two stayed in Merlin's room for nearly another hour, simply trying to see just how sweet their kisses could be, how gently Merlin could push Lena's hair behind her ear, how softly they could whisper little bits of nothing to each other, and how tightly their fingers could intertwine.

Finally, Lena's head managed to get somewhat cleared, and she knew she had to leave while she still had the presence of mind to get away from the man that she lo-

_Stop right there. The hole you keep digging yourself into is big enough already._ Lena's ever-present conscience was quick to remind her that thoughts of that nature were totally inappropriate.

"I better be off; I'll see you tomorrow," Lena said as she gave Merlin a short kiss good-bye.

"'Night, Lena." Merlin leaned back with his hands locked behind his head, grinning at her as she left. Looking over her shoulder at the warlock, Lena rolled her eyes affectionately and walked out into the night.

Lena sighed softly to herself as she took quick steps to get home, knowing how lucky she was to have Merlin, even if their time together was to be limited. She may have had strong feelings for him, but she did try to keep in mind the fact that her family _had_ to be her first priority… and besides, there were other men around, right?

_Sure, but they could never be like Merlin_. Lena groaned inwardly. Who was she kidding on that one? Half the time her inner voice told her to forget about Merlin, and the other half it was reminding her that she would definitely have a hard time letting go of her warlock. After all, she cared for him so deeply, it almost hurt.

_Actually,_ she thought, _that's probably just my head pounding from all this confusion, and my brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity._

When Lena arrived at her house, she found her father at the kitchen table, eating some late-night bread and cheese. Clearing her throat to alert Dyonas of her presence, Lena approached him.

"Father, I have a question for you, if you don't mind," Lena said as she sat down across from Dyonas, who smirked.

"Hello to you too, Lena. Anyway, since we're here, what is it?"

"Do you believe that there is such a thing as soul mates?" she asked.

"Soul mates?"

"Yes, soul mates. You know… two people that are destined to fall in love, no matter how hard they try to fight it."

"Well, what do _you_ think?"

"I think that such a thing sound like both a blessing and a curse. But I want to know what your thoughts are. Do you believe that soul mates exist?"

"Anything's possible, Lena, especially when it comes to love, although I don't claim to be an expert on matters of the heart."

"What about the phrase 'love conquers all'? I seek only your opinion, Father."

Dyonas sighed. "Um… don't you have some female friends you could ask? That nice girl Gwen is just down the street…"

Frowning, Lean crossed her arms bitterly. "You are older and more experienced in life; plus most of the young maidens seem absolutely sure that love does indeed conquer all. Besides, I would like to hear a man's thoughts on the idea."

"…Can't you ask your friend Merlin?"

Now thoroughly annoyed and slightly angered, Lena stood up. "Father, if you do not wish to discuss something like love with your own daughter, kindly tell me now and I shan't bring up the subject again."

"N-no, Lena, wait." Dyonas massaged his temples and inhaled sharply before trying again. "I'm sorry, Lena, it's just… love is something I always imagined you talking to your mother about. I've never been good with romance, and Lord knows she had to guide me along most of our relationship before we were married…" Dyonas stood up in looked Lena in the eye. "I don't know a lot about love, Lena, but I do know this. True love is a beautiful thing, and you should fight for it. But it is not the _only_ thing, and I myself have seen both young women and men do stupid things because they thought that-"

"Love conquers all," Lena finished. "I know, Father, I have seen it as well." _Hell, I am _living _it_.

"Right. And as for soul mates… who can really know? You shape your own future, Lena, remember that."

Slowly, Lena nodded. "Thank you, Father. You have told me what I wished to know." As Lena went to go to bed, her father stopped her by putting a firm but gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Why all these questions about love?" he asked softly.

Lena smiled at him. "I don't know, I suppose I would just like to have a bit of a heads-up when… er, _if_ I fall in love."

Dyonas chuckled and pulled his daughter close. "You are so much like your mother," he murmured into her ear.

Pulling back, Lena laughed. "Thank you," she whispered. "Goodnight."

As she lay in her bed that night, just thinking about things, Lena wondered what had made her so moody lately. Honestly, she seemed caught between love and hate at every turn. She had never lost her patience with her father so fast.

Lena had heard that, often a day or two before a woman began her monthly bleeding, she would experience sudden mood swings, but Lena had experienced her own only a week before, so surely it wasn't that. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she wondered if she was still trying to deal with Adam's death.

_Yes, _she decided, _that must be it._

* * *

><p>It was Christmas Eve, and Lena was serving Lady Oriana once again. But she was eager to get home and be with Olive, Dyonas, and Gwen.<p>

Lena suddenly realized she hadn't seen Gwen all day, nor was her friend serving that night. A rush of panic swept over Lena as she realized Gwen's absence could have something to do with Morgana and Morgause.

But why would they do something to Gwen? Lena knew that Gwen had served Morgana for years, back when the witch was Uther's ward, and that they had once been friends, so perhaps it was revenge… but why now?

Lena was sure it wasn't because of something she herself had done, because she had been trying her best to be a good little pawn ever since Adam was killed. And Merlin was completely infatuated with her, which was something she was intent on holding on to.

So Lena spent a good portion of the night fretting about Gwen, although she tried to stay focused on Oriana and the royals as best she could.

Finally, as the beginning of the end of the night came upon Camelot, Lena saw Arthur tell his father something discreetly, and while Uther didn't look particularly happy with what the prince had said, he gave Arthur a small nod before taking a long drink of his wine.

Lena watched intently as the Crown Prince stood up and cleared his throat loudly, causing most of the room to go silent.

In his booming "prince-mode" voice, Arthur began to speak. "It gives my father and me great pleasure to announce that the noble family will have another named added to it tonight." Arthur paused, letting his words sink in and the suspense build.

"I present to you the sister of one of my most trusted and valued knights who has also played a large role in bringing Camelot to its wonderful prosperity… the Lady Guinevere."

With that, Arthur held his arm towards the entrance of the Grand Hall, where Gwen stood.

Lena's breath caught in her throat. She couldn't believe how beautiful her friend looked. She knew if anyone deserved such a moment, it was Gwen. And Lena felt no envy, as some of the other women clearly did, there was only joy in her heart, for she knew what it had taken for Gwen to get to where she now was.

Gwen's dress was an absolutely stunning shad of red with gold threads that wove intricate patterns on the bodice, waist, and hem of the dress. While the Camelot colors were a bit harsh for Gwen – pale pinks, yellows, and lavenders suited her much better – she looked every bit as noble as she had suddenly become.

Lena applauded and cheered for Gwen as the newly-appointed Lady took a seat with the royals (next to Arthur, of course) just as everybody did, but she was certain she was more enthusiastic than everyone else.

_Well, upon reflection, perhaps not _everyone_ else_, Lena considered. The look on Merlin's face, after all, was so very full of happiness it was nearly indescribable. Suddenly, his eyes met Lena's, and she knew they were both thinking the same thing.

_This is how it should be._

Perhaps things were finally taking a turn for the better in Camelot.

* * *

><p>Back at Lena's home, Gwen and Lena sat on the bed that Olive usually shared with her sister, but for the night Olive was sleeping in her father's bed. At one point, Lena had jokingly called Gwen "my lady", making her friend wince, and then Gwen made the green-eyed woman promise to never, <em>ever<em> call her that again.

"So, I suppose this means you'll be moving into the castle shortly?" Lena inquired as she let her hair down from its messy bun.

"Yes, that's what I was told."

"That's going to be nice, won't it?" Lena grinned as she shook out her brown locks. "And you will be so close to Arthur…"

Gwen's mouth fell open. "Lena…"

"Oh, come on, Gwen. Now that you're a lady, the prince can make his feelings for you known without disapproval. Why, I am certain he will announce your engagement any day."

"He would actually have to propose first, you know."

Lena scoffed. "Details. Either way, I think you will be a fabulous queen."

"There's no guarantee I will be Queen, Lena. Arthur does have to keep his people in mind."

"Yes, and while he could marry for politics and land, don't you think the people would rather one of their own be queen? Think about it, Gwen… no one born into nobility has any idea what it's like to live in poverty. They do not see what we see every day. With you ruling… you can be the voice for so many that wish to be heard, but cannot hope of such a thing due to their position in the world."

Gwen couldn't possibly deny that Lena was making a lot of sense, and Lena smiled triumphantly as she brushed out her hair.

"Ugh, now you've got me daydreaming about all of that," Gwen muttered.

"No, I don't. It's the middle of the night, Gwen. _Day_dreaming would be, in a word, impossible."

Gwen chuckled. "Lena, don't be like that."


End file.
